Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

First things first: I'm not always over it, it is simply better. I still am socially awkward, but I'm in a position that it is simply OK for me to be that way.

I got away from some folks in my life. This helped me be more comfortable in my own skin: I'd rather spend time alone or chatting with online friends than have fake friends in meatspace.

I lived alone for a bit. I understand this isn't available to everyone - I was lucky. What that did mean was that I had to rely on myself a little more and choose a great deal more about my own schedule.

I moved to another country. Suddenly, people understand when I'm awkward. It is fantastic.

I learned to pretend. It isn't like other folks know how nervous you feel inside, and then I find out it passes. I didn't need to really go outside my comfort zone - I simply did things I wanted to do even if i felt nervous. Someone told my mother - when considering a free vacation some months after my father died - that, "You are going to be sad about it wherever you are. Might as well go off and do it somewhere beautiful" Same thing with feeling awkward: If I want to do it, I might as well. I'll feel weird either way.

I did MDMA more than once.

I travelled alone. Similar benefits to living alone, but it is smaller in scope.

Then again, a therapist might do all this faster for you. I always wonder what would have happened if i went this route.

You say this like McDonalds food isn't already habit forming

Heroin and other opiates need to be available over the counter at a store. This is the only way to remove the black market and the fentanyl tainted supply. If you just decriminalize, people still won't be able to get it and will have to go through a black market.

The market doesn't need to be a free for all, we can choose to make advertising the compounds illegal but still make them available.

If you don't fully legalize, the problem never actually gets solved. Pretty much all drug problems are created by prohibition itself. Full stop.

I think what turned me around was positive feedback. IMO the best way to get positive feedback is by being around the right people. You know … open hearted, welcoming folks, who talk to you and know how to listen and ask questions that get you talking. Once I realised that people can actually be interested in what I'm saying, meeting new people felt way less scary.

Now, it might seem difficult to seek "the right people" out yourself, so maybe ask acquaintances to take you along and maybe make introductions so you don't have to break the ice yourself. Something like "Hey, this is dondraper36, he's into X, you told me something about that last time didn't you" can be enough.

I can't understand how someone would recommend the gym. Just like you, I'm not awkward in the gym, but I'm not interested at all in conversation when I'm there.

re "Pretty much all drug problems are created by prohibition itself"

Isn't the US opiod crisis (not heroin specifically) massively driven by the fact that it is fairly easy to get lavish subscription on legal pain killers?

I mean I give it to you that suburbian moms on Vicodin won't roll up to a gas station with a semi-automatic, but they still OD, and that's still a drug problem.

It is mostly practice. You don't become less awkward, you learn it, and if you don't use it, then you'll lose it too. This is important because however you choose to practice engaging, needs to be sustainable for you. Drastic things that you can't keep up are probably not going to give you lasting results.

I recommend taking a bar job, maybe part time. I did that for some time and found my ability to deal with these situations improved dramatically, through the practice of talking with folk at the bar.