Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#71

Post by dang » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:06 AM UTC

Skovy wrote: post #24

thekenwheeler wrote: post #14

You're trying to force it. That's not going to work. Stop. Get a job. A job that you like. Then just be good at it. Better yet, be the best at it, and make sure it is something you are passionate about and talented in. It really is that simple. Nobody wants to invest in somebody with a bunch of failed entrepreneurial ventures. But if you sit back, take a check, work on cool shit and build an impressive body of work,…

You sir, deserve my upvote for making me laugh on HN.

This is a bad comment for Hacker News. We want to optimize for signal/noise ratio. It's good to laugh, and to upvote; reporting that one laughed, and upvoted, not so much.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#72

Post by msutherl » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:09 AM UTC

I agree with most of the other replies here, but also:

consider (1) seeing a therapist and (2) reading the Tao Te Ching.

If you're so stressed out about your work that you can't lead a joyful life, and you can't even give your girlfriend the attention she deserves for believing in you – this is the most important thing in the world – then this could be a personal issue and in that case I would recommend seeking a professional outside perspective to help you sort it out.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#73

Post by wmboy » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:24 AM UTC

meric wrote: post #50

kriptonic wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hello. You make a lot of assumptions about me. I'm not trying to whine, I saw a problem and I'm asking for help fixing that problem in return for my time and money. Also, I have a job. Me and my girlfriend have a great relationship and I do everything I can to make sure she's happy. I have a lot more than $5000 to show for it. That's is just what I have for a side project. I don't fail at everything. I'm only 23, and…

"I do everything I can to make sure she's happy." That's the wrong way around. Do everything to make sure you are happy, with or without her. It's up to her if she wants to be happy with you.

Wow, maybe if you're in it for the short term, but if you want a long term relationship or marriage, that "make, sure I'm happy" mantra sure ain't going to work.

Imagine if we had that attitude with our children? Or mother?

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#74

Post by late2part » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:24 AM UTC

cpayne wrote: post #23

thekenwheeler wrote: post #14

You're trying to force it. That's not going to work. Stop. Get a job. A job that you like. Then just be good at it. Better yet, be the best at it, and make sure it is something you are passionate about and talented in. It really is that simple. Nobody wants to invest in somebody with a bunch of failed entrepreneurial ventures. But if you sit back, take a check, work on cool shit and build an impressive body of work,…

That is so on the money! Like everything in life - just because it appears simple, doesn't mean it is easy... ...and then go bang your partner again. They're either missing you or about to break up with you.

Gentle advice: Make love to your partner, bang them later when you've got the relationship back to an optimal state.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#75

Post by sizzle » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:25 AM UTC

karmajunkie wrote: post #21

kriptonic wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for asking. I work as a web developer. I have been building eCommerce sites since I was 15~, I'm 23 now! I can do frond-end and back-end development, although I think I'm better at back-end development. I have good experience with HTML/CSS/Javascript, PHP/MySql, Java & Node.js. I also have some experience in building AI systems using ANNs, GAs, etc.

Congratulations, you figured it out. You don't know anything. Come on man—you're 23! how many real problems have you even encountered in your life? Let me rephrase that in a way that sounds less dismissive of any personal problems you may have in your life (which are important but not the basis of a startup)—how many problems have you encountered in your life that could be solved by technology or automation that are…

Your advice really resonated with me aswell, thanks for sharing your wisdom.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#76

Post by pawelkomarnicki » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:29 AM UTC

Sorry dude for being brutal, but your life attitude just... sucks :( What about skipping the startup fever alltogether or getting a real job with constant income and not the "you get this _generous_ equity package" (it's never generous, it's never worth it to be honest, it's always better to have a hard cash on your salary account). Like pyrrhotech proposed, get a job, save some cash and spend 1-2 hours a day max on a side project. That's the only sane way.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#77

Post by pawelkomarnicki » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:30 AM UTC

pyrrhotech wrote: post #7

Here's the better idea. Get a 9 to 5 six figure job. It will be boring, I know. Life sucks like that sometimes. Most of us have one. Next, live like a pauper, saving 60-70+% of that income. Spend your free time doing exactly 3 things 1. working on a side project 2. spending time with your girlfriend. 3. exercise (never count this out, no matter what your life circumstances otherwise) Then just wait 5 more years. You…

You mister should write a book on how to be sane — I see many, many (actually everyone I know) ambitious people being wrecked by this "startup bullshit", believing they have to slave off, skip everything in life, because "success" ;)

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#78

Post by stevenkovar » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:33 AM UTC

Be mindful, be grateful, and fail forward.

By that, I mean to take a step back and give yourself a 'big picture' view of the world around you to gain some perspective. Some call it meditation; some call it getting some fresh air. You're 23; you need to learn that being an entrepreneur is a marathon (not a sprint) before it kills you—and it will.

Learn to create the time for yourself—to switch off. Your logical mind needs down time to compartmentalize your ideas and arrive at that 'aha!' moment; you can't always be "on." Your body needs to strengthen (work out) and rest (proper sleep). Your social mind needs time to take in the world and discover joy. I can't emphasize the idea of "creating" time enough. It won't fall into your lap. You have to make it.

Then look at how far you've brought yourself to this point and appreciate it. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, just to the person you were yesterday. Appreciate and get inspiration from the little things. Show people you are grateful; hug them, buy them coffee, do them a favor. These acts will make you happier than money or material wealth.

Consider taking a job where your talents help make a team stronger. It's important to be challenged in your area of expertise, but it's more important to take a notepad and to observe your colleagues and learn what makes them good at what they do, because they have the skills that can help your future business(es). Learn what to do and what not to do. It's not about the money, it's about the process.

When you screw up and get yelled at or feel embarrassed, that's a good thing. It's another experience under your belt; another data point to reference. When you don't get yelled at or feel embarrassed, that's very bad; it means no one cares to push you forward—including yourself. Always find something to improve and when you fail, fail forward.

As for your business, it takes $0 to validate an idea. Find three customers to pay for your product or service before building it (just a rule of thumb). You can do this while holding a full-time job. Don't build something you think people want; build something you know they want. As PG says, do things that don't scale. That's how you learn what your customers want. When you run out of time in the day to keep up with the unscalable work, considering what "big wins" will help free your time up to do more unscalable work.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#79

Post by ZoF » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:37 AM UTC

insuffi wrote: post #52

looser wrote: post #42

I often hear people say: Get a 9 to 5 job... But a job probably will not teach you much about business. I have a different advice that will give you two important lessons at the same time: "Sell something, as soon as possible." If you have a product that you can build quickly. Build it and sell it, ASAP. If you don't have a product... Good. Use the money you have and buy some product that you can sell for more... Rep…

2 counterpoints: 1) Lack of liquidity in "selling products". 2) Personal cash flow issues.

Selling software doesn't have either of these issues.

Re: Ask HN: I can't do this anymore, I need help

#80

Post by corkill » Mon, Mar 31, 2014, 7:42 AM UTC

You don't need more ideas, you've had plenty of those. You need to learn how to get a customer and solve their problems.

Money is abundant if you are solving people's problems so you need to start doing that. Read lean startup as well but most importantly start talking to potential customers every single day and STOP generating ideas, lets customers do that.

Watch this video to see why an idea is worthless http://thefoundation.com/

If you want to take your GF travelling then do it. Sounds like you need the break as well. Read http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/ and leave next month, get a job overseas, do freelancing etc. Stop worrying about money and live.

The job route is also good but only if it will be directly teaching you skills that will further your goals, if your not learning then don't waste time on it.