If you are seriously worried about that, it's a huge sign you're not committed. Tiny resale value is preferable here.
Committed doesn't mean that there's zero chance of a failed relationship. In fact, there's a rather high chance that any given relationship will fail these days. There's nothing wrong by realizing that it's a possibility and it shouldn't signal non-commitment.
Yes there is. It's like the classic burning of your ships once you've landed. Once you know there's no turning back, you have no option but to make things work by going forwards.
Yup, I've had a similar conversation. Basically came down to some variation on "I don't ask for a lot (she doesn't), but I want the diamond ring."
>>Basically came down to some variation on "I don't ask for a lot (she doesn't), but I want the diamond ring." As some one newly married, I have observed the following. 1. See . Demand for it. 2. When rationally explained why we can't buy it. 3. Simply state.. "I don't ask for a lot, but I want the ." 4. I buy it. Repeat steps 1 - 4 endlessly.
That sounds like the process with my 3 year old daughter ;-) (though never my wife, luckily)
There is an enormous difference between wanting financial security and wanting someone to buy them a giant diamond ring as a token of it.
No, there isn't. If the girl is even slightly intelligent, she will want proof of that financial security and a diamond ring is adequate proof that she can verify on her own.
If she's even slightly intelligent they will have discussed finances well ahead of the wedding, probably lived together for some time and know the situation very well.
I don't think there has to be merely one single solitary reason for the popularity of diamonds. Whenever you see profound effects (in this case, a massive number of people people grossly overpaying for a useless rock), it's worth considering the possibility that you have several strong forces all pushing in the same direction. In this case, yes, advertising doesn't hurt. But there are plenty of other factors that may…
csallen, thank you for thinking of making a list! I do have one or two more reasons to add to your list. 1. Cognitive dissonance reduction: he spent so much, so to avoid cognitive dissonance he's going to tell himself she's worth it. Helps keep marriages together. It is the same reason that hazing ritual happen in college and why secret societies have all sorts of strange initiation rituals, often hazardous or diffic…
An anecdotal data point: a friend used to work with a man who had married right out of high school, as had most of his classmates. At that point, probably 15 or 20 years out, this marriage was one of the few still intact. The man's observation was that in this group, the length of marriage was inversely proportional to the cost of the wedding.
Noting that the Atlantic article is 30 years old. More recently I was able to sell a diamond for approx. what someone paid for it roughly 10 or 12 years ago. It didn't appreciate but it didn't exactly loose value over the retail purchase. ymmv for sure but this is one data point from my personal experience. (Gave the diamond ring on consignment to a jeweler and after 2 years it sold not sure what the retail buyer pai…
Sure it did. There's been inflation over the last ten years. That amount of money has less buying power than it did.
Indeed. If you had invested $10,000 in the total US stock market 10 years ago, you'd have $20,000 now. (And that's with a major market crash in the middle!) So the diamond has actually lost 50% of its value.
I am not sure what you guys buy in the US as engaging rings, but I think one can safely assume a ring is not worth even a tenth of an house?
I am from the UK. :P "We" spend on average three months worth of salary. Around £5k I guess. Certainly not enough for a house, but a good amount of money to put towards your first family home when you get married. Houses need furniture and all that fancy stuff. :)
Wait what?
I'm British and I've never heard this three month thing outside of the US. Surely this isn't a UK cultural thing too?
Never been married either, mind, or in a position to propose, so it hasn't exactly come up.
Adoption is a great option for many couples, educated or not. I didn't say otherwise. What I said was that it's not a fully equivalent to having your own kids. Not worse, but not equivalent. If you're educated, high-IQ tiger parents and want to raise highly successful children, statistically you're better off having your own kids than adopting. This is not to say that adopted kids can't be successful or anything like…
>If you're educated, high-IQ tiger parents and want to raise highly successful children, statistically you're better off having your own kids than adopting This is the most depressing thing I read in this whole thread. The idea that one should view raising "highly successful" children as some kind of outcome they can control or influence through "high IQ tigerness" and cold economic analysis is humorous and sad all a…
Committed doesn't mean that there's zero chance of a failed relationship. In fact, there's a rather high chance that any given relationship will fail these days. There's nothing wrong by realizing that it's a possibility and it shouldn't signal non-commitment.
Yes there is. It's like the classic burning of your ships once you've landed. Once you know there's no turning back, you have no option but to make things work by going forwards.
Huh? Having the money to splurge on a ring is a signal of financial fitness because you have the extra money to spend on something that will 'have no return' (so the speak). It's hardly a case of 'burning of your ships.' If you have the financial security to splurge on some ridiculous ring, then it's also possible that you have the ability to just absorb the cost if you don't like the marriage.
Besides, depending on the cost of the ring, and the length of the marriage, it would make you more likely to terminate the marriage over time as the cost of the ring gets amortized over the length of the marriage.
Being a minimalist myself, I know where you come from. Buying something expensive just to show others that you can buy something expensive seems like a ridiculous idea to me. But a big part of the world give a lot of importance to status and social standing. This is precisely the notion that has made money for companies like Rolex. And the haute couture fashion industry.
Look, it's not about the rock, it's about the message: "I would hurt poor people for you." Romantic.