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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#621

Post by pmc3 »

BurningFrog wrote: post #190
pmc3 wrote: post #158

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not only are they legal, many male only city clubs exist today! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_gentlemen%27s_clubs_in... Male-only country clubs also exist although are slightly more controversial and less common, such as Burning Tree, Garden City, Butler National, Augusta National (until the last ~10 years), Pine Valley (until the last few years). The unfortunate reality for most of us is that these places ar…

Maybe it's time start new and less desirable clubs for the common man.

A lot of new clubs are currently being founded in NYC and London in particular.

They're expensive to run, so they often target a wealthier demographic who can pay.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#622

Post by johnny22 »

Moomoomoo309 wrote: post #479
SiempreViernes wrote: post #397

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Funny, because the traditional role of a women is exactly to be the one who hears all these hard things and helps the man overcome them. Extra funny hat women should be excluded so men can talk about feeling lonely and how they wish they had a woman.

It only takes one time: a woman who sees a man as less than for admitting his weakness makes him never talk about that stuff around women again. Unfortunately, there are many women who react this way, so the cycle continues. I don't necessarily blame women for this, it's more about the social expectations for men, the moment they violate that expectation and are "punished" for it, they follow it to the letter, becaus…

find different women. Obviously many woman would have similar social expectations due to the way things have shook out.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#623

Post by subscribed »

thfuran wrote: post #459
jajko wrote: post #402

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Women tend to behave very differently in all-female group compared to when even a single man is present. And if that man is charismatic or handsome its completely different dynamics and resulting behavior again. Never thought about it myself but one female friend mentioned this once (how toxic their work environment becomes when there is no man), so started noticing it around. As a married man I can understand these…

You're more open and honest with any man than with your wife?

I'm more open with many men than my wife, who famously laughed reminiscing on one of her exes who opened up to her and cried.

I've yet to see the clam closing up than I did on the day. Sadly it happened way too late for some things.

So yeah, don't be vulnerable around women. That's the warning my wife gave me.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#624

Post by johnny22 »

jajko wrote: post #402
immibis wrote: post #289

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why does the presence of women cause men to not have male friends?

Women tend to behave very differently in all-female group compared to when even a single man is present. And if that man is charismatic or handsome its completely different dynamics and resulting behavior again. Never thought about it myself but one female friend mentioned this once (how toxic their work environment becomes when there is no man), so started noticing it around. As a married man I can understand these…

> A man is never so relaxed, open and honest as when with other men, only men.

That's not been the the case in my experience, as a man.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#625

Post by johnny22 »

ReptileMan wrote: post #456
rxtexit wrote: post #449

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, it basically changes to men complaining about women. The people with a good sex life end up becoming therapists for the group. Mixed groups on the other hand turn into a soap opera. What is needed is a strong common interest that binds the group beyond these tendencies to stave off the soap opera entropy. The soap opera entropy will always increase with time though until the group dissolves. It is still more sta…

>Yes, it basically changes to men complaining about women. The people with a good sex life end up becoming therapists for the group. Just not true. Men only groups are rarely misogynist, more often they are homophobic in the sense that everyone is trying to imply that everyone else is secretly gay. There is also various forms of dick measuring contests - who can grill better, who caught bigger fish and so on. Also fo…

> There is also various forms of dick measuring contests - who can grill better, who caught bigger fish and so on. Also for hobbies. And a lot of stories. You have no idea the acts of bravery worthy of medal of honor you will hear.

This is exactly what I do not want to be part of.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#626

Post by meheleventyone »

_DeadFred_ wrote: post #619
iteria wrote: post #603

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Okay. Let's say everything you said was true. Why is it acceptable for white men to say, "hey, I'm being discriminated against, I would like to oppress everyone else so I can feel better" instead of what historically oppressed minorities do which is advocate for the better of their demographic even in the face of opposition. This difference in action is why I think that people have a hard time having empathy. These s…

Because the response they are receiving when they 'advocate for the better of their demographic (and the type of response that is turning them sour/disillusioned) is: "Let's say everything you said was true" - iteria (needlessly implying it's a lie/not happening) "someone is providing an easy scapegoat for their own problems" - tayo42 (implying what they are experience/feeling isn't real/valid. This takes some tempor…

I can have a lot of empathy for someone who had explicit promises broken but apart from this sounding like a completely made up story it has no bearing on his skin color or sex. People are taken advantage of all the time and promises, even contracts are broken all the time. Your 'son' has taken the route of victimization rather than taking the high road. Getting screwed over is one thing, turning that in to bigotry is quite another. Like even if you were screwed over BY bigots its not a reason to become one.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#627

Post by meheleventyone »

potato3732842 wrote: post #430
kgwxd wrote: post #406

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Surely you see the irony in advocating for "just man up and comply"? Imagine how this comment would come across if applied along any other demographic axis.

