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Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

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Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#51

Post by spicymapotofu »

psd1 wrote: post #23
xnavra50 wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agreed. But isnt feminism about equality? Look, the inequality on Dating Apps is natural - it is a result of biologic difference between genders and their behavior. Certainly nothing wrong with that - you dont correct these. The others - like salaries, (which are of course also subjects to these differences) they want to correct them. Why? Because it benefits them - to have their cake and to eat it.

Another way to look at it is that the dating asymmetry comes from risk asymmetry. The big risks are pregnancy, violence, and slut-shaming, and those fall far more on females than males. - Pregnancy is a solved problem in humane technological societies. - Violence by men against women could be ameliorated significantly by teaching boys better and prosecuting sex crime better. - Slut-shaming is just jealous recidivist…

I've often wondered if/how education of young men relates to violence against women. I've no experience with the conductors of this activity, at least AFAIK, and I find it hard to believe that it's an issue that could be impacted by schooling. My school life featured no direct education about this topic, but I came from a high-trust small community, so maybe I'm missing the bigger picture. Do men just see women as less human, leading to this violence?

Are there reputable sources for this connection, or is it a folk myth? Given the heat of the topic, I don't trust myself to find such a source without going down rabbit holes.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#52

Post by yottron »

cedws wrote: post #28

At risk of making myself look like a loser, I'll share my experience. I have tried dating apps and occasionally get matches but it never really turns into anything. When you realise the girl on the other side has an abundance of men blowing up her phone with first messages, you realise it's hopeless. The usual advice is to date through your network of friends instead, but I'm a very solitary individual. I haven't got…

[dead]

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#53

Post by throw9away6 »

cedws wrote: post #28

At risk of making myself look like a loser, I'll share my experience. I have tried dating apps and occasionally get matches but it never really turns into anything. When you realise the girl on the other side has an abundance of men blowing up her phone with first messages, you realise it's hopeless. The usual advice is to date through your network of friends instead, but I'm a very solitary individual. I haven't got…

What does yourself out there mean? Basically that you have to work it like a job. You need to go out when to don’t feel like it, go do activities that maybe aren’t super interesting but have the right demographic. You also you have to sell yourself. It’s like working a sales position, you need to be starting conversations with strangers even though it feels weird, you need to be asking for numbers and following up dating is just another form of work. Read, do research, improve your product and try again, and again and again x1000. Also lower your standards in the beginning. if you are 22 and never been in a relationship you need to start somewhere and that would be with less beautiful women. Then if you keep practicing and building up skills you can date more attractive women.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#54

Post by CrackerNews »

xnavra50 wrote: post #9
taccicardia wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

Agreed. But isnt feminism about equality? Look, the inequality on Dating Apps is natural - it is a result of biologic difference between genders and their behavior. Certainly nothing wrong with that - you dont correct these. The others - like salaries, (which are of course also subjects to these differences) they want to correct them. Why? Because it benefits them - to have their cake and to eat it.

There are different interpretations on equality, and I would say that the inequality in dating markets are a result of the markets as opposed to "nature."

Marriage used to be a familial tool for economics and politics, but it has shifted to being for "love." Did "nature" change or is it culture? However, "love" is ambiguous but some of its reasons seem to have roots in the old ways, such as money, power, or prestige. A person can be good looking and charming, but they need to be capable of providing for their partner. It would be rational for women to select for the best fit, and the imbalance of salaries could influence the imbalance in the dating market.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#55

Post by throw9away6 »

gizmo wrote: post #32
cedws wrote: post #28

At risk of making myself look like a loser, I'll share my experience. I have tried dating apps and occasionally get matches but it never really turns into anything. When you realise the girl on the other side has an abundance of men blowing up her phone with first messages, you realise it's hopeless. The usual advice is to date through your network of friends instead, but I'm a very solitary individual. I haven't got…

It's not hopeless. In fact, online dating is the most common path to finding a partner. That said, you have to set yourself apart somehow. Different for every individual, and it takes a serious amount of effort. But it's not impossible, and it's not hopeless, and it's not pointless, and I sympathize and understand why you currently feel that it is.

