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We Have Ruined Childhood

nytimes.com

371–380 of 505 posts

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#371

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks, and to respond to another sibling comment: this may be rare in statistical terms, but it is more than real enough to motivate a very clear pattern of behaviour among parents (not allowing kids to roam freely, etc) I speak from experience having had people (including family) be shocked at how free our kids are here in Japan versus the experience in North America. Whether the media are making things worse (prob…

I have enough ties to USA and looking at the kids of majority of my childhood friends I can say for sure that they are similar or better off than an average Asian kids who spend majority of time not playing outside but immersed in school homework or extra tutoring activities. The pressure in Asia builds even before pre-school where toddlers have lessons to attend, to get into a decent pre-school. Anecdotal evidence t…

> USA is big multi-cultural place with many different parenting styles. Painting all of them with broad brush without statistical significant studies is not ok.

The same applies to "Asia"

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#372
post #241

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Newton's father died when he was 3 months old and his mother ditched him as a kid and when she returned years later made him quit school to take care of the pigs. The reason he went on to become the Isaac Newton everyone knows, was because of the role all the other Adults around him played, not his parents. Don't write off that kid. I teach part time and see this a lot. Especially from fellow teachers. Oh this kid ha…

Who are you referring to? I hope not public school teachers. They have 25-30 kids per class, little freedom to change curriculum and pressure from both administrators and parents to achieve high grades above all else. You can preach personal sacrifice until the cows come home - capitalist societies are incompatible with having or raising children - they get in the way of the one true God, quarterly profits.

They're referring most directly to the person they're replying to, Scoutmaster, who is a scoutmaster: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scouting

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#373
post #242

>Youngsters these days What a marvelous start, good luck looking trustworthy. It's straight up the same as it was generations and generations before. I also love the emphasis on video games imposed in this article, from the very beginning. I have a different opinion on this. While I can confirm that some team-based games can tilt someone, it's unlikely that it contributes to mentioned suicide rates in any meaningful…

No it's objectively the baby boomers fault. Once they die things will mostly get back to normal since a huge voting block which has systematically defunded infrastructure, welfare and services they benefited from will finally be out of the political system as pathetically reliable voters. They're fortunately aging out of power right now too.

Genuinely, I can't tell if you're trying to refute the point, or illustrate it.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#374
While the article is obviously US-Centric, a lot of the things mentioned in it are applicable to other countries as well, including mine (Greece).

As a child, I was used to going out each evening in the neighbourhood to play with other kids. All the kids gathered in the nearest park/playground/court, and we played for hours each day, especially the spring/summer months.

Today, as a parent of 3 (8, 4 and 1 year old), I have noticed other parents don't let their kids out in the playgrounds any more. Playgrounds have few kids, and most children are very young, below 4 years old. Apparently, older children are occupied daily with structured activities, i.e. sports, foreign languages, swimming, music and other hobbies.

My 8 year old daughter really struggled to get new friendships the last two years, since we moved to the appartment we are currently in. None of her classmates are to be found anywhere in the neighbourhood after school.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#375
post #25

At least childhood runs well into your 30’s today.

I wish comments like this required an age verification to post. "You must be this crotchety to denigrate millenials."

I'm in my 30s, and I kinda still feel like a child. I'm just a child that has bills, debt, health problems, and people and animals that depend on me.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#376
post #228
post #3

I have a child. I love him very much. I can not fathom why any parents would not have free time as priority. Free time is amazing. Here is why. - I get a break. - My child gets to learn how to learn on his own. - My child builds independence. - My child learns to manage his time on his own. I see this playing out in the work force too. Far too many people I have worked with that are younger need to be told exactly wh…

I worry about young kids whose parents give them an iPad at all times, to the point that they're not even without it during a meal at a restaurant or other occasions. And how that may affect their ability to develop resiliency and creativity.

What you're missing is many people in modern society have decided that kids are solely the responsibility of their parents and no one should ever suffer any inconvenience or displeasure as a result of them. However slight it might be. This means anytime your kid decides to act out in any way in public, including occasionally make a sound above speaking level, you are disrupting other people's experiences and get dirty looks by these people.

