Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

blog.bucketlistly.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 117 posts

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#31

Post by nlavezzo »

I came to this conclusion between the sophomore and junior years of college when I had the money to take a trip to Italy but none of my friends did. I'd never been further than Mexico, but I did it.

Being there alone was exhilarating - almost like the feeling of being hiking in the wilderness far enough away from people that if you broke a leg, you'd be in serious trouble. There is something wonderful about being far away from everything you know is safe and comfortable. I think there's a part of you that you can only find doing things like that.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#32

Post by ericbrooke »

simonsarris wrote: post #16

I too used to be plagued by wishy-washy friends, and since waiting on finalization of plans can be a real pain, I decided to find some ways to deal with them. The first thing I did was set up a google group for my friends. There are about 20 memebers in it and we share stuff between each other by email occasionally but also make plans. The second thing I learned was never to entice people or make plans, but simply to…

I agree, I like to RPG or play board games and sometimes it gets tiring organizing. It makes sense that certain types of people will end up following the actual planner. I think it really works if you always do that think, else its like buses if it does not regularly deliver people will avoid as it is unpredictable

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#33

Post by bradleyjg »

dylanz wrote: post #20
ghc wrote: post #13

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.

Hah! I came here for this comment. My friends actually pick fun of me when I tell them I go to restaurants alone, but I thoroughly enjoy it. I'll usually bring in a notebook, a book, or something to do... and... take, my, time. I'm on my own schedule when I eat alone. I can eat as slow as I want to, I can order as fast as I want and what I want, I don't have to think of things to talk about, etc. I absolutely love pe…

For me part of the awkwardness is purely physical. Talking doesn't require extensive use of your hands and the person you are talking to are generally at eye level. Whereas reading and writing feel much more like an interruption to the meal rather than a compliment to it.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#34

Post by vidarh »

roflc0ptic wrote: post #23

There seems to be a strain of thought, especially prevelant in the programming community, that really romanticizes acting alone. I really wonder if we should romanticize it. I used to live like this - I would go to shows alone, eat out alone, go to movies alone. I'd go hiking by myself, I'd go on long bike rides by myself. At the time I didn't have the resources to go on trips by myself, but I would've done that, too…

There's a big difference between being able to enjoy going out alone when nobody you know are around, and constantly seeking it out.

Losing out on great experiences because you're worried about doing it on your own is a shame. But losing out on great companionship is too. They don't need to compete.

For many of the same reasons you mention, a lot of guys here should probably be ready to go out alone more. Not instead of doing stuff with friends, but when the alternative is to stay at home or do other activities that pretty much guarantee solitude. If you go out and do stuff, at least your chances of meeting new people is substantially higher.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#36

Post by DigitalTurk »

As a rule, I prefer traveling on my own. That way I can take my time to walk wherever I want and get a better 'feel' for the city. For instance, I love to go out into the city without a map sometimes. I often even go out of my way to eat in cheap, dirty places because I want to know what the locals eat. Sometimes I even go out of my way to explore the boring and the ugly parts of town.

It's difficult to find travel partners that share these interests. :)

Additionally, when I'm traveling with someone else I get distracted by conversations. That means I fail to notice tons of things. Also, I have experienced that my travel companion(s) would take me to all sorts of interesting places and then afterwards I'm unable to pinpoint on a map where I've been. That kind of sucks.

It's also much easier to start interesting conversations with locals or other travelers when you're not in a group.

I'm never lonely. I often stay in hostels so I can usually talk to other solo travelers. And sometimes I hit couchsurfing.org and meet up with individuals or groups.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#37

Post by gav »

jonknee wrote: post #26
ghc wrote: post #13

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.

Eat at the bar. There's usually more going on and it's much less awkward. Even better is you won't need a reservation and the waiter isn't bummed that the table is half empty.

This one of the things I learnt from business travel; sitting at the bar means you can talk to the waitstaff plus everyone else waiting for tables, you'll end up feeling a lot less lonely than sitting alone at a table.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#38

Post by david927 »

If you want to do something, and you make that contingent upon another person, you've introduced fragility to your goal.

I've heard that a popular reason startups fail is co-founder disagreement, but that is just another way of saying there was a failure in leadership.

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#39

Post by anonymouz »

ghc wrote: post #13

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.

I think this feels really awkward at first but one can get used to it.

My hypothesis as to why it feels awkward is that one is afraid that other people might think, "Oh, look at this guy, he can't find anyone to go out to eat with him". But this is stupid, because obviously those other people that are there in groups don't go out every night to dine with friends either. They might just do the eating alone nights at home by themselves. Which objectively speaking seems no much "worse" than doing it in a restaurant, except that it is more hidden from the public.

So, just realize that those other people also eat alone, but when they do they might be too scared to even go out and rather sit at home. That makes you brave and adventurous compared to them! ;-)

Re: Fuck it, I'll Do This Alone

#40

Post by supercanuck »

jonknee wrote: post #26
ghc wrote: post #13

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel extremely awkward going to nice restaurants alone even if I bring something to do. I don't experience this feeling anywhere else...just restaurants. I think I'd be more likely to travel alone than to go out to a nice restaurant down the street alone.

Eat at the bar. There's usually more going on and it's much less awkward. Even better is you won't need a reservation and the waiter isn't bummed that the table is half empty.

I travel for a living, M-TH, and I've taken up shop at the bar on numerous occasions at nice restaurants.

That is what they are there for. Just don't go in there looking homeless and you'll be well received.

Post reply on HN