We are all looking for connection, and many don't find it, don't even know how to find it. Much of the technology in our modern world (television, web sites like Facebook, mobile phones) make this problem worse. That is, there is an economic incentive to drive us apart.
What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
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Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#62Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time. Put another way, first order desires almost never really govern anyone's behavior, and second order desires are dictated almost exclusively by psychological baggage that has little to do with their adult lives.
"Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time." The problem, in my experience, is that figuring out what you actually "want" is a very difficult proposition. And it often changes rapidly. You can see this manifested in people who are trying to choose a career. Even smart, goal oriented people often flounder around the career question because while many things interest th…
I'm not telling anyone "Do what you want!" per se, and many people don't have a clear picture of what they want (of course most people just want simple things: they want to be loved most of all, to feel good about themselves, to feel safe, and to be free of stress and anxiety).
Instead I'm saying that even if you are, like me, a person who could write down exactly what you want, from the scale of your lifetime down to how you would like to spend each morning and evening, that clarity doesn't actually enable you to do any of those things.
I would love to wake up each morning and exercise for 20 minutes, cook a healthy breakfast with a small pot of tea, read the New York Times, and then watch the sun rise.
But I cannot do it. Not because it's hard, or because of its existential absurdity, or because it would require something that I don't have. I can't do it because my subconscious has other motives, like the motive to stay in bed until the anxiety of scheduled events compel me to leave it.
Psychology, in my opinion, does not seem designed for contemporary life, which makes many people's lives much more difficult than they need to be.
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#63Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time. Put another way, first order desires almost never really govern anyone's behavior, and second order desires are dictated almost exclusively by psychological baggage that has little to do with their adult lives.
Could you elaborate? I'm interested. By "first order desires", do you mean complete barbarism, such as seeing someone with an ice cream cone, and killing them on the spot so you can have the ice cream? And where do you feel second-order desires come from? Are you talking about the idea that humans can acquire new goals without even being aware they have done so? [1] Or something else? [1] "We do, as shown by decades…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Higher-order_volition
Not a great entry but you get the idea.
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#64That my people skills are close to horrendous.
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#65Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#66How easy it is to fail. How easy it is to do it all wrong. How easy it is to make the wrong decisions. How easy it is to get really down on yourself. How easy it is to blame others for your own mistakes. How easy is is to think others are right and you are wrong. How easy it is to think it is hard to get back up and really "do it" and "do it right". How easy it is to get back up on your feet once you've made a decisi…
This is almost a country song! Except that it ends on a positive note ... you'd need to reverse it to make it sad if you really want to make a hit out of it. (Not criticizing -- I think it's nicely written).
Need to slide in a pickup truck and a dog somewhere in there. I don't think the country crowds would go wild for Cassandra and Node.js. :)
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#67Too many people are peasants, and would rather have a king to petition or blame than actually solve their own problems.
For those upvoting: please be sure you mean it. I am not alluding to libertarianism, Austrian economics, or pulling yourself up by your bootstraps. Rather the the opposite, actually. There's a whole lot of stuff that could be done collectively, even cooperatively, but isn't, because that would require a shift in mentality away from "waaaah, the king issued an evil decree!" to "our entire town has to pitch in to solve this together".
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#68That a side project of mine, something that would take most here a weekend, has taken me over a year now (and it still isn't finished).
To be fair I've been learning a lot of things. redoing my work. Trying different options. Taking month-long breaks here and there.
A lot of the time it feels like I'm just running in place. A lot of things feel like progress, but really aren't.
And then I worry, maybe I won't ever be cut out for all this stuff here on hacker news. The culture, goals, start-up life. Maybe it it won't be any more than a dream.
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#69Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#70That during a double dip recession things can still get worse. A lot of my friends are now jobless. That my boss wants to hear compliments. Nothing else. Ever. Reading HN is the closest I'll ever get to seeing a start up grow any larger than 3 people struggling in a tiny office paid for by the EU. I won't ever pay off my credit cards or mortgage. I'll never own a new car or any new hobby equipment. eBay and freecycle…
America really is a bonkers place to live, but what can you do? My friends frequently joke that everyone in blue states should move to red states and take them over! I recycle, walk to work, and don't leave the lights on!
Gun control in the US - fixable bug in the system, or fundamental design flaw?