Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows • Hacker News Board

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#621

Post by michaelmrose » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 2:00 AM UTC

seppel wrote: post #590

michaelmrose wrote: post #515

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It disproportionately effects men because it's much more acceptable for a lower status women who is at least somewhat physically attractive to set up shop in a higher status man's life than vice versa. Furthermore men value youth far more than women do so a only moderately physically gifted 20 year old might be valued over her counterpart a dozen years older and twice as well off herself. Young poor females are in a…

> It disproportionately effects men because it's much more acceptable for a lower status women who is at least somewhat physically attractive to set up shop in a higher status man's life than vice versa. But it doesnt add up. Given that most relations are monogamous, both have as much sex as the other in a relation. So you either need a very high relationship turnover rate or sex outside of the relation to have this…

Incomplete data doesn't need to line up especially when that data never supported 80% of men chasing 20% of the women in the first place. It supported 33% of young men being abstinent and a lesser number of females which is perfectly reasonably congruent with women getting involved with the remaining 67% of younger men and older men.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#622

Post by michaelmrose » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 2:02 AM UTC

onetimeusename wrote: post #524

michaelmrose wrote: post #515

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It disproportionately effects men because it's much more acceptable for a lower status women who is at least somewhat physically attractive to set up shop in a higher status man's life than vice versa. Furthermore men value youth far more than women do so a only moderately physically gifted 20 year old might be valued over her counterpart a dozen years older and twice as well off herself. Young poor females are in a…

No, for the record I didn't use any judgement. I also didn't say that men didn't have preferences either. I don't think there is any disagreement so the word 'hypergamy' shouldn't be a dirty word. However, I think the people expressing concern about female hypergamy are saying the same thing you are but that for men they might have broader taste and for women more narrow and that may lead to situations where vast swa…

Men with no money are undatable. Inequality leads to a much larger share of people whose financial resources are woeful.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#623

Post by michaelmrose » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 2:25 AM UTC

onetimeusename wrote: post #524

michaelmrose wrote: post #515

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It disproportionately effects men because it's much more acceptable for a lower status women who is at least somewhat physically attractive to set up shop in a higher status man's life than vice versa. Furthermore men value youth far more than women do so a only moderately physically gifted 20 year old might be valued over her counterpart a dozen years older and twice as well off herself. Young poor females are in a…

No, for the record I didn't use any judgement. I also didn't say that men didn't have preferences either. I don't think there is any disagreement so the word 'hypergamy' shouldn't be a dirty word. However, I think the people expressing concern about female hypergamy are saying the same thing you are but that for men they might have broader taste and for women more narrow and that may lead to situations where vast swa…

Lets see how people use the term starting with websters and moving on.

Definition of hypergamy

: marriage into an equal or higher caste or social group

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hypergamy

Here is how people actually use it online

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hypergamy

> The tendency for women to deceive men and leech money and resources off them.

> An evolutionary psychology theory that beta males and feminists refuse to look at or even acknowledge exists. They will usually blame the MGTOW and MRA community for making it up, but that just shows their lack of research, even though these same groups will tell their detractors and opponents to "do your own research" or "educate yourself". The theory itself is the study that women seek higher status men and men with more resources to give her seed to the best possible mate. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, but left unchecked can cause societal problems.

> Evolutionary Psychology theory on the instinctual desire of humans of the female sex to discard a current mate when the opportunity arises to latch onto a subsequent mate of higher status due to the hindbrain impetus to find a male with the best ability to provide for her OWN offspring (already spawned or yet-to-be spawned) regardless of investments and commitments made to a current mate.

If good looking poor chicks and middle income+ chicks of all degrees of attractiveness want middle income+ men with acceptable social skills then poor men or people with bad hygiene, and or social skills will be left with the poor and unattractive portion of that Venn diagram.

Whats more the intersection of physically unappealing and poor is a much smaller group than JUST poor which is HUGE so not all of them will likely find mates.

If you want to bring up why don't the poor but reasonably attractive dudes just interact with the more financially well off females this certainly happens but it is a MUCH less successful strategy for a man.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#624

Post by selimthegrim » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 2:37 AM UTC

downerending wrote: post #610

luckylion wrote: post #415

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given that apparently quite a few men have an issue if their wife makes more money than them, probably. Being a provider is generally valued by men, being a romantic fallback not so much.

I've never heard of a man having an issue with a wife that makes more.

It's usually not the man that has the issue in that case...

