Consider this aphorism every time you want to procrastinate: "Make decisions based on what will lead to happiness, not what avoids discomfort." Think it over...
Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
51–60 of 83 posts
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#52I managed to change a bad habit of mine--I've always had a problem getting up early. I changed this two years ago when I moved into a new house with large full-length windows in the bedroom. I discovered that when I kept the drapes open, I would consistently wake up around 6:30. With the extra time, I'm not rushed in the morning and even work out a few days per week.
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#53Earlier quoted context omitted.
Meh, actually that's a good point. My first time living abroad was also in Japan, and come to think of it a good many people there were just there to party. For it to be positive you actually have to try and learn the language and engage in the culture. Also, the fact that I lived with a home stay family and made local friends helped (established meaningful relationships with locals).
I wasn't there to party, either. I was mostly hanging out with 50 year old salarymen! Frat boys on spring break in Cancun have got nothing on Japanese middle managers. I'll never understand how the Japanese have achieved the longest average lifespan. I'm a lightweight... if I had gotten wrapped up in the typical asian expat tweaker scene I'd probably already be dead.
Heh, ah memories, I can somewhat relate. I was a student in Japan, but spent a bunch of time hanging out with Taiwanese business men in southern China after that. The first block of time I spent there (relatively short) I couldn't speak mandarin at all, and it was pretty miserable experience. The second block of time I spent there, my mandarin had gotten pretty decent, and so I was able to flip everything into a learning experience...from learning words in Chinese like "static IP address" to how to politely refuse a karaoke prostitute my host habitually tried to force on me, those are some life and language experience I didn't get in the classroom =\
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#54Thanks for asking this. I've been feeling the same way lately and many of the suggestions here seem like great ideas. Time to set my homepage to dontbreakthechain.com and hit the gym!
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#55I, like you, spend a great deal of my time "up in the clouds,"so to speak. Grandiose, whimsical ideas are for the most part what keep me going, and do well to quell the drudgery of routine/secondary education. All I can say is a bit of pragmatism (which is borderline sacrilege to the ears of a dreamer) goes a long way in overcoming inhibitions or procrastination.
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#56Is your personality type 'INTP', perchance? INTPs have these constant internal battles. We're good at concentrating and love working in the realm of ideas. However, we're often an impractical lot and procrastination is pretty rampant among the other INTPs I know. The biggest problem, I think, is that we just really suck at perceiving the passage of time, and the daydreaming, writing, or discussion of ideas is often r…
My basic conclusion about the "personality" issues regarding INTPs is that INTPs think way too much about personality. Once I stopped over-analyzing everything as it related to my "personality traits" and how I felt so weird and different from the general population, life got so much easier. Isn't there a saying something like . . .
"Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less."
That said, the MBTI can be a useful tool to help in communicating with others (understanding how they see the world, for example), but over-analysis on the personal psych issues can easily escalate into a big, bleak black hole of self-perpetuating discontent. Sometimes you just have to kick yourself out of your own rut by doing something drastic. Get out of your comfort zone. Put yourself into extremely uncomfortable zones. For the INTP, this usually involves being around people.
Disclaimer: I've tested INTP.
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#57Is your personality type 'INTP', perchance? INTPs have these constant internal battles. We're good at concentrating and love working in the realm of ideas. However, we're often an impractical lot and procrastination is pretty rampant among the other INTPs I know. The biggest problem, I think, is that we just really suck at perceiving the passage of time, and the daydreaming, writing, or discussion of ideas is often r…
I'm on the border between INTP/J. Was definitely an INTP as a kid, then have gradually moved towards the J, such that I'd probably test as INTJ if I took it now.
For me, it helped being exposed to people who Got Things Done. My high school was a startup, my teachers were a bunch of go-getter early-20-somethings, and one of the school's founders was an experienced entrepreneur. That started my shift towards the dark side of the force.
Then when I got to college (still very much an INTP), I volunteered to rewrite a major Harry Potter fanfiction archive and couldn't exactly back out without disappointing 100k users or so. I think the experience of pushing through on that and finishing it was a major portion of what led me to believe I could finish other stuff as well.
It also helped that I can now concentrate on stuff I like doing and avoid much of the stuff I hate. I used to always procrastinate on writing papers - now, I just don't have to, because I went into computers. (Ironically, I still sorta write fiction as a hobby, but I'm as unproductive with it as I ever was with my school papers.)
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#58You described me exactly except I'm only 22. I've lost a pretty serious relationship as well because I became a very "going through the motions" kind of guy and basically stopped really caring about anything.
My advice is to get yourself a mind mapping tool (xmind is free) and name the center item "Life" and just put down everything in your life on there. I just did this and have branches for Projects, Work, School, Social, Personal, and Financial. Fill up the the whole thing with both where you are and where you want to be.
I have found that having everything objectively in front of me instead of floating around my head drastically improves my ability to line them up and evaluate everything for what it's worth. By having it all laid out in front of you, you can see what areas need attention and which ones can hold off for a while.
Also, ideas aren't a bad thing. I find myself drowning in new ideas, almost to an ADHD level of lack of focus. The best thing you can do is pick 2 or even 3 of the main ones you want to focus on and write down everything else. You don't want to forget your ideas but at the same time you don't want to lose focus, so keep a notebook full of everything you think of until you have time to go through it.
Bite sized chunks are really important too. I fell into a lot of financial troubles because I just stopped caring, stopped opening my bills, just overall gave up. If that's the case, go through your finances and find out exactly how much you need to live on, add a few hundred for just in case, and divide that by 20 to find out roughly what you need to be making on a normal work day to get by. That way you can see at a moment's notice if you're working enough or not.
Lastly, I kind of just started feeling really guilty about the way I was acting. It didn't take much for me to drop everything and head to the bars with friends, and that lack of self control greatly impeded my ability to get work done. I've since developed a bad taste in my mouth and am consciously working on making sure I don't screw around as much.
It's easy to be lazy man, it happens. You have to harness your willpower to pull yourself out of the rut. Start small, track everything, and improve upon yesterday always. You'll get there, it just takes active thought to make it happen. Good luck.
EDIT: I almost forgot a big part of fixing things. Make lists. For everything. Grocery Lists, todo lists, goal lists. Todo Lists are the most important thing to help with procrastination.
What's important to remember is to make everything on your todo list "actionable" (to borrow from GTD). so don't put "build website for Greg"...instead put "setup server, install CMS, mockup template, etc...you want individual, achievable items, so that you can both: see what needs to be done, and see what has been done. This is key to you breaking your habit...
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#59Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yes. This advice is similar to Jerry Seinfeld's, which I also find to be excellent. http://lifehacker.com/software/motivation/jerry-seinfelds-pr...
The seinfeld method is amazing. I rarely flossed my teeth but, for some odd reason, really wanted to make it a habit. I used the seinfeld method for 2 months (guess I'm a slow learner) and now I floss every single day no matter what.
Other method for getting into flossing: marry a dentist. Worked for me at least...
Re: Have you ever been successful in changing your personality?
#60It takes 30 days to form a new habit. You just have to get there. Routine is the key. And early mornings are the best, because you never have the excuse to say "I've had a shitty day at work, all I want is a pizza and a beer". For me it was the gym. Every morning (almost!) I roll in there at 6am before I'm even really awake. "Alright, lads" I say, "alright", they reply, it's always the same crowd, they are very serio…