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Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

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Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#61
post #11

The bad news is it’s going to take a long time to heal. The good news is you can come back happier than you can imagine. In an ideal scenario you would quit working entirely to focus on your health, but I’m guessing this is not an option. You need to focus on the body first. The most important is sleep, but that is also difficult to address directly, so it’s best to focus on diet and exercise. You’ll likely have to d…

I know why I'm burning out, but I don't know what to do with the realisation. The fear of being fired, then broke, and then not being able to survive is real-ish. Advice?

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#62
Whatever you do, my advice is don't do it from a place of fear or desperation.

Take the time you need to think about what's best, and delay irreversible decisions until you are in a good place to make them.

Do whatever you need to get into a good mental space so you can think about what's the best course of action for you.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#63
post #14

I took 6 months off work and was thankful every morning I had been wise enough to have healthy savings for "a rainy day". In those 6 months I introduced some life changing habits and reassessed life's priorities. Ironically, the burnout was probably the best thing which ever happened to me, both mentally and physically.

what did you do for those 6 months if i may ask?

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#64

Yes tell your boss and work something out. Your bosses reaction should be acknowledgement that your personal health takes priority over everything else because this is an obvious fact. Anything less is not acceptable. (Source: I am a boss). The options you will receive depend on the company. Time off or part time is a good idea. You don't need a plan to do 'something that's not work'. Don't worry about that part. Tak…

I'd add a bit of caution to this. Yes, tell your boss, but have some kind of plan in place first.

If the boss is a good boss, they will work with you and try to help. If your boss is not, things could get a bit more complicated.

In other words, be prepared for a boss that makes this your problem. If they do, that's a sign that you should probably be looking elsewhere anyway. That might also be a clue about where the burnout is coming from.

But bottom line, think through what your next steps look like if

a) Your boss is understanding, and wants to help (what do you want from them? how might they help? etc.)

b) Your boss is dismissive, or doesn't have the ability to help (will you look for another job that is less stressful, or focus on saving enough for a sabbatical, or other?)

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#65

I was in the same boat at my first startup (a series of 70-100 hour weeks and I was completely fried by year 2.) I had accumulated (and untouched) vacation time, so I wrapped up anything critical, drove to SFO, got on a plane to Mexico, and stayed for two weeks. I did not bring my laptop. I did nothing but swim, go to the beach, read (physical) novels and have nice meals at restaurants. Exercise and sunshine pulled m…

> a series of 70-100 hour weeks

wouldn't you have to go back to that and end up in the same situation again?

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#66
- Should I tell my boss and/or team? Should I tell them right away, or wait until I know what other steps I want to take? What should I expect their reactions to be?

Yes and No. Yes if you believe your boss will be supportive to help you find a work-life balance. No if you don't think so and just try to work less to recover.

- Should I take time off? How much? Or should I try to work reduced hours? I'm hesitant because I don't have many hobbies (if any) and in the middle of the pandemic there isn't much to do anyway. I don't think running out of things to do would be any better for my health than continuing as-is. I've been there before and I don't handle boredom well.

Both? Use your time to recover and work reduced hours. Find new hobbies and get bored because that way you will be more creative and pursue passion projects. Maybe you're burned out because you don't have a hobby outside of work. Embrace being bored until creativity strikes for your next thing.

- If I continue working, is there something in my working environment I should try to change? Think of senior engineer in a typical DevOps-y SaaS startup.

Burnout in my experience comes from not having something better to do than work. Find hobbies, make friends, play games, read books, etc. It can also manifest in not being able to accomplish certain things at work, so talk to people and find ways to unblock yourself.

- Is there anything specific to working in tech and burning out that I should know about? I feel like this isn't exactly rare.

Not really. Maybe you just have been working too much and you're at the verge of a breakdown. Find things that make you happy. Right now, that's probably not a computer.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#67
All good advice here around sleep, physical fitness and diet.

Really look at your diet. I went through a period where I was finding it harder and harder to stay focused at work, and I attributed it to burnout. Then I started taking fish oil capsules for vitamin D and the problem magically went away.

I;m not saying that will work for you, but I am saying diet makes a HUGE difference to mood, ability to concentrate and general mental well-being. Sometimes you are just deficient in some essential nutrient.

But those are the big three. Sleep, diet and exercise.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#68
post #62

Whatever you do, my advice is don't do it from a place of fear or desperation. Take the time you need to think about what's best, and delay irreversible decisions until you are in a good place to make them. Do whatever you need to get into a good mental space so you can think about what's the best course of action for you.

Very best wishes for the coming few months - may they open new doors of possibility and well being for you :pray :)

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#69
You should tell your boss but I don't know what your boss is like, what your financial picture looks like, etc. Obviously if you think they're gonna fire you right away then maybe get your ducks in a row first. If you can afford time off then maybe see if your company is cool with you taking a sabbatical or see if you just need to put in your notice and then take a few months to decompress and work on your mental and physical health before re-entering the workforce with (hopefully) better perspective on what led you there and how to avoid it moving forward.

Re: Ask HN: Burned Out. What Now?

#70
post #22
post #4

Start sleeping 10+ hours a day for a while.

I have horrible insomnia and would be thrilled with 4+ hours/day. Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will is a wilder fantasy than the ones I have about Scarlett Johannson. Nothing helps: drugs, meditation, quitting caffeine, dietary changes, exercise, etc.

> Your notion that one could just sleep any amount at will is a wilder fantasy than the ones I have about Scarlett Johannson.

I have family telling me to "just sleep more" as if i wouldn't do that if it was in my control.

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