Everyone dies. :'(
Damn man, I know how that feels. So sorry for your loss.
What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
41–50 of 72 posts
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#42That I'm an alcoholic, that I have ADHD, depression and social anxiety. I've got a lot to fix in 2013.
I have no idea if these are true, but I like a person who can self-reflect well. I love folks who are able to attack/correct things they need to.
Best of luck!
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#43Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time. Put another way, first order desires almost never really govern anyone's behavior, and second order desires are dictated almost exclusively by psychological baggage that has little to do with their adult lives.
Could you elaborate? I'm interested.
By "first order desires", do you mean complete barbarism, such as seeing someone with an ice cream cone, and killing them on the spot so you can have the ice cream?
And where do you feel second-order desires come from? Are you talking about the idea that humans can acquire new goals without even being aware they have done so? [1] Or something else?
[1] "We do, as shown by decades of research on operant conditioning. When a neutral potential goal is associated with a stimulus of positive affect, we acquire new goals, and we can be unaware that this has happened:" from http://lesswrong.com/lw/5sk/inferring_our_desires/
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#44That I'm an alcoholic, that I have ADHD, depression and social anxiety. I've got a lot to fix in 2013.
fist bump
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#45Incompetent people will often take politically expedient decisions that cause more harm than good but protect their positions.
I would be cautious on your labeling them as incompetent--perhaps they are very competent at protecting their positions, you just have a different agenda. Of course, I don't know your exact situation. But, people act according to their alignment of incentives. If one is more motivated by the work they're doing rather than the pay they're receiving, then you get one set of behaviors. Likewise, if they're motivated by…
I agree in theory, but it's difficult to align values with someone whose strategy is to shift blame to clients and subordinates due to lack of planning and communication skills. These people create a toxic, reactive working environment and their damage needs to be managed. I don't believe that they bring good things to the table.
I realize that this sounds exceptionally bitter so I am open to the possibility that I have become cynical and am unable to see from outside the lense of my own vision.
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#46Most people, myself included, don't actually do the things they want to do most of the time. Put another way, first order desires almost never really govern anyone's behavior, and second order desires are dictated almost exclusively by psychological baggage that has little to do with their adult lives.
Can you elaborate on that?
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#47How easy it is to fail. How easy it is to do it all wrong. How easy it is to make the wrong decisions. How easy it is to get really down on yourself. How easy it is to blame others for your own mistakes. How easy is is to think others are right and you are wrong. How easy it is to think it is hard to get back up and really "do it" and "do it right". How easy it is to get back up on your feet once you've made a decisi…
This is almost a country song! Except that it ends on a positive note ... you'd need to reverse it to make it sad if you really want to make a hit out of it.
(Not criticizing -- I think it's nicely written).
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#48I am 25 years old and I don't have the $100,000 job that everyone seems to have no trouble getting =(
When I was your age I was making ~25k/yr. (in today's money) working in a soul-sucking callcenter. Hopefully, you're better off than I was.
I'm making less than that now, but that's mostly thanks to our shitty currency exchange rates. I would gladly work for USD$25k/year.
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#49That during a double dip recession things can still get worse. A lot of my friends are now jobless. That my boss wants to hear compliments. Nothing else. Ever. Reading HN is the closest I'll ever get to seeing a start up grow any larger than 3 people struggling in a tiny office paid for by the EU. I won't ever pay off my credit cards or mortgage. I'll never own a new car or any new hobby equipment. eBay and freecycle…
America really is a bonkers place to live, but what can you do?
My friends frequently joke that everyone in blue states should move to red states and take them over!
I recycle, walk to work, and don't leave the lights on!
Re: What was your most painful realisation of 2012?
#50One of my favorite thoughts for this year:
"EVERYONE is faking it"
I've read this thought a few times throughout the year and it really stuck with me.
I frequently think to myself: "why is all this stuff (work, life, bills, relationships) so hard for me but not everyone else? I must be some kind of an idiot"
Perception really IS everything.
The truth is they don't know what they're doing any more or less than I do.
We all put on fake smiles and tell big stories all just to try to give the appearance of credibility and importance.
You are not an idiot. We are all in this experiment of life together.