I do not relate to this at all. I have a huge network of former coworkers who I keep up with via quick emails and "beers couple times a year" kinds of get togethers. While the work is being done, I'd rather not see them more than I already do, but afterwords, we're like old Army buddies; shared trials and triumphs is a huge thing for normal people.
Perhaps Catholic school had some hidden benefits.
Friends at Work? Not So Much
51–60 of 62 posts
Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#52One thing I find a bit weird, and I suspect it started in America (but I'm not sure), is when colleagues pass each other and they say 'how are you?' and keep walking , making it entirely obvious that they're not really interested in how you are. Or maybe they expect some rapid fire response. Not sure. But I think it would be better to just say 'Hi' if you don't intend to stop and actually talk.
This is an American thing in general, not just a workplace thing. I know that people in other cultures find it quite strange sometimes, and frankly it is when the actual meaning of the words is considered and what their use implies. But it has somehow just become a kind of standard default greeting. I think it's probably meant to imply a kind of warmness to the person it is directed to, kind of like, "nice to see you…
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Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#53One thing I find a bit weird, and I suspect it started in America (but I'm not sure), is when colleagues pass each other and they say 'how are you?' and keep walking , making it entirely obvious that they're not really interested in how you are. Or maybe they expect some rapid fire response. Not sure. But I think it would be better to just say 'Hi' if you don't intend to stop and actually talk.
This is an American thing in general, not just a workplace thing. I know that people in other cultures find it quite strange sometimes, and frankly it is when the actual meaning of the words is considered and what their use implies. But it has somehow just become a kind of standard default greeting. I think it's probably meant to imply a kind of warmness to the person it is directed to, kind of like, "nice to see you…
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Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#54Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is an American thing in general, not just a workplace thing. I know that people in other cultures find it quite strange sometimes, and frankly it is when the actual meaning of the words is considered and what their use implies. But it has somehow just become a kind of standard default greeting. I think it's probably meant to imply a kind of warmness to the person it is directed to, kind of like, "nice to see you…
Yeah a lot of us do it even if we find it awkward, because we feel it's better than seeming cold and smug. It's also kindof an invitation I guess for real talk in case the other party really has something ready to chew on with you. It reminds me of the Dilbert where he's telling Catbert how he was confronted with passing someone he barely knows for the second time in a hallway, where he already gave the empty "hey ho…
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Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#55Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is an American thing in general, not just a workplace thing. I know that people in other cultures find it quite strange sometimes, and frankly it is when the actual meaning of the words is considered and what their use implies. But it has somehow just become a kind of standard default greeting. I think it's probably meant to imply a kind of warmness to the person it is directed to, kind of like, "nice to see you…
Yeah a lot of us do it even if we find it awkward, because we feel it's better than seeming cold and smug. It's also kindof an invitation I guess for real talk in case the other party really has something ready to chew on with you. It reminds me of the Dilbert where he's telling Catbert how he was confronted with passing someone he barely knows for the second time in a hallway, where he already gave the empty "hey ho…
> Yeah a lot of us do it even if we find it awkward, because we feel it's better than seeming cold and smug.
In what universe is a simple greeting cold and smug?
Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#56One thing I find a bit weird, and I suspect it started in America (but I'm not sure), is when colleagues pass each other and they say 'how are you?' and keep walking , making it entirely obvious that they're not really interested in how you are. Or maybe they expect some rapid fire response. Not sure. But I think it would be better to just say 'Hi' if you don't intend to stop and actually talk.
This is an American thing in general, not just a workplace thing. I know that people in other cultures find it quite strange sometimes, and frankly it is when the actual meaning of the words is considered and what their use implies. But it has somehow just become a kind of standard default greeting. I think it's probably meant to imply a kind of warmness to the person it is directed to, kind of like, "nice to see you…
Us who don't like insincere "how are you"'s know that it's an idiom. We're not social retards. But even just going through the insincere, obligatory "fine/good" responses is a pain, because they can cause a dissonance and remind you of the mask that you have to maintain in "polite company".
You can't just turn off word's meanings and associations that conveniently.
Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#57One thing I find a bit weird, and I suspect it started in America (but I'm not sure), is when colleagues pass each other and they say 'how are you?' and keep walking , making it entirely obvious that they're not really interested in how you are. Or maybe they expect some rapid fire response. Not sure. But I think it would be better to just say 'Hi' if you don't intend to stop and actually talk.
Try a response of "Hey, how's it going?" or something similar. I think it works fairly well. If the person actually wants to talk, you can get them started. If they don't, then you don't feel like a schmuck if you gave a real answer that they didn't care about.
Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#58Americans have gone on vacation with 6 percent of their closest co-workers, versus 25 percent in Poland and 45 percent in India. No, the odd ones are the Poles and Indians that are going on vacation with their co-workers....seriously.
Oh, cultures and practices that are different to your own are strange to you, are they? You want a cookie for sharing that enlightening piece of information?
Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#59Earlier quoted context omitted.
I feel similarly, but I also don't want to be friends with my coworkers. I'd rather we keep a friendly, polite distance in our relationships. I love my job, and go to work to actually work: my social interaction comes from elsewhere, on my own terms. I honestly think this keeps things more productive. There's less room for wasting time socializing, or worrying about people feeling left out, or (like you said) offendi…
I honestly think this keeps things more productive So you're just going to ignore the fact that the article notes studies proving the opposite? or anything else that takes time away from work How very Calvinist of you. You spend one third of your day at work, probably half of your conscious hours. Maybe your workplace shouldn't be a soulless machine dedicated only to cold efficiency and productivity? Just a thought.
>> I honestly think this keeps things more productive
> So you're just going to ignore the fact that the article notes studies proving the opposite?
I went back and reread the article. It's just one study as far as I know. This one involving 170 something people in the US: http://psycnet.apa.org/journals/psp/72/4/775/
How was it done ? What was the control group ? How did they choose the members ? Are these some college students as in so many psychological studies ? Does it compare to real world companies hiring people that match the company culture and are professional enough to cooperate in most conditions ?
The more I think about it the more it fels very fluffy and hard to take for granted.
Re: Friends at Work? Not So Much
#60Earlier quoted context omitted.
Yeah a lot of us do it even if we find it awkward, because we feel it's better than seeming cold and smug. It's also kindof an invitation I guess for real talk in case the other party really has something ready to chew on with you. It reminds me of the Dilbert where he's telling Catbert how he was confronted with passing someone he barely knows for the second time in a hallway, where he already gave the empty "hey ho…
> Yeah a lot of us do it even if we find it awkward, because we feel it's better than seeming cold and smug. In what universe is a simple greeting cold and smug ?
It seems to me a lot of people are turned off by it. I'd rather just say "hi" myself when I've got nothing, but I notice people stop responding at all (won't even say hi back) when I do that.
So, this universe.