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The death of partying in the USA

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Re: The death of partying in the USA

#551

Post by aianus »

jen20 wrote: post #285
red-iron-pine wrote: post #268

Earlier quoted context omitted.

in 2025 anything vaguely desirable in a coastal-ish city is starting at more like 600-700k. actual decent houses will be 1MM or more. the folks in those areas, if you owned a house for the last 20 years, are now richer than ever due to that property appreciating. but the younger generation is absolutely screwed

> if you owned a house for the last 20 years, are now richer than ever due to that property appreciating. Only if you sell it, and move somewhere with a much lower cost of housing.

HELOC and never pay it off until you die

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#552

Post by Izikiel43 »

qualeed wrote: post #391
jamiek88 wrote: post #386

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Social risk is real. You have derailed this by applying it to your different situation but have taken on the emotional offense. Giving your work business card to your kids is different than writing your number down. Again. For the fourth time. Do you get it now? It is social risky whether you like it or not and getting angry and offended on other grown adults behalf, again making it about you when it wasn’t when you…

> Giving your work business card to your kids is different than writing your number down. Again. For the fourth time. Do you get it now? You must have skipped over the entire middle of my comment. > making it about you It's a conversation on a public forum, I do more or less the same thing, I'm chiming in with my experience, yes. But this is obviously unproductive. You're right that I'm defensive over it, which is pr…

I actually like the idea here. When I was a kid it was always give the landline number of the friend's house, or it's in the class list from school.

Nowadays landlines are more or less gone, so the card approach is a good one.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#553

Post by kurthr »

millipede wrote: post #455

I've been throwing moderately large parties the past 2 years (12-40 people) and the lack of partying is definitely noticeable. Most people don't reciprocate, making it disheartening to keep doing it. I wanted to build friendships out of it, and hopefully get invited to more parties myself, but so far it hasn't happened. It's a decent amount of set up (cleaning, buying food, coordinating), and a lot of clean up after…

That's about the right size for a potluck. Set a rough guide for the main and have people post what they're bringing. If they're good friends they'll put their dishes in the washer/sink and some will help clean before they leave. If they aren't good guests (bring something + fun + clean up) they don't get invited back. Have it once a month on the same day. Plan to rotate it and talk about it at the party.

Of course people have all sorts of different ideas of what a party should be, what to bring, and what to do while you're there, but doing it all yourself is really hard. If you're getting it catered with cleaning staff, it's very different than having mostly the same close friends, month after month year after year.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#554

Post by vel0city »

Auracle wrote: post #513
mcgrath_sh wrote: post #465

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There is a happy medium between the "hotels every other weekend year round" travel/club sports and no sports, which is sports for your school or community teams. If I ever have kids I absolutely want to enroll them in sports. It will absolutely not be the travel/club teams that means us going to hotels every other weekend. I am probably naïve in thinking that it is possible to play for your high school without club s…

Apparently in our school you straight up won't be able to play in the regular school teams unless you do the travel teams starting in elementary school, because everyone else does it. Therefore, your child won't be as good as them unless they're an absolute savant at the sport. They'll still get to be on the team, but actually playing? Probably not.

This is why I hate the trend towards these massive high schools that's been happening for a few decades.

I went to a small school. I was able to participate in a ton of different clubs. Varsity football players had big roles in the spring musicals. If you wanted to be a part of something and were even halfway decent one could have some chance of actually being a part of it. But when it's one varsity team of 50ish players for a school of 7,000 the odds of ever actually playing are slim to none.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#555

Post by hn_throwaway_99 »

ethan_smith wrote: post #433
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #249

This was a post on the GenX subreddit (from a Gen Zer) from just a couple days ago asking about if parties as portrayed in late 90s/early 00s "teen movies" were actually a real thing: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenX/comments/1lu102v/were_parties_... The responses from the Gen Xers were a mix of bewilderment and sadness, stuff like "What do you mean parties like this, it's just a normal teenage party!? I feel so ancient…

Digital socialization has replaced many functions of physical parties - Discord hangouts, gaming sessions, and video calls offer connection without the logistics burden or social risks. The question isn't whether socializing has died, but whether its digital evolution provides the same developmental benefits as in-person gatherings.

I honestly am having trouble believing folks think that digital socialization is anywhere near an acceptable substitute (vs. an adjunct) for in-person socialization. And tons of research supports this. Can't remember the woman who talks about AI meaning "Artificial Intimacy", where you have 1500 "friends" but nobody to feed your cat when you go on vacation.

Here is Scott Galloway talking about the significance of asking someone out in-person vs. online dating, https://youtube.com/shorts/5sq4P5RCIrg

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#556

Post by WorldPeas »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #451
hn_throwaway_99 wrote: post #249

This was a post on the GenX subreddit (from a Gen Zer) from just a couple days ago asking about if parties as portrayed in late 90s/early 00s "teen movies" were actually a real thing: https://www.reddit.com/r/GenX/comments/1lu102v/were_parties_... The responses from the Gen Xers were a mix of bewilderment and sadness, stuff like "What do you mean parties like this, it's just a normal teenage party!? I feel so ancient…

The old "boomer" parties were even wilder. Some girl's parents would leave for the weekend, and she'd quietly invite a friend or two over. Somehow, word would get out, and 400 people would show up, with multiple kegs, and the place would get trashed.

