compliment people - if you're unlikely to see them again. just being kind goes a long way.
if you see them frequently - just acknowledgement at first goes a long way before saying something. i.e the head nod | smile
Talking to strangers at the gym
51–60 of 810 posts
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#52If you want to build a relationship with someone, try asking them for a small favor rather than offering one first* (or, for example, making random small talk about the weather). Most people love to help and feel useful. If you're new to the gym or want to learn a new exercise, you can simply ask for help. It's something we'naturally do if we weren't so afraid of approaching strangers. *just paraphrasing a famous quo…
I have heard this repeated across books and podcasts for years but I’ve only seen it fail in person. Maybe it might not fail if the “favor” isn’t really a favor at all but instead something almost completely effortless like asking for the time or directions to the bathroom. However when someone is at the gym and another stranger asks them to stop and do a favor that takes time out of their gym visit it’s just annoyin…
You need to find a better gym then...
"Hey man, can you spot me?" Is a pretty universal request, and frequently honored. Once you are done with your set, offer to spot them, and while you are both resting after your respective sets, start up some small talk. If small talk works, continue to bigger conversations.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#53Instead of a gym another options are joining volunteer groups, a fraternity order (Oddfellow / Rebekahs), a local D&D meetup or local motorcycle club.
Sharing a common interest is the easiest way to make new friends.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#54> Old gay with tattoo of Osiris eye Was this a typo or … ?
OP doesn't strike me as judgmental so probably a typo.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#55[dead]
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#56Good for you, OP! Climbing gyms are especially good for making friends because you are working on problems with people. My gym has a weekly meet up for people looking for belay partners as well as classes where folks talk. Crossfit might also do the trick, as might a running club. Good luck!
I completely agree with climbing gyms!
I'm lucky enough that I live in a city that has a newbie-friendly group that climbs every week and goes for dinner and board games afterwards.
I consider myself an introvert, but after going for a while, I got to figure out who are regulars, and they recognise me as a new regular too, at which point they're more open to socialising more, even outside the weekly meetups.
Even when I'm bouldering alone, I've had random people cheer for me when I'm about to send, or show me the beta for a route I'm struggling with, or ask for help with a problem. It just provides a very natural conversation starter, at which point you can pivot to other topics, provided they seem open to talking more.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
wtf, how do you even get consent before contact?
Start by repeatedly occupying the same room and seeing if the other person doesn't leave. Then you can graduate to very brief eye contact. Then maybe 'hi' to the whole room and seeing if the person responds. Longer eye contact. A nod. Negative response at any point = back to square 1.
Don't forget to ask for consent about being in the same room, before getting in the same room!
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#58If you want to build a relationship with someone, try asking them for a small favor rather than offering one first* (or, for example, making random small talk about the weather). Most people love to help and feel useful. If you're new to the gym or want to learn a new exercise, you can simply ask for help. It's something we'naturally do if we weren't so afraid of approaching strangers. *just paraphrasing a famous quo…
I have heard this repeated across books and podcasts for years but I’ve only seen it fail in person. Maybe it might not fail if the “favor” isn’t really a favor at all but instead something almost completely effortless like asking for the time or directions to the bathroom. However when someone is at the gym and another stranger asks them to stop and do a favor that takes time out of their gym visit it’s just annoyin…
Depends. I'm an introvert, but lifting is my second passion. I've noticed someone doing a lift I want to get better at and asked them for advice, form check, etc and they're usually excited to share the hobby. The reverse is true too.
: After astrophotography, before cycling
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#59If you want to build a relationship with someone, try asking them for a small favor rather than offering one first* (or, for example, making random small talk about the weather). Most people love to help and feel useful. If you're new to the gym or want to learn a new exercise, you can simply ask for help. It's something we'naturally do if we weren't so afraid of approaching strangers. *just paraphrasing a famous quo…
I have heard this repeated across books and podcasts for years but I’ve only seen it fail in person. Maybe it might not fail if the “favor” isn’t really a favor at all but instead something almost completely effortless like asking for the time or directions to the bathroom. However when someone is at the gym and another stranger asks them to stop and do a favor that takes time out of their gym visit it’s just annoyin…
Yeah, that sounds like really bad advice.
Personally I would read this as a weak, but noticeable signal of being a person who is okay with taking advantage of others. Most people are too embarrassed to ask complete strangers for actual favours.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#60I've been going to the gym for the past year after exclusively running in solitude. I am still introverted at the gym .. it's sort of my time. But I do appreciate overhearing the conversations which occur.
It's been nice to hear 60-something retirees chat about their health, quitting alcohol, sorting out the pickleball schedule, and sometimes politics (although honestly much more rare relative to the others listed)
I love the community some folks create in the gym.