I have spent 4 years in this role, we have built the same system 3 times and only first and second versions are successful. (Generates most of the revenue for our PA) the last product was not engineering driven but product management driven and failed. We are launching a 4th product with new product management and engineering and everything looked promising, everybody was very excited as we will put in practice all the learnings and failures, then suddenly new eng manager comes with 0 background and makes decisions that will set us back again 4 years. I'm going to leave because is hard to stay in a company where the experts are not listened. I guess some new manager come and want to shake the boat making the decisions just because or plans just because...this is normal. I have learn to live with this pattern
Ask HN: Is it just me?
51–60 of 109 posts
Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#52Is a fallout over testing automation really so severe that you have to quit your job? It should be possible to disagree without burning bridges.
Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#53It sucks and it's worse when that happens even before landing into a job. What if you think React should be ended already, it's a clear lose engineering wise. Yet industry can't get of out "hiring reasons", so the CTO's decision is already bad for me before any further conflict.
Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#54I have a similar-ish pattern. I'm in my fifth company now. Shortest tenure: 2 years, longest: 4 years and 11 months. But average is close to 4 years.
Here's my analysis of my own behavior:
- First few months, imposter syndrome. I feel everyone else is smarter than me, the struggle keeps me going. I wake up with a purpose.
- The next few months, I crack the work culture, the codebase and it gives me a sense of victory and the 'kudos's and the 'good job's keeps me going.
- The next few years, I stagnate - Maybe due to burnout, fatigue. Maybe now I get to know I can't be replaced that easily, I slack. But I'll feel that I can always get back to being insecure (a good stress?) if I want to.
- Then at some point, I get bored beyond redemption. If it is not boredom, it will be FOMO.
- There will be a promise of uplevel if I stay a few more years, but I always never want to.
- I quit and find a new job at the same level. Maybe subconsiously I don't want to take a leadership role and chicken out?
Will Larson's blog post called 'A forty-year career' is worth a read.
Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#55I am currently reading non violent communication after seeing a suggestion for it on here. I think communication is an underrated skill set. Mostly because it's so easy to feel like you are good at it when you are really not. I think a lot of us are in the Dunning Kruger phase of communicating.. I know I was up untill a few years ago and I've been in my job (as a 3d artist) for nearly 10 years.
The "non-violent communication" style feels so unnatural though. When people talk to me using it, I feel uneasy and suspicious.
Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#56Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is easier said than done. How do you “try your best” and also disengage when there are things you don’t think are correct, just, etc. For me personally I haven’t been able to find a foolproof solution unless I’m working a contract with very scoped deliverables
I have found that a life of sports has prepared me well for a life of work. Growing up, I got used to "trying my best" and still losing for various reasons - opponent way better than me - had a bad day / off my game - unlucky for some reason What I learned then that has carried into work is that I can try super hard, and still things won't go my way. What I started focusing on in sports was my AVERAGE game. I kept tr…
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Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#57I used to get a little crazy and quit jobs over stupid things. But… Becoming (mostly, I’m a veteran so there’s places to go) homeless, living way below poverty level driving a cab for nine years, getting evicted at the start of the pandemic because I living day to day on cabbie pay, almost becoming homeless again (doubt my parents would have taken me in without the pandemic) and being able, through unemployment benef…
Spot on. It also took me a change for the worse to appreciate having a normal job
Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#58I understand this entirely.
I usually stay around 3 to 3 1/2 years. Not the worst tenure but not the best.
I now prioritize positive feelings, emotions and energy above all.
My goal in all meetings and all interactions is to keep positive emotions high.
What took me a long time to learn as an analytical and technical minded person is that there is a way to be optimistic and positive without being fake or insincere.
I have learned to try to set a positive tone first thing on every call by saying something optimistic and positive.
I also now motivate, encourage and bump people up (often, in a semi joking way).
I spent my career running over people in my way like a freight train. Now i emphasize on making sure the atmosphere is right.
When I was an engineer I felt that logic was the only thing that mattered. In fact( my experience, is that logical discussions and arguments are actually energy draining and viewed as negative by most people.
You could be completely correct on some point, on anything, but if the temperature of the conversation is not jovial or convivial it will be perceived as negativity and that association will stick to you.
Look how Bill Clinton and Warren Buffet enter most conversations. They always keep things light.
If you are a dry, logical, analytical robot - People will find a way to hate you eventually.
Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#59> Typically, I work for an employer for around 3 to 5 years. […] Then around the halfway mark or later, things sour for a variety of different reasons. Typically, I will fall out with someone senior, like my line manager. It's normally over something mundane but definitely technical. This is a red herring. The fact you’ve carried it out this far to the 3-5 mark is extraordinary. Most people move every two years just…
> Most people move every two years In SF. In Atlanta we have 90+% retention at a five year mark.
That's less attrition than I would expect from retirement alone (falsely assuming age was equally distributed)
90%+ doesn't seem plausible
Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?
#60Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is easier said than done. How do you “try your best” and also disengage when there are things you don’t think are correct, just, etc. For me personally I haven’t been able to find a foolproof solution unless I’m working a contract with very scoped deliverables
I have found that a life of sports has prepared me well for a life of work. Growing up, I got used to "trying my best" and still losing for various reasons - opponent way better than me - had a bad day / off my game - unlucky for some reason What I learned then that has carried into work is that I can try super hard, and still things won't go my way. What I started focusing on in sports was my AVERAGE game. I kept tr…
I played in amateur leagues in college. None of the things you mentioned are same category as “teammates phoning in” or “coach is doing stupid shit” or “you’re polishing the bench while less skilled person is playing bc he’s friends with coach”. Which I’m guessing is what OP referring to. Sure when you’re a kid you just want to do good and have fun. When you start taking on more leadership roles things like above become harder to ignore.