I think you need some sort of youth density for that. If you live in a low-density suburb where most people no longer have kids it's hard, even if you have a tool like the internet.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#557

Post by stockresearcher »

conductr wrote: post #421
1shooner wrote: post #388

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The demands on kids and families I'd like to understand this more. Families like this that I know talk about it as though it's as unavoidable as their mortgage, but functionally isn't this entirely self-imposed? Is it a lack of vision for an alternative? Are whole families succumbing to peer pressure? I don't relate to it.

My son is starting 1st grade this fall, has been at same school since he was 3 and it goes through high school so, these are and will be his peers and it starts as major FOMO/it's the main way kids socialize outside of school hours. Good way to burn off their energies, etc. But it's also, they're young, we want to expose them to everything, they can find their "thing", etc. He does tons of non-Athletic stuff too (STE…

> So we've been playing soccer, baseball, flag football, basketball, lacrosse, swimming, etc. the last few years

Swimming is great. USA Swimming has a well-developed system. Elite kids get sorted into the serious clubs where they swim with Olympic champions, etc. But the vast majority of the clubs are rec level and focus on getting lots of people swimming and having fun. Everyone gets a USA Swimming ID number and times are entered into the national system; they get tracked no matter what. Late developers can still be sucked into the elite system if they earn it. Your local park district swim club most likely is in a conference where they compete against other park districts in your county. The only problem is that there are so many kids and races that a meet probably lasts 5 hours.

Soccer is likely to get better. MLS and NWSL teams are developing their youth training systems like in Europe, with success as young kids going through these systems are playing professionally in North America and Europe. They are going to keep sucking the air out of the "elite travel soccer" scam and hopefully what is left are the fun clubs for the kids.

Baseball is likely to get worse. MLB took over the baseball minor leagues and reduced the number of teams. With fewer professional spots available, the "elite" clubs are more and more important to getting kids into them.

Basketball and football, same deal. Lacrosse? Universities couldn't care less about it anymore. It's a dead sport, many parents haven't figured it out yet.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#558

Post by lapcat »

conductr wrote: post #532
lapcat wrote: post #434

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes? That's the point. Even the Gen Xers with strong geeky/nerdy predilections had parties back in the day.

People change. Just because a Gen X is nerdy/chronically online now, doesn't mean they didn't party in the pre-internet era. I'm one of them that fits that mold. I've probably withdrawn more from society specifically because I had the entertainment of being online, tons of knowledge to consume, a tool to build digital things, etc. I had none of that in most of the 90s, so I went to raves and keg parties every weekend…

> People change.

Yes, and also society changes people. I think that's the point, and you allude to it:

> I've probably withdrawn more from society specifically because I had the entertainment of being online, tons of knowledge to consume, a tool to build digital things, etc. I had none of that in most of the 90s

The younger generations are suprised that we used to party all the time, because they never had a chance to live under the same circumstances.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#559

Post by mtalantikite »

1shooner wrote: post #388
germinalphrase wrote: post #364

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was a HS teacher for about a decade. The demands on kids and families around youth sports (especially private/club leagues) is out of control. I had students, 14/15-years-old, going to their school team practice then club team practice, not getting home until past 9 pm every night. Families from three states away would enroll their kids in my school half of the year to play on the hockey team (staying with local sp…

>The demands on kids and families I'd like to understand this more. Families like this that I know talk about it as though it's as unavoidable as their mortgage, but functionally isn't this entirely self-imposed? Is it a lack of vision for an alternative? Are whole families succumbing to peer pressure? I don't relate to it.

I think a lot of families are also optimizing for university admissions. Strong athletes often have an easier time with admissions (assuming they're also good academically).

I remember having an interview with an engineering professor from Tufts when I was applying to schools, and one of the first things he asked me was what team sports I played. Being a typical nerdy kid I avoided athletics -- even though I was good at them -- and was surprised that he was so adamant about team sports. I didn't even take gym class after 9th grade because I figured out how to get an exemption, which, looking back at it, probably made my college applications weaker.

This was in 2001, and I can only imagine it's gotten worse.

Re: The death of partying in the USA

#560

Post by WorldPeas »

lurk2 wrote: post #541
starkparker wrote: post #508

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Gen Z in particular is deathly afraid of having an earnest but unflattering moment captured in someone else's TikTok and distributed to the entire planet.

What are you basing that off of?

there are several videos with captions like "bro is dancing" on the internet where the one person trying to be themselves at the function is recorded. It's sad really, at many bigger name venues I see fewer people dancing now, though maybe it's because the drinks aren't as cheap as they used to be.
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