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My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

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Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#61

Post by rodgerd »

QUFB wrote: post #7
jdmoreira wrote: post #4

I have no clue on who this guy is nor do I have any sort of interest in Scala but this is terrible. If this is even remotely true I hope he suffers enormous consequences including being persecuted. How are people still getting away with this kind of abuse? How?

> How are people still getting away with this kind of abuse? How? Read the comments in this thread six hours from now and you'll understand.

Six hours? It'll be flagged out of existence by then, most likely.

On edit: it took mere minutes for the HN rape apologists to show up!

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#62

Post by kbelder »

ezluckyfree wrote: post #24
mirekrusin wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know anything about it, but this starts to look a bit like public lynching.

no, a lynching is a murder by a racist mob this is a community realizing that John Pretty is a predator and deciding that they don't want a predator in a position of power frankly, it's weird as hell for you to be confusing those two things

The similarity is that both are mob actions, done without legal charges or rules of evidence.

I'm not defending the guy specifically; I have no idea whether he's a guilty scumbag or a persecuted innocent. But even jerks deserve a certain amount of due process before punishment. Maybe she's the scumbag? I don't know, and neither do you.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#64

Post by ipaddr »

domano wrote: post #17

This is just downright disgusting, does somebody know if there have been consequences? I usually go to general or Go conferences and wonder if there is similiar stuff happening, but i have a good feeling since at least the go conferences alway emphasize inclusion. Lets hope this is true.

Everyone is migrating Scala projects as we speak.

This has very little to do with Scala and everything to do with the darkside of the conference scene. Getting involved with conferences at the level she did introduces travel - drugs - drinking - partying with somewhat like minded young people. The culture at the top can be about money, stars and groupies but it revolves around power. Those in charge decide who speak. Those who speak can get opportunity and money. Money buys speaker slots.

Conferences are an anti pattern to programming.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#65

Post by boblax »

the-dude wrote: post #28
Pfhreak wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sex was had while she did not consent, she mentions in the fifth paragraph.

That is not what she says there. She says she felt uncomfortable and taken advantage of.

She is definitely the kind of woman where a man shouldn't be making such advances. Let her be the acting party. She would have been telling another story if she were on top and had taken the initiative.

One of the simplest ways for a man to avoid the problems of consent where he suspects there may be is to be the one from whom consent is needed.

That is the absolute safest other than leaving. If you as a man attempt to get consent that may not be something you're able to obtain. She might be intoxicated and unable to consent. You might not know that. However what's safe is to let anyone initiate sex with you while you remain passive and let them have sex with you.

If you leave then I would strongly advise to say it is because you are feeling sick and think it's something you ate. Go to the toilet first and say you have the runs. That will cushion her pride and make her just glad you left. No chance of something mean-spirited.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#66

Post by willf »

> I have reported all of my experience to the ScalaCenter in 2019. I was hoping to see concrete actions, such as building a reporting mechanism, to protect minorities in the community. Unfortunately, I am not aware of such actions taken.

That sounds like a community failure, not just One Bad Guy.

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#67

Post by huachimingo »

ezluckyfree wrote: post #24
mirekrusin wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't know anything about it, but this starts to look a bit like public lynching.

no, a lynching is a murder by a racist mob this is a community realizing that John Pretty is a predator and deciding that they don't want a predator in a position of power frankly, it's weird as hell for you to be confusing those two things

Not necessarily by a racist mob, just an angry mob[1].

[1]https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/lynch#English

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#68

Post by ramtatatam »

mirekrusin wrote: post #6
ramtatatam wrote: post #3

> "There was another time that he insisted on having intercourse regardless of me saying I didn’t want to" This is rape is it not? Whoever this guy is, in my opinion this case should get in front of the judges. I can't imagine what the author of the story have gone through.

Rape is doing it, not insisting, I think.

> "I felt being taken advantage of that he had unprotected sex with me when I was intoxicated. Nothing felt right. I remember panicking and crying."

After reading above and then seeing the part about "insisting" I feel there was more behind this statement. The author's circumstances was also very easy to be taken advantage of. I'm not woman but my guess is there probably is shock involved in situations like this. People are not acting in reasonable ways when in shock..

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#69

Post by SpicyLemonZest »

api wrote: post #31
JPKab wrote: post #27

Jon Pretty sounds like a complete creep and yes, based on this account, a predator. That being said, there is a court and criminal justice system for a reason. While I empathize with the author, and utterly despise the archetype of high-status men who use their status within programming communities as a tool to target women, I find the nature of these kinds of posts to be counterproductive. Therapeutic to the author?…

I don't like this court-of-public-opinion stuff much either and the abuse potential is real. At the same time: what else are people going to do? There seems to be no other recourse. Most people let bullies get away with it because even stepping in as a third party means standing up to a bully. It can be scary, but even if there's no real risk it's still a fucking pain in the ass. Who wants to get into a mud slinging…

I don't blame the people who go public - I just wish that the rest of us would be a bit more hesitant to immediately signal boost them. (For example, I might avoid upvoting a story like this to the top of a tech news aggregation platform when the accused hasn't had time to respond.)

Re: My experience with sexual harassment in the Scala community

#70

Post by marcinzm »

fishnchips wrote: post #41
api wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't like this court-of-public-opinion stuff much either and the abuse potential is real. At the same time: what else are people going to do? There seems to be no other recourse. Most people let bullies get away with it because even stepping in as a third party means standing up to a bully. It can be scary, but even if there's no real risk it's still a fucking pain in the ass. Who wants to get into a mud slinging…

Contact law enforcement.

You mean the law enforcement in a foreign country that you are visiting for only a few days? The one that would require you to spend untold thousands of dollars, that you don't have, on flights if you had to testify in a court in a language that you do not fluently speak?
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