Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet • Hacker News Board

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#41

Post by jandrese » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 5:54 PM UTC

sandworm101 wrote: post #33

jandrese wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The wedding industry is a giant racket. It's so hard not to get ripped off when trying to plan for a wedding.

The real racket isn't in ripping people off for services, but that everyone needs these services. Weddings used to be relatively private affairs. Costs were far less. Churches provided services to parishioners and associated gatherings were at family houses. Today we are expected to purchase everything. Take wedding dresses. They were not always white. Brides bought expensive dresses, but they would expect to use the…

That and there is a huge marketing effort aimed at girls of all ages telling them what a "dream wedding" should look like, and it's not a bunch of lawn chairs in your back yard and a potluck. They're also constantly reminded that the wedding is their day, nobody else should be telling them what it should look like.

The one good thing is that when people get divorced and remarried the second wedding is almost always a much smaller and more intimate affair. Nothing breaks the spell like living through planning and executing a "dream wedding".

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#42

Post by jtbayly » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 5:56 PM UTC

noncoml wrote: post #6

It's easier to get divorced if you already own two houses, and can afford to pay alimony with your big fat salary Edit: s/married/divorced

you mean divorced?

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#43

Post by rossdavidh » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 5:57 PM UTC

Two things I would have liked to see: 1) is this just the U.S.? The Baby Boom happened in many nations, as did an increase in divorce at about the same time, how do their divorce rates compare? 2) couldn't one say equally well "the Baby Boom-fueled divorce explosion continues to recede"? This might not be about Millenials at all, but rather about the Baby Boom generation.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#44

Post by pastor_elm » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 5:57 PM UTC

thaumasiotes wrote: post #27

sidstling wrote: post #9

I wonder how much cost plays in, I mean, my fiancée and I are adult middle class millennials and we’ve been saving for two years to have a wedding, and we’re planning a relatively cheap one.

> we’ve been saving for two years to have a wedding, and we’re planning a relatively cheap one The second part here is in conflict with the first part...

An upper middle-class wedding on the coasts at any venue goes for a minimum of 30k. A really cheap wedding is just having in your back yard with a keg, but I don't think the OP is talking about that. A nice wedding with all your college buddies, looking at 100k.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#45

Post by JadeNB » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 5:57 PM UTC

dsfyu404ed wrote: post #36

specialp wrote: post #13

It might be because people are getting married and having children later. I find that most people that I know that had parents that got divorced, it happened when their kids were in their mid to late teens. People now getting married at older ages and having kids later might get divorced now outside the 45 year old window.

Or you could take a more cynical view: Women that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s aren't really thrilled with their dating prospects when they're fast approaching 40 and have a kid. Men that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s don't like the idea of living in a crappy apartment, driving a 15yo Civic and eating rice and beans well into their 50s because they're getting bent over for c…

> Women that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s don't really have great dating prospects when they're fast approaching 40 and have a kid.

Is there any need to gender that statement? It seems just as true of men as of women. With the possible exception of differing child-support rates in the sexes (for which I have not bothered to gather any data), probably even the same is true of:

> Men that marry in their late 20s and have kids in their 30s don't like the idea of living in a crappy apartment, driving a 15yo Civic and eating rice and beans well into their 50s because they're getting bent over for child support.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#46

Post by martin1975 » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 5:58 PM UTC

kidsnow wrote: post #15

52-6F-62 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A good friend of mine is getting divorced soon as well. Another old friend recently divorced. My current relationship has outlasted almost everyone I know. We're not married. I have no explanation for any of it.

It's because you don't take it for granted, so you probably work harder at it. There was a couple once that would get together every Thursday or something and see if they wanted to continue another week. I think they did this for like 45 years.

do that in a state like California, and you are considered married, regardless of a piece of paper being signed or not.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#47

Post by kolderman » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 5:59 PM UTC

Isn't a millennial getting married today only 18 years old? A career established person might have been born in 1980 or earlier.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#48

Post by rhacker » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 5:59 PM UTC

Jyaif wrote: post #18

The 2nd graph shows that the article is complete BS.

Downvoting because you didn't back that up. I think moreso the article's content is complete BS whereas that graph is probably based on actual factual data - which actually does not align with the content of the article at all.

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#49

Post by malyk » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 6:00 PM UTC

sidstling wrote: post #9

I wonder how much cost plays in, I mean, my fiancée and I are adult middle class millennials and we’ve been saving for two years to have a wedding, and we’re planning a relatively cheap one.

My wife and I had an amazing wedding for $5000. Certainly that isn’t necessarily an easy amount to save for everyone, but a wedding is one (or so) day(s) in a lifetime. Don’t spend much on it. Use your savings for longer term and more impactful things (down payment on a house or car, college education, retirement, etc)

Re: Millennials Are Causing the U.S. Divorce Rate to Plummet

#50

Post by JadeNB » Tue, Sep 25, 2018, 6:00 PM UTC

sandworm101 wrote: post #33

jandrese wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The wedding industry is a giant racket. It's so hard not to get ripped off when trying to plan for a wedding.

The real racket isn't in ripping people off for services, but that everyone needs these services. Weddings used to be relatively private affairs. Costs were far less. Churches provided services to parishioners and associated gatherings were at family houses. Today we are expected to purchase everything. Take wedding dresses. They were not always white. Brides bought expensive dresses, but they would expect to use the…

> The real racket isn't in ripping people off for services, but that everyone needs these services. Weddings used to be relatively private affairs. Costs were far less. Churches provided services to parishioners and associated gatherings were at family houses. Today we are expected to purchase everything.

I disagree that everyone needs these services, only that, as you say, many people expect to provide (or that their marrying friends will provide) these services. Weddings still can be private affairs, and associated gatherings can still be at family houses. (The bit about churches is outside an individual's control, I agree.) As yters commented (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18068728), some people's weddings are still quite affordable.