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Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

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Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#591

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There should be a shorthand phrase for "I agree with all parent nodes of this". Like a pseudo OOP-type syntax. Buying a bike and riding it regularly was my single best investment in terms of physical and mental health. A close second would be resistance training equipment, but this depends on what kind of resistance training you decide to do. I'd also say that part of the OP's issues stem from an expectation that one…

> There should be a shorthand phrase for "I agree with all parent nodes of this". Like a pseudo OOP-type syntax. +1 to everything above

Please don't do this. Vote instead.

Vote-like comments such as "+1," "Disagree," and "This." take up vertical space and reading time. Yet they convey hardly any more meaning than a vote. Let the ranking and shading of comments reflect your opinion.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#592

I'm 73. So yes, when I was 35 I more or less thought my life was over. But the best is yet to come. Think about being in the same room for 35 years. No matter what the room is like, it becomes utterly and completely boring. So get out. Where to go? For me, the answer came about from wondering what I was capable of becoming. You are not a programmer, or painter or duck or politician. You are capable of becoming anythi…

Thanks! It is good to hear from an optimistic 73 year old. Just a decade shy of that mark, I am working out how I will transition to the next phase. Intellectually I know that step one needs to be more physical activity-inertia can be a killer. Thanks again for the inspiration.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#593

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plus one in health and physical fitness. Buying a bicycle and using it daily was probably the best investment I ever made in myself. Also, I can't believe that I smoked those filthy cigarretes for so long, but how good is that I stopped this habit. About material realizations please remind that the average successful enterpreneur age is about 45. I only started being able to save serious, retirement-style money when…

But cycling doesn't cut it, right? Especially when you do it daily, you build some kind of immunity. Can't even sweat from cycling. Of course, it depends on duration and probably weather. I guess winter affected my experience. Running is way better for me.

If you want to sweat — lower tire pressure.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#594
post #444

I'm in a similar position only a bit younger and richer, I've found restricting exposure to information helps a lot. Meditation is basically spending some time not worrying about anything, it's not particularly helpful if you do it for a bit just to browse social media later. What I've done is remove lightbulbs from living spaces, delete social media and timelock any timesink (my browser allows 20 minutes of HN per d…

This is a lovely way to frame meditation.

Parking time to practice not-thinking has a cumulative effect in my experience, but it accumulates quickly I.e. days of practice. I’m not as disciplined as some, and mostly my diligence comes in waves where I re-establish a sitting routine every few months after life distracts me.

Also +1 on candlelight/hurricane lamps.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#595

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But cycling doesn't cut it, right? Especially when you do it daily, you build some kind of immunity. Can't even sweat from cycling. Of course, it depends on duration and probably weather. I guess winter affected my experience. Running is way better for me.

Can’t sweat from cycling? Find a hill

And if that doesn't work, try doing it with a single gear heavy steel bike.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#597
Help people who are doing far worse than you.

This is one potential way to improve your depression.

Make sure you exercise a lot and take your vitamins.

Pick up a hobby that will force you to meet lots of people. When I did photography, I met so many interesting people, including my future wife.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#598
post #230

LOL. Getting old is 35. ONLY $500K in savings at 35. Such a sad story. So sorry for you, as most people are lucky to have saved $50K at 35 or even 55! Money has no meaning if you are feeling lost with $500K. Seriously though, my advice would be stop comparing yourself to others. Older or younger, married or single, successful or not, fit or fat. Know thyself. Go on a meditation retreat. You have nothing to lose and n…

Yep this. The average rate of return is 10% so this is someone who can make $50k a year just off this money alone. The real median wage in the USA for workers who worked full time in 2020 was $56k. This person has enough money to nearly replicate the financial success of your average American via a do-nothing secondary income. Your average American retires with only $200k saved up by age 65 as well. $500k is a lot of…

>Also 35 isn't 65. This is the prime age for most business people, artists, writers, etc. This is typically a professional and creative peak that lasts, at least, another decade or so. A person this age often has the drive and vitality of youth but the wisdom of someone older. Its no wonder so many great works are created by people around this age.

The age of 35 does represents an important milestone for many artists; it is the age when their creativity fades in both intensity and volume. What used to arrive almost spontaneously now requires hard and conscious works. This is the age where even Mozart needed to increasingly rely on sketches, and some of those who relied on their youthful facility, such as Rossini, simply quit composition altogether. On the other hand, someone like Beethoven who always struggled with composition from the beginning of his career probably did not notice this creative slump (Beethoven's crisis came later in his mid-40s).

This barrier to creativity that arrives in the mid-30s is especially evident in the Romantic artists, not just Wordsworth and Coleridge, but also Holderlin, Schlegel, Chateaubriand and Senancour. Charles Rosen speculates that is is because the inspiration for the Romantics was "drawn directly from memories of adolescence, and as these memories receded into the past their evocation became more and more artificial, or else the writer found himself with a fully developed manner and no content."[1] In this sense I do believe 35 is in some ways "old" as it represents a paradigm shift in one's approach to the creative arts, and maybe life itself.

[1] Romantic poets, Critics and Other Madmen, 1998

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#599
post #560

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This was not my experience when I used to smoke. Stepping out for a cigarette was the easiest way to strike up a chat with a complete stranger. The best conversations I've ever had were probably done while smoking, with other smokers. People who have never smoked just won't get it. There is no ice breaker in the world like a cigarette. My social life became harder once I quit, but my body thanks me for it.

Depend on what you do. I haven’t met anyone who actually smokes in the last year in the UK apart from a guy who was vaping in the middle of a hike and we all thought he was a dickhead.

You haven't seen anyone smoking in the UK at all? Are you in the north or south east?

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#600

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plus one in health and physical fitness. Buying a bicycle and using it daily was probably the best investment I ever made in myself. Also, I can't believe that I smoked those filthy cigarretes for so long, but how good is that I stopped this habit. About material realizations please remind that the average successful enterpreneur age is about 45. I only started being able to save serious, retirement-style money when…

But cycling doesn't cut it, right? Especially when you do it daily, you build some kind of immunity. Can't even sweat from cycling. Of course, it depends on duration and probably weather. I guess winter affected my experience. Running is way better for me.

Running can be hard on the joints though. A mix of different exercize is best, if you can manage it. Both for health and to keep it interesting. I do running, cycling, swimming and kick boxing (less swimming during COVID).
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