Why is it hard to make friends over 30? (2012)

Post by DenisM » Wed, Feb 21, 2018, 4:47 PM UTC

leetcrew wrote: post #587

DenisM wrote: post #405

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This looks like depression. See a shrink.

therapists/psychiatrists can't really "cure" depression in most cases; they can only blunt some of the worst symptoms with drugs or teach coping skills. this often plays out over the course of years. in the mean time, depressed people might want to make friendships that they can realistically maintain. this probably does not include friendships that depend on mutual participation in activities for which the person ha…

Post by nitrogen » Wed, Feb 21, 2018, 5:00 PM UTC

infinite8s wrote: post #382

nitrogen wrote: post #351

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's quite arrogant for one to think that just because someone is late, they are late out of a lack of respect for one's time. The early person upset their time was wasted is being equally if not more selfish by expecting everyone to move to their whims.

How is expecting someone to honor a mutual meeting time that they've agreed to in advance a selfish desire that everyone moves to their whims!

Post by fetus8 » Wed, Feb 21, 2018, 5:05 PM UTC

firstplacelast wrote: post #245

warabe wrote: post #192

As a gay man who is almost 30, I think making friends is relatively easy for gay people thanks to dating apps. Perhaps, you cannot same gender friends in Tinder (if I'm wrong, please correct me), but a lot of gay people are using dating apps not only to find relationships but also to find friends. I also think social isolation around gay people makes friendship among gay people special. I don't know much about Wester…

Also gay, I think it is much more to do with our "delayed adolescence" and childless-ness. Or at least in the US that's what I see. The older I get, the more blessed I feel to be gay. I can move to any medium to large sized city tomorrow and probably find tons of guys in my age range that are looking for friends and shared-activity partners. I have many child-free gay friends in their late 30's-50's and their social…

Post by Adamantcheese » Wed, Feb 21, 2018, 5:13 PM UTC

jchallis wrote: post #331

I have found Randi Zuckerberg's quip that of [family, sleep, fitness, friends and work] you can focus on three at a time. For me, it's family, work and fitness. If I have extra time, I use it for sleep. Friends are critically important. They just aren't as important as family, work, fitness and sleep. If I had more free time, I'd invest more in sleep than finding relationships.

Post by pmontra » Wed, Feb 21, 2018, 5:20 PM UTC

bonestamp2 wrote: post #568

kokey wrote: post #508

As someone who has been an expat in several locations and also divorced, I have found that it's not really due to age but down to where the people around you find themselves in their life and where you find yourself in life. When young people go to college a significant portion of them are in a situation where they would need to seek and develop new friendships. The same happens if you move to a location which has a…

Also an expat here who has lived in multiple locations. I discovered (accidentally) that meetup.com is a great way to make friends in a new place that have a common interest. Try to find a group (or start one) that is about something you're interested in and that meets weekly. Go every week! You'll make friends in no time. I've done this in a number of cities now.