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Why are Adults so busy?

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Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#61

Post by allengeorge »

cperciva wrote: post #34
teekert wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But if you can manage to not think about it until say 19:50, you will feel less busy. Working on your current task with 100% dedication, spending your breaks looking out the window just watching the birds land on the branches of the cherry tree will make you feel less busy, I guarantee it. Edit: Not that I ever manage that myself of course but the theory is sound.

I can't say that I'm perfect at this, but I've found that to-do lists are a great way tool for helping me not think about things: Knowing that something is on my list and so I won't forget about it allows me to push it out of my head far more effectively.

Agreed - to-do lists help a lot, along with judicious use of reminders (a simple prompt helps a lot).

At least for me the key is to aggressively wean my to-do list, keeping items on it that I'm highly likely to complete in the next few days, as opposed to an ever-growing wish list.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#62

Post by mrec »

dazc wrote: post #43
jdimov10 wrote: post #13

The article doesn't really answer the question. It says adults are busy because they have too much stuff to do (duh..) But "why" is still a good question, and it remains unanswered. The answer is that, as we grow up, we tend to develop the belief that our well-being needs to be justified somehow. In other words, we start to believe that we are not by default worthy of living a good, joyful, care-free, abundant life..…

Having grown up in the UK I've always felt guilty about not doing anything in my free time. Partly because everyone else seems to be living such a busy and rewarding existence (or so they would have me believe). Now, living in Spain, I feel it's OK not to do anything. Just sitting in the shade for 6 hours watching the world go by doesn't make me a weirdo, like it does back home.

This post gives me hope. And a rekindled desire to learn Spanish. I just wish I coped with hot weather better.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#63

Post by majewsky »

ido wrote: post #25
edu wrote: post #3

OMG, that was a dreadful reading. And definitely, as an adult my life feels quite more easy and manageable than what she says, and I work, clean, cook, watch netflix, practice sport, and meet my friends besides all the other adult obligations.

How much time do you spend taking care of kids? That's the real time sink of adulthood (not just childcare itself, but also all the extra strain it generates in terms of household work, cleaning, etc). 10 years ago I had all the time in the world, even though I was an adult - a single, childless adult.

Having children is a choice. Most things in the original list are not a choice.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#65

Post by sras-me »

jdimov10 wrote: post #13

The article doesn't really answer the question. It says adults are busy because they have too much stuff to do (duh..) But "why" is still a good question, and it remains unanswered. The answer is that, as we grow up, we tend to develop the belief that our well-being needs to be justified somehow. In other words, we start to believe that we are not by default worthy of living a good, joyful, care-free, abundant life..…

My thoughts exactly. The question is a very good one. But the article does not really answer it.

To add to your observation, I think there is also a social aspect to it. I have often felt that being "not busy" is not socially acceptable. Or in other words being busy is somehow more respectable. So we tend to brag about being busy, and helps to perpetuate this point of view.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#66

Post by sridca »

jdimov10 wrote: post #13

The article doesn't really answer the question. It says adults are busy because they have too much stuff to do (duh..) But "why" is still a good question, and it remains unanswered. The answer is that, as we grow up, we tend to develop the belief that our well-being needs to be justified somehow. In other words, we start to believe that we are not by default worthy of living a good, joyful, care-free, abundant life..…

Yes, this is called "social conditioning." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_conditioning

To get back to being a kid, one can decondition all that (while retaining adult sensibilities).

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#67

Post by Jaruzel »

bryanlarsen wrote: post #59
jbb555 wrote: post #15

A lot of my time is 'wasted' by recovering from work. I have a nice physically easy programming job. But it's quite a lot of hours, and there is travel on top of that. But when I get home I need to spend at least an hour basically going 'ughhhhh' and just doing nothing much. It's necessary, but eats so much time.

What's your commute like? Can you arrange things to combine commute and de-stress time? In my experience the best way to de stress is to walk, but that's obviously not feasible for most. It's worth moving to make it possible, in my opinion. Mass transit is pretty awesome too. Even if it takes longer, you can plug in your headphones and zone, netflix and chill, or best of all, take a nap. Biking in urban areas can be…

I'm not sure 'netflix and chill ' is allowed on mass transit to be honest...

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#68

Post by ghaff »

allengeorge wrote: post #61
cperciva wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't say that I'm perfect at this, but I've found that to-do lists are a great way tool for helping me not think about things: Knowing that something is on my list and so I won't forget about it allows me to push it out of my head far more effectively.

Agreed - to-do lists help a lot, along with judicious use of reminders (a simple prompt helps a lot). At least for me the key is to aggressively wean my to-do list, keeping items on it that I'm highly likely to complete in the next few days, as opposed to an ever-growing wish list.

Yep. There's a value to also keeping a maybe someday list but a to do list really does need to be tractable. I've known people who kept these ever-expanding multi-page to do lists and never got anything done.

I'm really not much of a productivity "system" person but David Allen has some good ideas around completing quick tasks, to do lists, breaking things up into manageable chunks, calendars being for events that are tied to a specific time/date, etc.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#69

Post by csydas »

dazc wrote: post #43
jdimov10 wrote: post #13

The article doesn't really answer the question. It says adults are busy because they have too much stuff to do (duh..) But "why" is still a good question, and it remains unanswered. The answer is that, as we grow up, we tend to develop the belief that our well-being needs to be justified somehow. In other words, we start to believe that we are not by default worthy of living a good, joyful, care-free, abundant life..…

Having grown up in the UK I've always felt guilty about not doing anything in my free time. Partly because everyone else seems to be living such a busy and rewarding existence (or so they would have me believe). Now, living in Spain, I feel it's OK not to do anything. Just sitting in the shade for 6 hours watching the world go by doesn't make me a weirdo, like it does back home.

Heh, I've noticed that Western culture does put a different emphasis on work ethics. After moving to Russia, I've just noticed a different approach to how work is perceived, and my partner and her mom have often cited this proverb at me:

Работа не волк - в лес не убежит. Work is not a wolf, it will not run to the forest.

Basically, the idea is work isn't going anywhere, so no need to worry that much about it. At my last job in the US, I couldn't understand why people were so adamant about how busy they were when most of the time people were doing what they could to look busy. It's not that they were actually burdened with work, it was that they wanted to appear like they had no time. My employees would frequently get into arguments over who had the busier and more difficult schedule. My family does the same (one of my brothers prides himself on how little free time he had)

I guess it's just this perception that important people are busy and the inverse of that is if you're not busy you're not important. Just speculation, of course, but it's my experience that once you get away from the US, you lose this mindset.

Edit: I guess in fairness I should note that I did have genuinely busy coworkers - our under-staffed programming team were constantly under pressure and in constant repair mode due to not having the time or resources to move out of a crisis state. This is a true "always busy" scenario in my mind.

Re: Why are Adults so busy?

#70

Post by branchless »

jdimov10 wrote: post #13

The article doesn't really answer the question. It says adults are busy because they have too much stuff to do (duh..) But "why" is still a good question, and it remains unanswered. The answer is that, as we grow up, we tend to develop the belief that our well-being needs to be justified somehow. In other words, we start to believe that we are not by default worthy of living a good, joyful, care-free, abundant life..…

Try explaining rent to kids. We have to pay to exist? We have to pay how much? And they are right! I don't have a problem doing nothing. I don't care what others think. But I have to work far more than necessary because of the labour skiming rentiers. They are living off my back.

Edit: landlords of HN unite to downvote!

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