I honestly think if online is your bet you should probably just pay an expert to setup an excellent profile. The amount of time you waste figuring out how to do it correctly you would be better off paying 5k or whatever to start correctly.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#56

Post by red-iron-pine »

c7DJTLrn wrote: post #35
gizmo wrote: post #32

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not hopeless. In fact, online dating is the most common path to finding a partner. That said, you have to set yourself apart somehow. Different for every individual, and it takes a serious amount of effort. But it's not impossible, and it's not hopeless, and it's not pointless, and I sympathize and understand why you currently feel that it is.

>In fact, online dating is the most common path to finding a partner. Yeah, and those people are on uppermost part of the attractiveness scale. If you're average or below, you're going to be spending a LOT of time and effort on an app just for a single date. Do you really want to be spending hours of your day rolling the dice to play a fundamentally rigged game? Even the algorithms of these apps have bias. If your pr…

I can think of two (2) married couples off of the top of my head who met through either Match.com or Tinder. And at least two more who met, dated for a while (1+ years), and split.

I wouldn't describe any of of them as ugly, but most weren't on the "uppermost part of the attractiveness scale"

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#57

Post by red-iron-pine »

FireBeyond wrote: post #43

One of my friends, as a broke college student, worked for a 'sugardaddy' site. Her job was to manage the inboxes of all the fake profiles (and the site had a dedicated UI for her and others, that all the profiles were tagged internally, and their inboxes were amalgamated and she'd work through messages). Her remit was to respond to the messages, and she could choose, but some should be "thanks no thanks", some non-co…

what was the point of this interaction? to make the site look like there were actually users?

or was she just scamming people?

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#59

Post by wooque »

opwieurposiu wrote: post #41
cedws wrote: post #28

At risk of making myself look like a loser, I'll share my experience. I have tried dating apps and occasionally get matches but it never really turns into anything. When you realise the girl on the other side has an abundance of men blowing up her phone with first messages, you realise it's hopeless. The usual advice is to date through your network of friends instead, but I'm a very solitary individual. I haven't got…

I solved this problem with one year of lifting weights and dancing lessons. About 2hr/day 6day/week time commitment. It is not quick or easy, but it is simple and very effective. When you have muscle, girls on the bus will come sit next to you and chat you up. They forgive you if you speak inelegantly. When you can dance your body language and posture will make people feel at ease. It was a strange experience for me…

Nope, there are no simple solutions. I have a friend who goes to gym and salsa lessons and still struggling.

I'd say looks wise, face beauty is more important than body, and your social skills/charisma and more importantly your social status dominates everything.

Re: Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps [video]

#60

Post by throw9away6 »

wooque wrote: post #59
opwieurposiu wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I solved this problem with one year of lifting weights and dancing lessons. About 2hr/day 6day/week time commitment. It is not quick or easy, but it is simple and very effective. When you have muscle, girls on the bus will come sit next to you and chat you up. They forgive you if you speak inelegantly. When you can dance your body language and posture will make people feel at ease. It was a strange experience for me…

Nope, there are no simple solutions. I have a friend who goes to gym and salsa lessons and still struggling. I'd say looks wise, face beauty is more important than body, and your social skills/charisma and more importantly your social status dominates everything.

You have to fish in the right pool for your skills and abilities. The generic advice is to just become a better product, which Is all fine and a good starting point but it’s also very hard and slow going. You are also probably never going to overcome genetics to a level where you can go anywhere and get any girl.

You have to supplement by optimizing other factors. Change where you look based on your strengths, do things you dont really care for because there are opportunities to meet women. Go to gyms tailored to women instead of men. A bunch of little optimization that when coupled with 100s of attempts and 1000s of hours will yield positive results. That’s what hard work looks like, and what you have to do to overcome lack of natural talent.

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