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We Have Ruined Childhood

nytimes.com

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Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#401

Post by wincy »

microcolonel wrote: post #379
dmje wrote: post #293

You guys in the States have it bad. I hear terrible stories about the fear that now surrounds any kind of freedom for kids. Over here in the UK we’re a bit better, but the “give them exams ALL the time” and schools being on their knees, financially, are all too familiar. For me, this journey with my kids has been about a massive slew of things, among the most important: - extending their childhood where possible: enc…

> You guys in the States have it bad. I hear terrible stories about the fear that now surrounds any kind of freedom for kids. Over here in the UK we’re a bit better, but the “give them exams ALL the time” and schools being on their knees, financially, are all too familiar Of course, this is all because of lies and locked-in unintended consequences. The schools have no practical reason to be on their knees financially…

The “school system” used to be “20 parents in a town agree to pay a teacher to live here and teach”. If she did a bad job she’d be fired. The incentives are right that way, now the “customer” (ostensibly the parents, or the child) is no longer actually the customer.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#402

Post by Scoutmaster »

hos234 wrote: post #241
Scoutmaster wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What I've observed: they don't want any type of failure for their kids. I'm a Scoutmaster, and I have one parent who lashed out at me because I asked him not to interfere when the Scouts were trying to do something for themselves. I didn't let that affect me, I just thanked him for his feedback. Thankfully, I have the support of everyone else in the troop. What saddens me, is seeing first-hand how bad these parents a…

Newton's father died when he was 3 months old and his mother ditched him as a kid and when she returned years later made him quit school to take care of the pigs. The reason he went on to become the Isaac Newton everyone knows, was because of the role all the other Adults around him played, not his parents. Don't write off that kid. I teach part time and see this a lot. Especially from fellow teachers. Oh this kid ha…

Thank you for your support. Rest easy, I'm not writing off anyone. Perhaps it was because I wrote, "They are going to grow up broken." In reality, we all grow up broken. Nothing will ever be perfect for anyone - not the rich kids, not the kids with loving parents, etc. The best I can do is teach them and give them the tools to be able to handle adversity and find success anyway.

When I was a kid, my situation was different, and it would have been easy for others to write-off me, but they didn't.

I agree with everything you're saying. I'm in Scouting for the kids, not for the adults. I don't know and will never know any of the kids' complete stories, so I hold them all equal and give them the same opportunities to become better people.

Today's kids are tomorrow's leaders.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#403

Post by fangsout »

parasubvert wrote: post #286

It’s a strange article from an outside-US perspective. My 2.5 year old in daycare has lots of play time (at least 3 hours a day), plus at an hour at home in the morning and evening. Usually about 1 hour is on the iPad (Toca Blocks is her free play game), the rest with books, blocks, in the garden with flowers, on her tricycle... The 9 year old’s “before and after school” program is all about free play time, plus two…

I grew up in Florida in the late 80's/early 90's and now have 2 children under the age of 7. Their days are almost exactly as you describe your children's days (and in public school). I think you need to take anything coming from US news with a healthy dose of skepticism. I do think it's healthy to discuss these topics to help remind us of its importance, but it's not as bad as everyone would have you believe in the online world.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#404

Post by nscalf »

dougmwne wrote: post #307
Grzegrzolka wrote: post #295

Earlier quoted context omitted.

USA is just slowly rotting away. From what I read here about how modern life in US looks like I seriously suspect that there will be some kind of massive epidemic mind deseases outburst there in 15-30 years.

That epidemic is here. After the opiod crisis, overdose is now the leading cause of death for those under 50. Suicide is increasing for all age cohorts, not just teenagers. Deaths from alcohol are increasing. Life expextancy in the US has been declining for 3 years. I actually suspect we'll start to get a handle on these problems in the next few years since we're beginning to collectively wake up to the importance of…

You don't have to wait until people get that old to see an epidemic, we have a mass shooting in a school nearly daily.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#405

Post by winchling »

wastedhours wrote: post #349
dmje wrote: post #293

You guys in the States have it bad. I hear terrible stories about the fear that now surrounds any kind of freedom for kids. Over here in the UK we’re a bit better, but the “give them exams ALL the time” and schools being on their knees, financially, are all too familiar. For me, this journey with my kids has been about a massive slew of things, among the most important: - extending their childhood where possible: enc…

> be there: work less, hangout more I keep running across this sentiment, and although I don't have kids yet, is one I intend to take to heart. "Quality time" is largely BS - making time for a piano recital is pointless and can barely make up for the time if you miss the fun and general bonding the rest of the time. I remember the times sat eating dinner on the sofa in front the TV having a laugh with my parents more…

Agreed. One suspects the concept of quality time came in with the rising incidence of divorce.

Where quality time implies some kind of performance or role, which is stressful, hanging out with one's children is wonderful. I find that the compensations more than make up for the difficulties.

I enjoy the company of people who are totally open and forgiving. I get the profound satisfaction of watching them learn. I re-experience and understand anew certain aspects of my own childhood.

Yes, there's work involved, but children like helping too, and can actually help significantly as they get older.

Yet society seems to have things the wrong way around. The zeitgeist has it that marriage and children are something to be put off until one is ready to 'settle down'. Children are an inconvenience and a financial burden which interfere with socialising and career advancement. For example:

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/cs072c/having_kids...

