Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

blog.bucketlistly.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

61–70 of 117 posts

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#61

Post by adcoelho »

simonsarris wrote: post #16

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

I've tried this approach and it works but there are situations when one can't go alone. In my case I like to play football(soccer, if you will) and it requires a minimum of 10 to play, it's extremely stressful when we get the people, book the field and when we arrive there we are always short by one.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#62

Post by untog »

tmh88j wrote: post #3

To each his own. Half the fun of traveling is the friends you're with, for me at least. The first time I went to NYC and SF I spent ~8 hours wandering around by myself (friends were still working) and I didn't get much enjoyment out of it. Sure I talked to some random people, but honestly I was bored after about 2 hours. The moments I remember and enjoyed were spent with friends, regardless of the location.

For me at least, it varies. One of my fondest memories (and possibly one of my best life memories) is travelling around the US for three months with my best friend. I will likely never replicate that experience.

But that said, I just took a four day trip to Germany by myself and I loved it. I think I spoke less than thirty words to anyone on most of those days, and found it tremendously relaxing to just walk around a museum by myself, alone in my thoughts. I took a three hour train ride to Poland just because I wanted to, and I loved sitting there by myself watching people in rural East Germany go about their business. It's a lot more difficult to be a fly on the wall when you're with someone, because the minute you open your mouth it's evident you are an outsider.

But on the other hand, I'm extremely reluctant to approach complete strangers and strike up conversation. When I'm with someone, it happens naturally. When I'm by myself, I will be alone for the duration of my trip.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#64

Post by saraid216 »

ericbrooke wrote: post #32
simonsarris wrote: post #16

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

I agree, I like to RPG or play board games and sometimes it gets tiring organizing. It makes sense that certain types of people will end up following the actual planner. I think it really works if you always do that think, else its like buses if it does not regularly deliver people will avoid as it is unpredictable

It's easiest when you've got a core group of people who are willing to commit to a schedule.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#65

Post by coryl »

_delirium wrote: post #28
grabeh wrote: post #12

I don't think there's much to be gained from stating either way whether you prefer solo or group travel. I have personally enjoyed travelling solo and with friends. They both have positives and negatives. As people have said at least you are guaranteed company with friends around, and there's much to be said for sharing experiences with someone who you know inside-out or at least well. Having said that, travelling so…

Yes, I'm a bit confused by what people are taking away from this post. There are advantages to doing things individually, and to doing things collaboratively, and I'm interested in the relationship between those. But I don't feel like I learned much from this article about either one. Is it just the self-help-book-esque "be yourself, don't let anyone hold you back" message?

Hypothesis: some people have a social 'security blanket' and are unwilling to do things alone, and thus miss out on opportunities to do interesting things. Perhaps OP was one of those people, and is now sharing/inspiring others to do the same.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#66

Post by dguaraglia »

mbesto wrote: post #48
simonsarris wrote: post #16

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

I cannot even begin to tell you how often I experience this. It's fascinating how clearly drawn leadership and followship (is that a word?) are now that we live in the digital world. As someone else mentioned, motivation is contagious.

I think the word you are looking for is 'following' :-)

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#67

Post by saraid216 »

anonymouz wrote: post #39
ghc wrote: post #13

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.

I think this feels really awkward at first but one can get used to it. My hypothesis as to why it feels awkward is that one is afraid that other people might think, "Oh, look at this guy, he can't find anyone to go out to eat with him". But this is stupid, because obviously those other people that are there in groups don't go out every night to dine with friends either. They might just do the eating alone nights at h…

While this thread has prompted me to break my personal taboo of not going to fancy places by myself, my actual reason isn't how about how other people perceive me, but my perception as to what the proper role of such a restaurant is: a place to celebrate company through good food and good atmosphere. Going by myself would violate that--at least, I think it will--; I figure I ought to give it a try and see if anything feels lost from that.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#68

Post by kafkaesque »

adcoelho wrote: post #61
simonsarris wrote: post #16

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

I've tried this approach and it works but there are situations when one can't go alone. In my case I like to play football(soccer, if you will) and it requires a minimum of 10 to play, it's extremely stressful when we get the people, book the field and when we arrive there we are always short by one.

Have you tried REC leagues? Where I'm from, they are quite popular. It's somewhat easier to plan, even though there always will be a couple of people missing (out of more than 11, though).

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#69

Post by rmc »

simonsarris wrote: post #16

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

Totally agree. I've found just "calling" or "declaring" events is very effective.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#70

Post by run4yourlives »

adcoelho wrote: post #61
simonsarris wrote: post #16

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

I've tried this approach and it works but there are situations when one can't go alone. In my case I like to play football(soccer, if you will) and it requires a minimum of 10 to play, it's extremely stressful when we get the people, book the field and when we arrive there we are always short by one.

Join a league.

Life's too short to fart around with trying to find those extra few people. If you join a league, not only will you get your match fixes on a more regular basis, you'll have a broader pool to select from if you do try and set up something ad-hoc.

Post reply on HN