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For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

theguardian.com

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Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#61

Post by kick »

catalogia wrote: post #51
lmkg wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which do you think matters more to a person in an abusive situation? A. Paragraph two of some legal document somewhere B. "If you leave the house, I'll call the cops and tell them you're breaking quarantine, and then you'll go to jail and I'll be the only person who can get you out." I don't disagree with your last paragraph: There are other related issues and maybe some of them are worse. But how this actually plays…

Given that lifting quarantines seems infeasible, what do you suppose should be done instead? Same message, just communicated better?

When trying to protect people (or, more accurately, trying not to hurt people) in low-information or high-stress situations (both very common for abusive situations), you can't throw something that essential into the second paragraph of a document that few outside of pundits will ever read.

The goal would be for the exception to be noticeable-enough that it ended up in most headlines. How to achieve that is an interesting thing to think about, but it's what should have been done.

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#62

Post by stateofnounion »

Zenst wrote: post #29
wolco wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hmm, lets see. You could go the opposite way. Advertise for them everywhere. Put up signs for cheap stuff in other turfs. Let the free market work. Now is the problem the people below or where you live? Getting rid of thek might bring someone worse. Sounds like you have grown out of the area.

You know what, I cna garantee if I did that, I would be the one arrested and in jail and they would get away with it, making out it was me. For example, had issue few years back for noise, they came out attacked me, then called police and made out I attacked them. They have also made many false reports to the polcie and they quickly come out to them. Yet if I report them, even case of when they had guns and kelos in…

Welcome to our brave new world.

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#63

Post by ceejayoz »

weggooi wrote: post #41

Estimates are that, if governments do nothing to combat Covid 19, then the life expectancy of the whole population will be reduced by a mere 20 days.[1] Sacrificing 4 months of exercise, meaningful conversation, sex and other basic human needs is really not worth it. [1] For example 13.26 million QALYs divided by the US population https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/another-covid-cost-ben...

> the life expectancy of the whole population will be reduced by a mere 20 days

It's not evenly distributed, though.

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#64

Post by retrac »

mnky9800n wrote: post #26
Zenst wrote: post #23

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tried, even have psychiatric report stating as much and yet those who are supposed to help have failed me. Tried everything and nothing. But it's not just me, I have some good neibours who are less able to defend themselves and even if I moved, somebod else would suffer, let alone my good neibours and if I move, they would get worse downstairs. Only way is to see justice done and then move, though believe me I've tri…

Dude just move.

The parent commenter doesn't say it, but it seems strongly implied that they live in public housing. In most jurisdictions, residents don't have the option of moving to another unit without approval. In principle no one is stopping them from moving into market-rate private housing, but unless they happen to have the income to cover the differential in housing costs, it's not actually an option.

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#65

Post by bagacrap »

JoeAltmaier wrote: post #43
weggooi wrote: post #41

Estimates are that, if governments do nothing to combat Covid 19, then the life expectancy of the whole population will be reduced by a mere 20 days.[1] Sacrificing 4 months of exercise, meaningful conversation, sex and other basic human needs is really not worth it. [1] For example 13.26 million QALYs divided by the US population https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/another-covid-cost-ben...

And that load is taken almost entirely by the elderly (50+) population. Who don't matter? Are not worth it? They vote it turns out, so no we're not going to see a politician sacrificing them any time soon.

actually the median age of death is 80, for some more accurate perspective. Generally speaking I would consider myself lucky to live to that age and greedy if I thought that others should make major sacrifices so I could live slightly beyond it.

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#66

Post by [deleted] »

xwdv wrote: post #58
lmkg wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which do you think matters more to a person in an abusive situation? A. Paragraph two of some legal document somewhere B. "If you leave the house, I'll call the cops and tell them you're breaking quarantine, and then you'll go to jail and I'll be the only person who can get you out." I don't disagree with your last paragraph: There are other related issues and maybe some of them are worse. But how this actually plays…

If an abuser says B and the abused knows about A why wouldn’t they just throw that in their face and then leave? If you know your rights you’ll have the confidence to act.

[deleted]

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#67

Post by pureliquidhw »

xwdv wrote: post #58
lmkg wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which do you think matters more to a person in an abusive situation? A. Paragraph two of some legal document somewhere B. "If you leave the house, I'll call the cops and tell them you're breaking quarantine, and then you'll go to jail and I'll be the only person who can get you out." I don't disagree with your last paragraph: There are other related issues and maybe some of them are worse. But how this actually plays…

If an abuser says B and the abused knows about A why wouldn’t they just throw that in their face and then leave? If you know your rights you’ll have the confidence to act.

If you're in an abusive relationship, there's likely complex factors preventing the abused from throwing that paragraph in their abuser's face and leaving.

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#68

Post by zabana »

OrangeMango wrote: post #15

Where I am, the second paragraph of the executive order establishing the "lockdown" explicitly states that victims of domestic violence are exempt and are urged to leave for a safer location. It makes clear further in the order that services provided are considered essential and should remain open and that transportation is also essential and should remain available. The news media simply does a terrible job of commu…

> The news media simply does a terrible job of communicating what exactly these "lockdowns" mean.

The news media have no incentive to rationally analyse facts and put them in perspective. They need panic and confusion so we continue to click on their substance-less articles and videos.

In times of confusion like this, go directly to the official sources (WHO, ministry of health, NHS etc) and skip the "journalists" altogether, this will have a significant positive impact on your mental health.

Stay safe everyone

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#69

Post by zepto »

kick wrote: post #61
catalogia wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given that lifting quarantines seems infeasible, what do you suppose should be done instead? Same message, just communicated better?

When trying to protect people (or, more accurately, trying not to hurt people) in low-information or high-stress situations (both very common for abusive situations), you can't throw something that essential into the second paragraph of a document that few outside of pundits will ever read. The goal would be for the exception to be noticeable-enough that it ended up in most headlines. How to achieve that is an intere…

Realistically, people who stay in abusive relationships were already stuck. The problem wasn’t cause by the lockdown. Only compounded.

Changing the presentation of a document won’t change this.

What would, is a society that doesn’t tolerate the problem, and provides material support for the abused.

We are a long way from that.

Re: For people with an abusive partner, lockdown means captivity

#70

Post by dsfyu404ed »

mymythisisthis wrote: post #60

If you suspect one of your neighbors is being abused, call the police and report it. Don't wait, don't hesitate. Some people call the police because McDonald's screwed up their order. Call the police.

>If you suspect one of your neighbors is being abused, call the police and report it. Don't wait, don't hesitate.

Talk to your neighbors before you call the cops on them!!!!

If you see someone get physically abused then sure, you're witnessing a crime in progress, call the cops. If you're not then don't. It's wildly inappropriate to call the cops on a hunch.

If you think a neighbor is being abused but are not sure then just be their friend and communicate with them (you're neighbors, it's reasonable for you to have each other's phone numbers and email addresses) until you can discern whether or not you are correct. Cops are good at arresting people. They are not good at mediating. If they get called to a DV situation where they can't arrest someone they have a lot of potential to make things worse.

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