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#406

Post by idoubtit »

nostromo wrote: post #168
xenocyon wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As a parent, I actually do pay attention to CDC stats. And because of this, I am worried - not because of kidnappers, but because of cars - which unlike most other dangers have only gotten deadlier (to pedestrians) over the years (source: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/07/us/pedestrian-deaths.html ). Despite living an urban lifestyle, walking or biking to destinations, and teaching our kid basic traffic safety, we a…

The DOT doesn't show that to be the case. https://cdn3.vox-cdn.com/assets/4315981/DeathsOverTime.png Remember, the correct way to look at this data is per person. The US has 30% more people now than it did in 1990. So, even though there were similar number of deaths, you're children are still safer than you were in 1990. A not-so-fun fact most people don't know: > One in every three of fatal pedestrian crashes involv…

> The DOT doesn't show that to be the case.

Your graph stopped at year 2012 with a rate of 15.1 pedestrian fatalities. The latest report on the CDC website has the following text under "key findings": "In 2016 there were 5,987 pedestrians killed in traffic crashes, a 9-percent increase from the 5,495 pedestrian fatalities in 2015. This is the highest number of pedestrians killed in one year since 1990."

Unless I'm mistaken, this give a rate of 18.1 in 2016. It is a large increase from 15.1 in 2012, though the discrepancy in sources may invalidate the comparison. Anyway, this 2016 report points to a increased fatality rate.

From the same source, it seems the problem is that accidents have not much increased in frequency, but they are more fatal. The fatality rate went from 11% to 15% in 10 years.

https://crashstats.nhtsa.dot.gov/Api/Public/ViewPublication/...

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#407

Post by heymijo »

wingspar wrote: post #147
api wrote: post #121

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The 24/7 fear cycle of news has drilled it into so many peoples minds that if you see someone anywhere on your street outside, they are there to murder, rob, mutilate, or otherwise commit crime. Join NextDoor.com if you want a dose of how nuts people have gone. I live in Orange County CA and I have checked it from time to time. Apparently this place is a crime infested jungle full of human trafficking gangs that ab…

Do you think the paranoia leads to lower crime, via vigilance and reporting? And/or does the actual crime lead to ‘acceptance’ as displayed in the Anaheim boards? Perhaps a manifestation of the broken windows theory? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broken_windows_theory

Good question, and my next one would be "at what cost?"

What are the externalities of services like NextDoor, local FB groups, etc keeping this in people's conscious all the time?

If I had to come up with a hypothesis and test it via the scientific method it would probably be: This is not good as it is a positive reinforcement loop that causes our lizard brains to see danger everywhere/all the time.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#408

Post by blaser-waffle »

piker wrote: post #320
maxheadroom wrote: post #303

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> ...and the woods that do remain are typically private property. I've heard that in the states you can own a piece of property but have "no right" to get to it, as it's surrounded by other pieces of private property and, so, you're at the whims of those properties' owners. Is this true? In Sweden, we have the concept of 'Allemansrätten'[0]; which is to say that 'private property' (in the absolute sense) doesn't exis…

No, that's generally incorrect. If your property is surrounded by others' private property in the US, an "easement by necessity" will generally be automatically granted which allows you access to your property through the surrounding private property.

Not that easements are easy to get or are free of contention -- a lot of pedantic property law comes out of asshole neighbors making other people's lives miserable.

Source: good buddy of mine is a real estate lawyer, and after a couple drinks he'll bitch and moan about it for hours

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#409

Post by Scoutmaster »

mieseratte wrote: post #394
Scoutmaster wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What I've observed: they don't want any type of failure for their kids. I'm a Scoutmaster, and I have one parent who lashed out at me because I asked him not to interfere when the Scouts were trying to do something for themselves. I didn't let that affect me, I just thanked him for his feedback. Thankfully, I have the support of everyone else in the troop. What saddens me, is seeing first-hand how bad these parents a…

> I'm a Scoutmaster, and I have one parent who lashed out at me because I asked him not to interfere when the Scouts were trying to do something for themselves. Anecdotally, there are entire Troops built around that type of parent. Tried BSA for a few years as a teenager, ended up in a group with a revolving door of Scoutmaster, as every time a child gained Eagle they and their parent would disappear. If you didn't h…

That won't be my troop. I'm setting clear expectations to parents from the beginning that they are only there for safety, driving kids, etc. I will make sure every Assistant Scoutmaster and Committee Member knows this. I will do my best to make sure that whomever succeeds me, will do the same including letting their eventual replacement know as well.

My goal is to make the Troop self-reliant, not reliant on me. I need to protect it from the Bus Factor.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#410

Post by Scoutmaster »

gen220 wrote: post #186
Scoutmaster wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recently became a Scoutmaster. That's what I'm trying to do: give the kids the same opportunity we had - freedom to explore the outdoors. Confidence to take care of themselves and not need an adult to do everything for them. To give them opportunites to build character.

Scouts was a hugely formative time in my life, precisely because our Scoutmasters decided to buck the trend of the other Boy Scout Troops in our area (adult-dictated Eagle Scout factories). The strongest memories I have of Scouts were of the older boys teaching us things, and of myself doing the same for younger boys. These “things” ranged from profound reflections on life to very practical skills. We ran our own fun…

Thank you.
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