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#625

Post by fdsgnr0g90n0fw » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 3:03 AM UTC

klipt wrote: post #568

fdsgnr0g90n0fw wrote: post #448

Earlier quoted context omitted.

At the risk of sounding cold... anything that causes the mortality rate of men in this high risk category to rise significantly would likely reduce the overall problem. For example, making the choice of suicide readily available for young men that face poo life prospects, and the choice of ending your own life for the better of society a virtue, perhaps even heroic. Whether enough people would see such a thing as acc…

Why would anyone want to raise a son in a society like that?

I don't imagine that it would be drastically different then raising a son today and here; the odds would still be excellent for a son to grow up an be successful.

Mind if I ask what you had in mind to make you think that such a situation would dissuade someone from raising a son?

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#626

Post by mD5pPxMcS6fVWKE » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 3:45 AM UTC

eloff wrote: post #309

codingslave wrote: post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"I wonder what the societal implications are for having a majority of young men be very undesirable and a majority of women start on top of the world at 18 and steadily fall down from there and have to settle. It doesn't seem to be good for either gender." I dont think we have seen the full impact of this yet. Online dating has been a major catalyst and made things alot worse. I think we are still 10-15, maybe 20 yea…

I think we've been seeing it in small doses so far. There was always this effect with the top % of men at the bar or club. But now online dating has exaggerated this to previously unknown extremes. So maybe the effect won't be totally unknown, just a continuation of current trends - like later marriages, less children, and higher divorce rates.

I frequent bars and frankly don't see it in practice ... if a girl wants only top 10% of guys, there is 90% chance she will go home alone. She didn't dress up and spent money for that sad outcome. So most men who approach women, get theirs.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#627

Post by mD5pPxMcS6fVWKE » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 4:12 AM UTC

tonystubblebine wrote: post #234

malcolmgreaves wrote: post #112

A lot of guys are complaining in the thread, with undertones of an expectation of sex Most likely reason I see that would cause this data: the immense social pressure applied to straight women has lessened in the 21st century. A straight woman won't be ostricized at 25 if they don't "have a man." The data suggests that young straight men aren't having as much sex. I postulate that the only reason is that straight men…

I'm liking where Malcolm is going. So much of the talk in this thread is defeatist, like if some other guy has you beat in terms of wealth or looks then you have no chance. But that way of thinking makes it really hard to solve the problem for yourself if that's what you're interested in. So as I read your note, empowered straight women have some basic standards and they are finding that they have more freedom finall…

The standards are not "basic", they are very high. All men can't be in top 20%. No matter how hard they try, 80% of men will never achieve that standard. So something should be done with them, maybe castration, or culling.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#628

Post by mD5pPxMcS6fVWKE » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 4:15 AM UTC

bjl wrote: post #232

thewarrior wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But the data also shows that for women the figure is unchanged.

Because the men that are willing to put in the effort are still having sex. Its not hard for a man to become attractive: eat right, exercise often, groom regularly, dress well, develop a compelling personality, cultivate relationships with interesting people. The fact that people who don't even try aren't able to have sex doesn't seem surprising (or bad).

You forgot: those bastards don't even try to become taller.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#629

Post by mydongle » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 4:29 AM UTC

bjl wrote: post #232

thewarrior wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But the data also shows that for women the figure is unchanged.

Because the men that are willing to put in the effort are still having sex. Its not hard for a man to become attractive: eat right, exercise often, groom regularly, dress well, develop a compelling personality, cultivate relationships with interesting people. The fact that people who don't even try aren't able to have sex doesn't seem surprising (or bad).

It's not hard? Most of the things you list are things that a lot of people, no matter what gender or background, struggle with. The imbalance in the dating game comes from the fact that men are way more willing to accept a girl below their level. Not to mention all it takes is some makeup and complementary clothing to turn a 5/10 girl into a 7/10 or better who can start pulling guys way above her weight. Girls are taught not to settle. Rightfully so. I wish guys were taught the same. Then maybe things would be slightly different.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#630

Post by 88840-8855 » Sat, Jun 13, 2020, 4:35 AM UTC

rasz wrote: post #582

88840-8855 wrote: post #266

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My best female friend is ugly. She is writing to model-like guys on instagram, visiting them and is having sex with them. EVERY SINGLE TIME they never text her back, she still falls in love with them and is heart-broken for 2-3 weeks. This has become already pathological. She has done therapy and still falls into depression again. The only thing she can do: find hot 10/10 model guys that jet around the world for thei…

Let me guess, if only she could see past the physical attributes, and notice what a treasure you are ....

No, I have a great gf and I see my friend only as a friend.