doing things that you genuinely enjoy, without care for others
Ask HN: How to be alone?
571–580 of 592 posts
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#572I recognise the grief that you are feeling. People say time will help with healing, but as it's not a linear process, it is hard to latch onto the hope that it will. But time does let you step through the different stages of grief. It sounds like you are working through it, though. The gaming may seem empty, but it might be a coping strategy as well, and that is letting you come to terms with things, quietly in the background. You are asking questions, how to help yourself, this is a big step. You mention being alone and the effect it is having on you - would there be friends whose company you would enjoy, even for small periods? Meeting up for a walk, say. Small things. From your post, it looks like you are asking the right questions for yourself.
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#573If your antidepressants are based on benzodiazepines, you should seriously consider to switch them off.
While benzodiazepines are highly effective in the short term, adverse effects associated with long-term use, including impaired cognitive abilities, memory problems, mood swings, and overdoses when combined with other drugs, may make the risk-benefit ratio unfavourable. In addition, benzodiazepines have reinforcing properties in some individuals and thus are considered to be addictive drugs, especially in individuals that have a "drug-seeking" behavior; further, a physical dependence can develop after a few weeks or months of use.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_long-term_benzodiaz...
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#574Earlier quoted context omitted.
Coming from a moderate muslim family, my life actually got a huge upgrade when I realised God doesn't exist (at least the way religions describe it).
I know what it's like growing up in a religious atmosphere. Since you've been trained to think inside the box, you realize the box is nonsense. The problem is thinking that the only valid alternative is that there is no creator and everything is just random (the opposite extreme.) Look into other philosophies like advaita vedanta, buddhism, or progressive science like another commenter mentioned about nassim haramein…
I didn't say there's no creator. I'm pretty confident that the God defined by these religions doesn't exist. Since then, I have lived comfortably with knowing enough that I don't know and might never know.
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#575Earlier quoted context omitted.
Coming from a moderate muslim family, my life actually got a huge upgrade when I realised God doesn't exist (at least the way religions describe it).
As a lifelong atheist and critic of organized religion, I congratulate you on your improved frame of mind.
Thank you!
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#576Earlier quoted context omitted.
- gym every day. No excuses. If you don’t know what to do or lack motivation- get a personal trainer. Do you people even go to the gym at all? You need time to recover. Between 3 to 5 days is the most you can humanly do. And that's if you vary your exercises as suggested by a (good) personal trainer. Any more than that and you're just asking for overtraining syndrome. Doubly so if you're nearly 40. Edit: after seeing…
I was wondering the same thing. It already takes a very high level of motivation and self discipline to go 3 times a week, going every day requires superhuman levels to so consistently. This doesn't take into account that your body requires rest, and I don't know how op thinks you can combine this with an active sport like skiing, or something creative like music. You will be drained already from the gym.
Agreed, I like to repeat beneficial things as much as possible but one day your body will send you the bill. There will be some exceptional people that can do that after their 30s but giving you 2 or 3 days of rest is probably the right amount
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#577Find a spiritual center and practice diligently.
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#578[dead]
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#579Earlier quoted context omitted.
There are biological benefits for a male to stick around and being involved. I dont know but Andrew Tate style dudes don't seem particularly happy or fulfilled despite the show they pit on
Yeah, the point I was trying to make was that marriage and family isn't necessarily some kind of evolutionary imperative, and it doesn't really help the argument to pretend it is. There are plenty of benefits to it without having to invent fake scientific connections.
Thanks, I was going to say exactly that. I agree with most of the other comment, but the biological part did not sound correct to me. Biologically, we should impregnate as much people as possible, and monogamous couples would not be the standard.
Re: Ask HN: How to be alone?
#580I haven’t been in exactly the same situation, but I went through a period where my life structure changed suddenly and the quiet felt overwhelming. One thing that helped me realize was that the “hollow” feeling wasn’t really about being alone — it was about losing the rhythm of daily shared life. When you’re used to telling someone small things about your day, even mundane things like fixing blinds or cooking dinner, those moments actually give shape to your day.
When that disappears, everything can feel strangely flat.