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Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

bloombergquint.com

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Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#71

Post by alistairSH »

bunderbunder wrote: post #35
jandrese wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The bottom of the article says that they are also getting married less. Basically, back when the Baby Boomers were young it was a major source of shame to have sex outside of marriage for a lot of people, so they got married early and then discovered that it wasn't a good match. Lucky for them the divorce option was available at least. These days kids are much more free to experiment before they tie the knot and aren…

> The downside is that when they do have kids outside of marriage it's a worse situation as the families are less stable without the institution holding them together. There's an unstated major premise here - that any "two parents cohabitating" family, even an unhappy one, is better than a single-parent or separated-parents family. Is that true?

I don't actually have an answer, but I wonder if it's something in the middle...

No, two unhappy parents cohabitation (married or not) is not ideal. No, a single parent is not ideal. But, a single parent who bounces in and out of relationships every few years is worse than either of the above.

That instability is worse for the child than the other options.

Just a thought, nothing to back it up one way or the other.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#72

Post by Nasrudith »

bunderbunder wrote: post #35
jandrese wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The bottom of the article says that they are also getting married less. Basically, back when the Baby Boomers were young it was a major source of shame to have sex outside of marriage for a lot of people, so they got married early and then discovered that it wasn't a good match. Lucky for them the divorce option was available at least. These days kids are much more free to experiment before they tie the knot and aren…

> The downside is that when they do have kids outside of marriage it's a worse situation as the families are less stable without the institution holding them together. There's an unstated major premise here - that any "two parents cohabitating" family, even an unhappy one, is better than a single-parent or separated-parents family. Is that true?

I somehow recall that was already proven as not worse in studies of children from divorced households (might have been largely equitable custody) vs nondiviorced that the answer is no even without extremes like domestic violence being involved. There are extra expenses and difficulties involved in separate situations technically but the alternative may be worse. Two separate remarried families wouldn't even suffer from the resource loss and lack of support structure assuming both have healthier relationships.

The rhetoric seems to be spread more from a mix of traditionalism and insecurity about being dumped or stuck in an unhappy marriage than solid facts.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#74

Post by Zimahl »

yters wrote: post #39
sidstling wrote: post #9

I wonder how much cost plays in, I mean, my fiancée and I are adult middle class millennials and we’ve been saving for two years to have a wedding, and we’re planning a relatively cheap one.

My parents got married in a friend's house and they had the reception in the backyard with friends playing music. I think the wedding cost like $100 or something. Unclear why modern weddings have to be so expensive. Mine definitely was overpriced.

Weddings became a market to manipulate just like any other. From the rings to the honeymoon, everything has been commoditized, including an entire industry that perpetuates the 'ideal' (magazines, pinterest, etc.).

What used to be private, family-only affairs has now morphed into a 'need' to invite 200 or so people you don't know and feed them so they give you gifts.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#75

Post by odyssey7 »

Millennials are forced to be more careful, because they're climbing a difficult and important ladder into financial security. Most people I know who aren't looking to marry are just very aware that this is not the right time for them, neither finically nor in relation to achieving their professional goals.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#76

Post by scythe »

JadeNB wrote: post #45
dsfyu404ed wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or you could take a more cynical view: Women that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s aren't really thrilled with their dating prospects when they're fast approaching 40 and have a kid. Men that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s don't like the idea of living in a crappy apartment, driving a 15yo Civic and eating rice and beans well into their 50s because they're getting bent over for c…

> Women that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s don't really have great dating prospects when they're fast approaching 40 and have a kid. Is there any need to gender that statement? It seems just as true of men as of women. With the possible exception of differing child-support rates in the sexes (for which I have not bothered to gather any data), probably even the same is true of: > Men that marry in…

Men typically don't take custody (IIRC, they often don't even ask). So he assumed the children would stay with the woman, and be a drag on her dating life, while the man would pay child support. It doesn't have to be this way, but it usually is.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#77

Post by kaitai »

JadeNB wrote: post #45
dsfyu404ed wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or you could take a more cynical view: Women that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s aren't really thrilled with their dating prospects when they're fast approaching 40 and have a kid. Men that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s don't like the idea of living in a crappy apartment, driving a 15yo Civic and eating rice and beans well into their 50s because they're getting bent over for c…

> Women that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s don't really have great dating prospects when they're fast approaching 40 and have a kid. Is there any need to gender that statement? It seems just as true of men as of women. With the possible exception of differing child-support rates in the sexes (for which I have not bothered to gather any data), probably even the same is true of: > Men that marry in…

Child support payments are not the cause of women's financial woes after divorce, but you can absolutely look at the same general sentence: "Women that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s don't like the idea of living in a crappy apartment, driving a 15yo Civic and eating rice and beans well into their 50s because they're getting bent over for" being women who had kids, often put their careers on the back burner, often were not aware of financial decision-making within the marriage, & got divorced without the ability to make as much money.

Yeah, it's complicated; you can see one paper here [1] that quantifies the post-divorce earnings gap. It is improving. Anyhow, divorce is a ludicrously bad economic decision for many women. Don't know if that's a factor in the changing rate.

[1] https://www.iser.essex.ac.uk/files/iser_working_papers/2008-... A more recent book: https://press.princeton.edu/titles/7519.html There's a chapter on divorce & child support. Gets pretty mathy. An interesting survey from UBS (the numbers are buried) about female abdication of financial decision-making responsibility in marriages: https://www.ubs.com/content/dam/WealthManagementAmericas/doc...

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#79

Post by kodablah »

nimbius wrote: post #38

speaking as a millennial there is a big reason Marriage is overtaking divorce. Health insurance. Most of us dont have jobs that afford us competent healthcare. Seriously, thank the gig economy. Affordable Care Act providers either do not exist in some states or are overpriced/worthless for what they do cover. There are still roughly 25 states that have not expanded medicare either. Getting married is a quick and simp…

I'm not sure. This is at odds w/ some parts of the article near the end claiming marriage as a status symbol, specifically:

> Fewer people are getting married [...] Many poorer and less educated Americans are opting not to get married at all

Granted the article is not necessarily any more accurate. My pet theory is lack of societal compulsion.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#80

Post by kaitai »

sandworm101 wrote: post #33
jandrese wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The wedding industry is a giant racket. It's so hard not to get ripped off when trying to plan for a wedding.

The real racket isn't in ripping people off for services, but that everyone needs these services. Weddings used to be relatively private affairs. Costs were far less. Churches provided services to parishioners and associated gatherings were at family houses. Today we are expected to purchase everything. Take wedding dresses. They were not always white. Brides bought expensive dresses, but they would expect to use the…

One secret to getting lower prices is occasionally fibbing about the purpose or just not mentioning it. Tell the baker you need a beautiful... anniversary cake, or retirement cake, and stick the plastic people on top yourself. Immediately cheaper! Same with flowers -- you need a bouquet for... something else. Ok, not sure what. Renting a reception hall for a retirement party is cheaper than renting the same space for a wedding.

Of course, some people enjoy the ritual of the cake tasting and decoration decisions and etc.

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