Also, don't think to do anything when there are fewer crowds, because this is when these types of people tend to congregate the most - they like their empty, quiet, orderly spaces and your kids' presence is most definitely not welcome at this time.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#377

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is a sweeping generalisation, I bet there are parts of the USA that are thriving and communities that are booming. What we need is more clarity about what is the root cause of the problem. The motivation for my comment is we see similar trends in all developed countries and the symptoms are identical so calling out this issue as being USA is a missed opportunity to focus on the problem. My follow up would be whi…

As a Swiss, when I see that constant supervision is mandated in many US states until 12 years old , then I have to think that there's more than just isolated communities there where it's going wrong. You basically have laws that make anything other than what we call helicopter parenting illegal.

I live in Geneva, where constant supervision is also required until 12 years old. Here in the French-speaking cantons, the attitude and regulations are different (even within the same country).

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#378
Government ruined child hood, in particular over zealous DFACs units have ruined parenthood as well to education where a child not being supervised is a child not enjoying themselves.

Seriously, when did we come to the belief that children need structured activities all the time. Easy answer, when government employees stepped in. When politicians and government employees decided they knew better than parents or children what children needed. After all parents might not impart values that politicians decided are correct!

Then comes DFACS and the police state to bully parents into complying because the power of state arrayed against them is so one sided that the only chance you have is to surrender your parental rights or be stupid rich enough to fight back.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#379
post #293

You guys in the States have it bad. I hear terrible stories about the fear that now surrounds any kind of freedom for kids. Over here in the UK we’re a bit better, but the “give them exams ALL the time” and schools being on their knees, financially, are all too familiar. For me, this journey with my kids has been about a massive slew of things, among the most important: - extending their childhood where possible: enc…

> You guys in the States have it bad. I hear terrible stories about the fear that now surrounds any kind of freedom for kids. Over here in the UK we’re a bit better, but the “give them exams ALL the time” and schools being on their knees, financially, are all too familiar

Of course, this is all because of lies and locked-in unintended consequences. The schools have no practical reason to be on their knees financially, they are that way because of the politics of employing teachers.

There are school districts in the U.S. where it costs in excess of half a million dollars to successfully fire a provably-incompetent teacher or administrator. It is so expensive that many schools continue to pay full salary to teachers and administrators who only come in to work to prevent their firing. Some of these teachers and administrators are so useless or counter-productive that they are physically separated from the productive parts of the school.

The fact is that school funding has increased dramatically, considerably faster than the real costs of running a school; and the schools which receive the most funding are often near the bottom in performance.

Every time we see a school that actually works, people instantly jump to find some moralistic or social justice narrative to explain why we shouldn't make more schools like that. When charter schools do well, the public school unions and other fearmongers come out to complain that the executives live well, or that the students are cherry-picked (even when admissions are done by raffle!). They often do not qualify for the same compensation, and yet tend to greatly outperform public schools in the same jurisdictions.

A major problem in U.S. schools seems to be a lack of standards. They allow troublemakers to drag down entire classes, for fear that they may be seen as "excluding" that student. Meanwhile, a whole generation of otherwise-promising youth are increasingly illiterate, unfamiliar with civics, and generally incapable of living life in any productive capacity. Here in Canada, there's been a similar depressing turn for the worse, though in slower motion (as is often the case with things like this).

I personally think the U.S. and Canada have altogether too much childhood. Dating girls my age or younger (being in my early twenties), I often find myself cringing when I realize that the person I'm meeting has never done anything productive before, often never even one household chore, aside from their own laundry. I've been paying net taxes since the age of 17.

It is fine and in fact good to be attached to your family; but by the time you're free to agree to contracts, vote, and make other unilateral decisions for yourself, you should have had the experience of needing to do something productive, to take care of yourself or someone you love, or to make a decision with real consequences.

Re: We Have Ruined Childhood

#380

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is all pretty US-centric. Kids are allowed a fair amount of freedom in Canada and Europe, where I still see a lot of kids around malls, or parks, playing basketball in courts (which still happens in NYC), or wooded areas. Sure, more are on their phones etc. But it’s really not that different from the 90s IMO, in many locations. The biggest change is there aren’t so many clusters of “neighbourhood kids” as there…

We have built large parks/playgrounds for kids here in Eastern Europe, and we have upgraded most of our playgrounds. There are many of them. Kids can freely be kids here still. :) What is happening in the US is quite depressing to me. Your kid can be shot for having a toy that the cop perceives to be a gun. It is crazy! Things like that never happen here, even if that toy is a toy gun.

It doesn't happen that often, that's the point. People are afraid everything and everyone. We euros tend to forget how big USA really is. Of course all sort of shit happens.
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