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How to Pick a Mate (1946)

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Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#71

Post by jjkeddo199 »

judge2020 wrote: post #39
Veraticus wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately this was probably pretty close to reality for most women in the timeframe that this author was writing this in.

Yes, given the author says this: > A basic argument for marriage is that it offers a logical division of labor. Imagine how much more complicated and inconvenient life would be if men had to do their own cooking and sewing, and women—all women—had to compete with men for a livelihood! Of course, since '46 capitalism has demanded women enter the workforce to compete with men and drive down wages.

The real sexism against women is the failure to treat motherhood as less valuable/noble than a 9/5 office career. Motherhood, collectively, is the most important job in the world.

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#72

Post by auveair »

chongli wrote: post #63
readthenotes1 wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Gay marriage wasn't legal back then

Only about 2-3% of men report being gay in western countries today. “Over ten percent” is a much larger number.

You can also be Bi, Pansexual, Asexual, Queer, etc

> "In 2021, Ipsos interviewed people in 27 countries spanning all continents on their sexual orientation and gender identity. For some countries the samples were weighed for representativity, but in others with less internet access, they skewed more urban. In this survey, 80% of people worldwide identified as heterosexual, 3% as homosexual, 4% as bisexual, and 1% each as pansexual, asexual, and other. Results indicated that significant differences in sexual identity have emerged between generations across the globe, with the youngest group, or Generation Z, being more likely to identify as bisexual (9%) than Millennials (4%), Generation X (3%) and Boomers (2%). Generation Z and Millennials were also more likely to identify as homosexual, with 4% and 3% doing so respectively, compared to 2% of Generation X and 1% of Boomers."

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#73

Post by matheusmoreira »

coding123 wrote: post #11

I thought this was interesting: People Who Should Not Marry at All Qualifications for Marriage Percentage Voting for Them Freedom from venereal disease 100% Freedom from feeble-mindedness (If sterilized, 24% would permit marriage) 99% Freedom from insanity 97% Freedom from criminality 94% Freedom from dipsomania 91% Freedom from drug addiction 85% Freedom from neuroticism 76% Proof by groom that he can support bride…

$150 USD/1946 is about $2,340 USD/2023. Interesting.

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#74

Post by Minor49er »

Aachen wrote: post #38
aaronscott wrote: post #16

I was curious for a summary of what the book suggested. Here is Kagi’s summarizer: - Emotional maturity and stability are key traits for a happy marriage. People who are well-adjusted, have good self-confidence, and can handle problems well tend to have more successful marriages. - Communication and companionship are vital for a happy marriage. Couples need to develop a strong bond through sharing interests, aspirati…

Non-native speaker here. Is there a ranking to "key", "vital", "crucial", and "important", or should I read these as being equivalently important? I'm taking the latter as lesser than the former three, though that also depends on what Kagi is I suppose.

I would suggest plugging words that you are curious about into a thesaurus, then looking up the definitions of each of the entries that you find in a dictionary to further your understanding

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#75

Post by miahwilde »

Aachen wrote: post #38
aaronscott wrote: post #16

I was curious for a summary of what the book suggested. Here is Kagi’s summarizer: - Emotional maturity and stability are key traits for a happy marriage. People who are well-adjusted, have good self-confidence, and can handle problems well tend to have more successful marriages. - Communication and companionship are vital for a happy marriage. Couples need to develop a strong bond through sharing interests, aspirati…

Non-native speaker here. Is there a ranking to "key", "vital", "crucial", and "important", or should I read these as being equivalently important? I'm taking the latter as lesser than the former three, though that also depends on what Kagi is I suppose.

- "Vital" and "crucial" both indicate a required element.

- "Key" and "important" both indicate notable elements.

- "Key" can also be used to indicate a required element, i.e. "keystone", however it is not always used in this way.

- "Key" can also be used to indicate "there is only one" though it is not always used in this way.

When "key" is meant as "singular & required & notable" it probably carries the most weight of all these words. However, since it is not always used in that way, I personally tend to give it less weight.

In casual use I would order them like this (strongest to weakest): crucial, vital, key, important.

In formal use I would order them like this (strongest to weakest): key, vital, crucial, important.

My favorite thesaurus, ChatGPT, agrees with my casual use ranking. https://chat.openai.com/share/10bb8195-c7cd-4c0c-935f-f5b4c3...

