> What’s the gender ratio on Duolicious? > Right now the ratio of active men to women is 7.32:1. The ratio can change a lot, depending on which online communities have been talking about Duolicious lately; The ratio’s previously been as high as about 20:1. Admitting this was brave.
Duolicious – Open-source dating app
61–70 of 111 posts
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#62People looking for "an ethical dating app" are usually incel or incel adjacent. Dating is a zero sum game. Most men don't understand women. I'm saying this as a top 10% guy (IRL and on apps). It's best to acknowledge this and take this into account.
But even supposing it was zero sum, and supposing I'm a "low value" male and I deserve a "low value" female. The dating sites could fail to show us to each other, leaving a lot of people single or dissatisfied because they matched too low.
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#63Earlier quoted context omitted.
Can they charge women $1 to join and charge men $20 or something?
I can tell you that as a cis-male, there are many people that sign up for apps like Tinder that represent themselves either incorrectly, don't fit into the filters that are available, or gender themselves in a way that don't mesh well with cis-for-cis relationships. I hope that doesn't come off as harsh or hateful, because it absolutely isn't. I feel like a lot of non-cis people are subjected to a lot of unnecessary…
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#64I like the open source aspect, I've been looking for an ethical dating app for a long time, and based on the README it looks awesome! But then I clicked onto the site, and things did a 180, based on the edgy marketing copy on the landing page I don't think this is the site I'm looking for, as 'normie' as that might make me. > There’s plenty of dating apps out there: Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, Boo, Hinge. We think they’…
Unfortunately, I don't think we're going to ever be getting an ethical dating app. It may be ethical as far as not charging users to connect, or not trying to keep users constantly staying single so they are always using and checking the app. Without that "addiction" potential, I think even a completely open dating app would fail miserably. If people were able to connect and move on quickly, there would be little rea…
Actually, I think "charging users to connect" is the only way to make an ethical dating app. The key thing is, everyone pays the same amount, and gets the same abilities within the platform. No freemium, no free riders. Everyone helps keep the platform sustainable.
You do still have to deal with the perverse incentive to keep people on the platform, but I have an even crazier idea for that: one-time single payment. Now the platform is incentivized to get people off the platform while still being satisfied enough to recommend it to incoming users. I suspect that could go badly in different ways, and might not be necessary if it's generally acting in the users' favor (possibly because of my craziest idea, having it be user-owned). I'm still thinking about it.
That or someone needs to run it as a charity. I'm not sure if that's more or less crazyb than the previous ideas.
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#65Earlier quoted context omitted.
That actually is illegal! Our local California restaurant has been (successfully) sued for having "ladies nights out" where they provided discount drinks for ladies: https://www.cnn.com/2024/12/31/business/ladies-night-lawsuit...
you're probably right, but I think this is a bit different. You're effectively selling a gender "badge" on your profile. Either (real) gender can purchase that badge, but if you want to be marked as "male", it costs $20. and if you want to be marked as "female", its $1. People will want to be honest about their gender identity, because being marked as the wrong gender would get messages from the wrong gender.
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#66Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm not sure what would constitute ethical versus not ethical exactly, but increasingly I've wondered if some governments will start supporting dating apps, if birthrates decline enough. Is that better than a private corporation app? Maybe or maybe not but it seems like it might change the "ethical issue landscape". Or maybe dating apps per se will fade away and dating functionality will just get folded into more gen…
I define ethical as an app that is designed to do its job as effectively as possible. That is to say, match the most compatible individuals without stupid retention games. The problem is, this isn’t a good business model. I would fully support a state funded dating app (so long as the dating app wasn’t actually controlled by the state because then it would just be weird)
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#67Earlier quoted context omitted.
you're probably right, but I think this is a bit different. You're effectively selling a gender "badge" on your profile. Either (real) gender can purchase that badge, but if you want to be marked as "male", it costs $20. and if you want to be marked as "female", its $1. People will want to be honest about their gender identity, because being marked as the wrong gender would get messages from the wrong gender.
You are just asking for trouble, to be sued, and will lose too.
I believe this is basically how seeking works
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#68Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don’t know how Duolicious does it. With okcupid you could not just answer the question, but also mark which answers you would “accept” in a potential partner and how much you care about that question from “not at all” to “very much”. For example if the question was “Do you do drugs?” i can answer it with a “no” but also mark that I’m willing to meet people who marked either “no” or “only soft stuff, like weed”, and…
Well, I am not especially found of tattoos. But if there is one thing I dislike in dating profiles, then it is a long laundry list of what I have to be and what I don't have to be. Nothing makes you look older and unavailable.
Then surely an app that allows people to do the filtering they want without writing these things on their profile is a good thing?
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#69> What’s the gender ratio on Duolicious? > Right now the ratio of active men to women is 7.32:1. The ratio can change a lot, depending on which online communities have been talking about Duolicious lately; The ratio’s previously been as high as about 20:1. Admitting this was brave.
Wow, I expected a lot more men
Re: Duolicious – Open-source dating app
#70People looking for "an ethical dating app" are usually incel or incel adjacent. Dating is a zero sum game. Most men don't understand women. I'm saying this as a top 10% guy (IRL and on apps). It's best to acknowledge this and take this into account.
I don't think it's zero sum. Not everyone is into the same parameters. Or at least we don't weigh them the same. Supposing I don't know anything about women, I would at least venture to say that nerd guys like myself value intelligence in women more than the average person. But even supposing it was zero sum, and supposing I'm a "low value" male and I deserve a "low value" female. The dating sites could fail to show…
Edit: Also a lot of intellectual women tend to stay away from men seeking intellectual women cause most of the time it is a red flag, cause if you probe deeper a lot of these guys are looking for nerd girls for unhealthy reasons, like they have an unhealthy image of a "nerd girl" in their minds, other times is it just coping, they would be with the sports illustrated girl or "go with the flow" art girl if they could.