The underappreciated power of common courtesy • Hacker News Board

Re: The underappreciated power of common courtesy

#61

Post by Mz » Thu, Apr 11, 2013, 1:45 AM UTC

ScottBurson wrote: post #56

Mz wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wish I could agree with you whole-heartedly but I cannot. I place a high value on treating others with respect, helping without expecting anything in return, etc. For some things, yes, I see clear evidence of "good karma" coming back to me. For other things, I feel like my life is a case of "no good deed goes unpunished." I am pretty angry and bitter about it. I feel like I must be doing something wrong somewhere,…

Two thoughts. Watch out for martyrhood. Indulging in it can definitely produce the kind of experience you describe. But if you're sure that's not the problem, I'd suggest simply not associating with anyone who takes advantage of you. In a business context, this can mean "firing your customers", as someone once put it.

I am sure I am not personally inclined to martyr myself. I am equally sure that does not prevent other people from trying to cast me in the role.

I have had a long day. Minor emergency came up. Catch you later.

Re: The underappreciated power of common courtesy

#62

Post by rdl » Thu, Apr 11, 2013, 10:52 AM UTC

Anechoic wrote: post #16

My common courtesy wake-up call: MIT mechanical engineering students often had to go through the course "secretary" to see their faculty advisers of high-level MechE professors. At the time, the course secretary was a middle-aged women with a desk outside of the MechE administrative offices. When you walked into the office, you spoke with her and she would send you to the appropriate faculty office. Whenever any of m…

There's also Anne Hunter in Course 6, who I think started out as some kind of secretary and has essentially been the most important, helpful, and generally nice person in the EECS department at MIT for the past 20 (?) years.

Re: The underappreciated power of common courtesy

#63

Post by cema » Thu, Apr 11, 2013, 7:37 PM UTC

cabacon wrote: post #53

cema wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wanted to joke about Secretaries General but then thought it below the HN level.

The "I was going to say X but I didn't" joke seems common in the CS/computer community. I find it vaguely irritating, because you're saying something you know you shouldn't be saying, as evidenced by distancing yourself from the statement. I was going to downvote, but maybe I can add to the discussion instead. This technique has a name, either paralepsis ( http://grammar.about.com/od/pq/g/paralepsisterm.htm ) or pret…

I have noticed that many people here think that jokes do not add to the quality of discussions. A joke is just one of several ways of introducing non-direct references to arguments (I think I can call them "hints"). I had a hypothesis that people may not like such hints which, after all, may be culture-dependent. So I tried other ways of hinting and found out that they do not seem to evoke such a hostile response. So it must be something else, but I am not sure what exactly. Another possibility is that people may be offended at jokes, even inoffensive ones, but this is not something I would like to test.

As far as rhetorical devices are concerned, there are many of them that may be used in a discussion without detracting from it. HN does not need to be dry and often is not.