I can't imagine many other demographics saying they need a safe space to be offensive to the other axis.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#628

Post by steveBK123 »

tropdrop wrote: post #620
steveBK123 wrote: post #519

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's more cultural than walkability. I've lived about 20 years in NYC but now spend months at a time outside the city as well. In the US, in VHCOL places like NYC filled with upper middle class striver / PMC types.. everything is so fleeting & ephemeral you just don't have "regulars". You just feel anonymous. Everything is moving/changing all the time, expectations and trust are low. There is a lot of classism. I liv…

Backing up a sister comment on this thread: I've lived in SF and Chicago, both also as walkable as it gets for the US, and in both had relationships as a "regular," whether at a corner store, cafe, or the grocer. I remember our Albanian corner store guy in particular, who would comment on me gaining or losing weight. Our neighborhoods felt like a small town where we all knew each other (including the homeless!). I li…

Brooklyn the same as Manhattan though.

I think I'm just pointing out the urbanist utopia walkable American city NYC kind of already fails the claim.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#629

Post by meheleventyone »

_DeadFred_ wrote: post #571
UncleMeat wrote: post #518

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The "separate graduation ceremonies" were not that. A group of people from a black student group celebrating is not the same as separate graduation ceremonies. These kids also attended to the main ceremony. I'm visibly jewish and have been attending pride events and lgbt activist events for ages. I've never even heard of what you describe.

Dyke March New York City has banned Zionists this year. Organizers can’t agree on what that means. https://19thnews.org/2025/05/dyke-march-2025-new-york-city-z...

Far from being hard to understand Zionists in this sense is not all Jews but those that support the actions of Israel in the latest conflict because of the impact on the Palestinian civilian population. I agree there is a lot of equivocation in that article though but it mostly seems to be from people that wish to soft-soap the on-going war crimes Israel is committing rather than anyone genuinely being confused by the term. Basically one side is saying 'hey we don't want people that in our eyes support genocide taking part' and the other side is ignoring that and saying 'uWu we just want a Jewish state to exists but don't look at what the only extant state is actually doing'.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#630

Post by nucleardog »

ryandrake wrote: post #611
jaredklewis wrote: post #606

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ok, but it still seems to be quite rare? I don’t live in the woods or anything and I’ve never been the victim of a “gotcha.” I’ve definitely offended people on various occasions (which I mostly felt bad about), but none of those people ever felt so strongly they tried to ruin my life over it. Nor have I ever known anyone that was “gotcha”-ed as you described. I unfortunately have known people that have died in car cr…

I think the "They might 'gotcha' me and then cancel me as a [racist/sexist/bigot/etc]" fear is overblown and comes mostly from people chronically online and people who care what randos on Twitter write. Yes, the Internet is full of keyboard warriors just waiting to catch you saying something they can twist into some -ism, but these people don't exist in real life, or at least they keep their opinions to themselves in…

> I think the "They might 'gotcha' me and then cancel me as a [racist/sexist/bigot/etc]" fear is overblown

Even if someone films you saying something, unless it's something that's offensive to enough people for it getting out to actually impact your life... what are they going to do with it? Real life is not infested by these hyper-politically-correct boogeymen people seem to fear. Nobody really cares.

Don't go around saying stuff that would disgust your grandma/boss/etc in such a way that they'd feel the need to distance themselves from you, and what power does anyone really hold here?

The only way I can really take this as a legitimate worry is someone asking for a space where they can say overtly [racist/sexist/bigoted/etc] things without consequence in which case... yeah, there might be consequences. But then at least be honest and just say "I want to start a racism club." instead of trying to convince us all the boogeyman is real.

And hell, even if someone catches you calling an autistic 5 year old black kid racist names... just start a GiveSendGo and apparently people will just give you almost a million dollars for your trouble.

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