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#76

Post by bell-cot »

triceratops wrote: post #35
Xeoncross wrote: post #3

> There are still other people who don’t marry because they lack a decent opportunity. Girls who choose nursing as a career, for example, cut their marriage prospects at least fifty per cent. It is much the same for librarians and social workers. In fact a girl can reduce her chances of marriage merely by going to a girls’ college. you have been warned /s

It's just as true for the opposite sex. Just that there aren't really any men-only colleges.

Back in the day, there certainly were plenty of men-only colleges. Or close enough.

The US Navy Academy first admitted a woman in 1976.

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#77

Post by chongli »

auveair wrote: post #72
chongli wrote: post #63

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Only about 2-3% of men report being gay in western countries today. “Over ten percent” is a much larger number.

You can also be Bi, Pansexual, Asexual, Queer, etc > "In 2021, Ipsos interviewed people in 27 countries spanning all continents on their sexual orientation and gender identity. For some countries the samples were weighed for representativity, but in others with less internet access, they skewed more urban. In this survey, 80% of people worldwide identified as heterosexual, 3% as homosexual, 4% as bisexual, and 1% eac…

Bi, Pansexual, Asexual, Queer

Sure, but then it may be less likely for those who do to "prefer to remain a bachelor." Heck, it was not uncommon even for gay men to get married back then.

My point is: we shouldn't assume that the only reason for men to "prefer to remain a bachelor" is their sexuality and in so doing assume all of those 10% of men are LGBTQ+.

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#78

Post by welshwelsh »

HeyLaughingBoy wrote: post #30
langitbiru wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because picking a good marriage partner is ableist. That's why it's controversial. For example, people prefer good looking people as marriage partners. That makes people who are not good looking sad. And you can imagine for other traits like income, age, height, social status.

I'm going to assume that you believe that there is only one standard for "good looking people" and that everyone conforms to it?

What "good looking" means might vary somewhat from person to person, but it's not completely subjective. Some people look better than others, which makes them more desirable partners in general.

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#79

Post by Veraticus »

jjkeddo199 wrote: post #71
judge2020 wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, given the author says this: > A basic argument for marriage is that it offers a logical division of labor. Imagine how much more complicated and inconvenient life would be if men had to do their own cooking and sewing, and women—all women—had to compete with men for a livelihood! Of course, since '46 capitalism has demanded women enter the workforce to compete with men and drive down wages.

The real sexism against women is the failure to treat motherhood as less valuable/noble than a 9/5 office career. Motherhood, collectively, is the most important job in the world.

Isn't the real sexism against women still ... sexism?

If a woman wants to be a mother or wants a successful career, that's the most valuable/noble job in the world to that woman.

Re: How to Pick a Mate (1946)

#80

Post by Brighthurst »

Aachen wrote: post #38
aaronscott wrote: post #16

I was curious for a summary of what the book suggested. Here is Kagi’s summarizer: - Emotional maturity and stability are key traits for a happy marriage. People who are well-adjusted, have good self-confidence, and can handle problems well tend to have more successful marriages. - Communication and companionship are vital for a happy marriage. Couples need to develop a strong bond through sharing interests, aspirati…

Non-native speaker here. Is there a ranking to "key", "vital", "crucial", and "important", or should I read these as being equivalently important? I'm taking the latter as lesser than the former three, though that also depends on what Kagi is I suppose.

As a pedantic native speaker, I'd like to describe the different interpretations I have for these words. Hopefully this explanation illustrates the differences in a more useful way to you than simple ordering. I am not saying that this is exactly what the summary meant for these words, I'm just adding more context:

- Important: Describes that something has high priority, in a general sense. Very broad. Can replace any of the other terms, but is less precise.

- Key: Important in a utilitarian sense. Just like a literal key, using "key" here implies that something is an essential part of a solution to a problem/issue.

- Vital: Important in an ongoing sense. Think of "vitality"," the capacity to live, grow, or develop. We should use "vital" when we mean something is important to do as a habit, to maintain the strength of something.

- Crucial: Another term that is general. Basically "important" but with higher priority. It implies that there is some urgency, gravity, or necessity to whatever is crucial or the matter to which whatever is crucial.

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