731–740 of 745 posts
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I'd read it.
Very well. I'll do that this weekend when I have more time to read and reply. Should be an interesting discussion, especially since I left a career in finance to go to grad school to do something totally different. It is a big move but I've never been happier.
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Would it be fair to say you need to be titillated to give a shit?
Being a hetrosexual male, being titillated by women is not really a choice I have a lot of control over. I do have control over my behavior and what I do and say. I actually find extremely attractive women somewhat difficult to have relationships with as sometimes it's difficult to look at them without cracking a suspiciously wide grin.
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As I noted later in my comment "unless one makes a concerted effort to seek out their tribe," which agrees with your point. That stated, this being a technical forum, many of us are Myers-Briggs (if you believe in it) INTJ types -- so yes, we do potentially lack the social skills. Moreover, I reflect upon my own adulthood, where for much of it I have risen before dawn to work, skipped lunches, returned home somewhere…
INTP/J here. I’ve found most strong friendships created over over past decade we’re with very, very similar Myers-Briggs types. Wanna be friends?
It's not. Choose to give unconditional love and choose to be lovable. You'll have more friends than you know what to do with.
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"it's just hard to meet people in the first place" If it's hard, it's usually a psychological difficulty rather than a lack of opportunity. Unless you live somewhere exceptionally remote, you're usually surrounded by people and opportunities for meeting them are quite frequent. You could strike up conversations most anywhere: from streets to bus stops to parks to bars to dance and social clubs to special interest gro…
I live in Seattle and everyone else on my daily commute is immersed in their smartphone, tablet, or laptop.
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It's very possible to have every intent and desire to be on time, and still fail at it. Some people have problem with things like attention and executive function that make planning in time very difficult. For you it might be an issue of not caring. IT's not for everyone.
This reminds me of all these obese people who a are obese because of "health issues", to cover their horrific lifestyle. 98% of the cases, probably (I am being generous). Same with the timekeeping : some feel that they are so unique and mentally impaired that keeping time is beyond them. But they just do not give a shit about others. I was 30 kg overweight and had all kind of excuses (including a medical condition).…
Being perpetually late is a psychological problem. Telling people to "just be on time" is like telling depressed people to "just be happy".
Yes, depression can be remedied, as can perpetual lateness. No, it's not as easy for people who suffer from these. Please assume that if it's easy for you to either not be depressed or be on time, then it's hard for you to understand the people who exhibit these behaviors.
If you want to understand perpetual lateness better, please read this article: https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/07/why-im-always-late.html
(I would also recommend it to everyone else who is late - it's a weapon in my arsenal).
Signed, someone who just appeared at the post office that closes at 2PM at 1:59:37 PM.
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If you read my other comments you will notice that I do not ignore the real problem. You seem to be in the minority who actually has a medical condition and being late is probably one of the many impacts and maybe not the worst. I am arguing with all the special flowers who "just cannot be in time", because this is fashionable, a mark of superiority or basic assholness.
It's quite possibly the worst. It has burned me plenty of times, and almost burned me badly a lot more. There were numerous classes and tests I should have failed because of my tardiness that I was able to talk my way out of, etc. A lot of times I can "smart" my way out of the worst problems. For instance I missed a flight that was taking me to a cruise the next morning. The airport staff were unhelpful; there weren'…
This might help: https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/07/why-im-always-late.html
I really wish more people understood that being late for people like you (and me, and the blog author) isn't the same as it is for them, and can't be fixed simply. I need a support group, dammit!
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This reminds me of all these obese people who a are obese because of "health issues", to cover their horrific lifestyle. 98% of the cases, probably (I am being generous). Same with the timekeeping : some feel that they are so unique and mentally impaired that keeping time is beyond them. But they just do not give a shit about others. I was 30 kg overweight and had all kind of excuses (including a medical condition).…
Please don't assume everyone's brain is like yours. Being perpetually late is a psychological problem. Telling people to "just be on time" is like telling depressed people to "just be happy". Yes, depression can be remedied, as can perpetual lateness. No, it's not as easy for people who suffer from these. Please assume that if it's easy for you to either not be depressed or be on time, then it's hard for you to under…
Group 1) Those who don’t feel bad or wrong about it. These people are assholes. Group 2) Those who feel terrible and self-loathing about it. These people have problems.
Group 1 is 98% of the population. This is why we perceive people who are late as [from impolite to assholes]
Group 2 suffers because of that.
Thus my analogy with weight: 98% of people eat like starving hippos and then claim all kind of bullshit about how they are biologically|mentally|genetically|any-other-y impacted and that being fat is not their fault. And "no fat shaming because we are so special". Yes - aggressive fat shaming so that you put your shit together and stop being a (now or future) problem for the population.
The remaining 2% suffers because of that.
I mentioned this a few times in my comments
--- extra story --- I also remember a friend of mine who was overweight and had two medical conditions (ans possibly a mild psychological one) which made him what he was. I saw him fighting back - by eating healthy, moving a lot (I was lightly sparring kung-fu with him) and I was super proud. There are some happy ends - he is still far from being a model but he met a super girl (thin and sporty by the way) who realized after going past the physical aspect that he was a super guy. Their children (now teens) tease him about that.
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I'd read it.
Very well. I'll do that this weekend when I have more time to read and reply. Should be an interesting discussion, especially since I left a career in finance to go to grad school to do something totally different. It is a big move but I've never been happier.