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Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

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Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#51

Post by mathisfun123 »

dprkh wrote: post #20
mathisfun123 wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I have ever had on cold-apply, including internships FYI cold-applying to bigtech (e.g., FAANG) is like throwing your application away. Pro-tip: ping people on LinkedIn and ask for a referral. If you're a decent candidate they'll happily do it because there's a O(1k) referral/hiring bonus at all of these companies.

Does that include internships as well or regular positions only?

Yes.

Edit: sorry internships don't usually carry a referral bonus but people are usually helpful enough to refer for internships "for free".

Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#53

Post by exe34 »

watwut wrote: post #40
zahradeenie wrote: post #34

Choosing is a big one. Something I learned later in life about emotional maturity and controlling your emotions is that it's just choosing to feel an emotion. Like, feeling angry for longer than I needed because I didn't know how to make the choice to feel happy or calm. Of course there's more nuance to it but I agree with choosing

No, people are not choosing emotions. You can show them or not, but it is not true that one "chooses" them.

My favourite example from my own experience is cycling through hail. I used to hate it. It made me miserable. My face hurts. My body is cold. I just want to die.

Once I started playing around with the ideas of Stoicism, I decided to try an experiment. The next time I got caught out by hail while cycling, I raised my fist up in the air and said "fuck you Universe, this is exactly what I wanted, you fell for my plan!".

I felt a lot better. I like to think of it like the Sith in Star Wars. Whenever they get their butt kicked, they go "It is as I had forseen!" I no longer get surprised by events.

Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#54

Post by dukeyukey »

linkregister wrote: post #17
Hasz wrote: post #7

> How to Get a Job Idk about this, I have gotten almost every job I have ever had on cold-apply, including internships. The only one that wasn't that way was talking to a (internal) recruiter in college. Don't discount that path. I did not have the best grades or anything, but (IMO) a mix of skills that was a good fit for the job at hand and confidence I could apply them. Most of the people you will interact with in…

That's fascinating. I know only a handful of people who got their jobs through cold applying. The majority of my friends were either referred by colleagues or received inbound recruiter email. That is, with the exception of my cohort in CS undergrad; we attended our university career fair for out entry into the workforce. It's heartening to know that the cold apply method can be successful.

How did they get colleagues in the first place without cold-applying?

Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#55

Post by phyzix5761 »

praash wrote: post #46
phyzix5761 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Emotions are not controllable or choosable but our reactions to them are trainable. One good technique for this is mindfully observing and labelling the emotion until it goes away; not trying to change it but also not acting on it. With practice one can observe the emotion subsiding within a minute or so. This, eventually, leads to less emotional reaction overall because we're taking away the habitual pattern of the…

You are controlling your emotions with that technique, accepting and waiting emotions out is just not the only option. Getting indoors from a cold rain is an obvious choice. I can't really decide to stop shivering, but changing my clothes and grabbing a hot chocolate helps. It still takes a while to warm back up, meanwhile I can actively choose not to open windows or go right back in the rain.

Yes, you can try to set up the right conditions for the emotions to subside which is non reaction but you can't choose when they subside or when they arise. I read OP as saying that you can directly choose which emotion you experience and when you experience it.

Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#56

Post by zahradeenie »

praash wrote: post #46
phyzix5761 wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Emotions are not controllable or choosable but our reactions to them are trainable. One good technique for this is mindfully observing and labelling the emotion until it goes away; not trying to change it but also not acting on it. With practice one can observe the emotion subsiding within a minute or so. This, eventually, leads to less emotional reaction overall because we're taking away the habitual pattern of the…

You are controlling your emotions with that technique, accepting and waiting emotions out is just not the only option. Getting indoors from a cold rain is an obvious choice. I can't really decide to stop shivering, but changing my clothes and grabbing a hot chocolate helps. It still takes a while to warm back up, meanwhile I can actively choose not to open windows or go right back in the rain.

Yeah, this is what I meant. I used to let anger sit with me for hours and derail most of my day.

But now I'm better at deciding to let negative emotions go and feel happy or calm.

Making choices to change your situation will change your feelings so I do believe feelings are a choice to be made in most situations.

Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#57

Post by roncesvalles »

nunez wrote: post #47
mettamage wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

2 years of job hopping is almost a death sentence in some countries.

You can also "job hop" internally if you want to stay at the same company but want a new experience. The thing about huge companies is that they're huge! You can switch to a team that functions completely differently from the team or org that you were in before.

Exactly and this is why I say there isn't much difference between a resume where they switched jobs every 2 years and a resume where they stayed at Google or Amazon or 10 years, because the Google guy was probably also "switching jobs" every 2 years, just internally.

Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#58

Post by DANmode »

linkregister wrote: post #17
Hasz wrote: post #7

> How to Get a Job Idk about this, I have gotten almost every job I have ever had on cold-apply, including internships. The only one that wasn't that way was talking to a (internal) recruiter in college. Don't discount that path. I did not have the best grades or anything, but (IMO) a mix of skills that was a good fit for the job at hand and confidence I could apply them. Most of the people you will interact with in…

That's fascinating. I know only a handful of people who got their jobs through cold applying. The majority of my friends were either referred by colleagues or received inbound recruiter email. That is, with the exception of my cohort in CS undergrad; we attended our university career fair for out entry into the workforce. It's heartening to know that the cold apply method can be successful.

Nepotism, (existing for better or for worse), varies wildly from firm to firm,

region to region.

Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#59

Post by DANmode »

vector_spaces wrote: post #4

I'm sorry to hate but it's extremely rich to write > Do not send me anything longer than you would send to a crush. Some people email me six-paragraph essays about the time they saved a cat from a tree ...in a rambling piece that is not written with much consideration for the reader. I know this is just a blog post, ostensibly written for the author's younger sister, but if the author really wishes to position himsel…

Your criticism is rambling, as well,

and the “self-identifying as lucky vs unlucky study” was both real,

and fascinating.

Re: Advice to young people, the lies I tell myself (2024)

#60

Post by bigstrat2003 »

exe34 wrote: post #53
watwut wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, people are not choosing emotions. You can show them or not, but it is not true that one "chooses" them.

My favourite example from my own experience is cycling through hail. I used to hate it. It made me miserable. My face hurts. My body is cold. I just want to die. Once I started playing around with the ideas of Stoicism, I decided to try an experiment. The next time I got caught out by hail while cycling, I raised my fist up in the air and said "fuck you Universe, this is exactly what I wanted, you fell for my plan!".…

That comparison to the Sith is great! I'm going to try to adopt that approach in my life. If nothing else, it will keep me amused, which is worth something.
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