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AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

theguardian.com

41–50 of 79 posts

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Coming out of nearly exactly 12.75 years long-term-relationship and trying currently these apps, i can confirm to you: TRUE. I do not know whats up with the people: Couple of weeks ago i had a dad, she had also 2 children; during the discussion it turned out that they have a battle regarding who is responsible for cleaning the bathroom+WC; i was shocked about their frequency (3 people!), so i said: why dont just get…

why do i get downvoted here on a story that happened in real life?

From me because you turned a thread about online dating into a missive that reads "woke feminists today, amirite?"

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#42
post #26

I found myself single in my late 30s after a long relationship ended. Dipping my toe in the water with the apps was not an experience that I enjoyed. I met my ex online at a time when people didn’t admit they met online. That was a far better time for online dating. What I know with absolute certainty is that adding AI to the pre-meeting process is exactly the opposite of what I want, especially if that means I’m not…

late 30s is the prime dating market for men when scales tip towards their favor. enjoy!!

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#43
It's interesting to see the strong negative reactions to this. I people are reading this and imagining themselves on the receiving end of an AI-enhanced profile or chat.

Contrast that with the reactions any time there's an article about AI-assisted resume generation or job applications: The sentiment in HN comments (and in many places across the internet) is that using AI to write a resume and apply for jobs should be fair game because it's all a dumb process and companies can't accurately judge resumes anyway. You just need to say the right things to get past the gatekeeper so you can impress them in person (sound familiar?).

I think the primary difference is whether people think of the AI as helping them, or being used against them (with a layer of anti-corporate angst, of course).

Regardless, the premise appears to be the same: Use AI to game the system that people use to filter introductions, then hope that you can impress the other party once you're in front of them and talking naturally.

Personally, I feel like I've seen this fail more than it succeeds. Even before AI it wasn't uncommon for people to use misleading dating app photos or to exaggerate claims on resumes. Once the other party discovers you've been misleading them, they begin to wonder what else you're lying about.

The best case I can think of for these AI tools is people who struggle to write positively about themselves or who have poor self-awareness about the things they write. I've met a lot of people who are simply bad at writing, especially when it comes to themselves. Having an AI act as an impartial coach could help.

Using AI as a bot to flirt with people on dating apps through chat (mentioned in the article) just feels like a losing strategy, though, unless your goal is to play a numbers game.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#44
post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Probably will slightly increase old fashioned methods. More likely though it’s going to accelerate social isolation :/

Here i can also add a story: Last year, i recognized a lady who also exits the same metro & bus at the same station sometimes, so i was looking forward that i will see her again one day. This happened: I have to note im somewhat above the average body height, as she is: id say she was around 1.89m, my own size - apart from the fact that i found her beautiful, i thought it would be somehow a "higher chance" to get to…

Um, did you consider that this tall, beautiful woman might a) already have a partner despite being tall, b) not be interested in finding a partner right now, or c) since it was lunchtime, was thinking about something she needed to do for work and resented the interruption?

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#45
I understand the argument in favor of - I suffer from severe social anxiety when it comes to meeting women. But, even as much as I might desire (or even need) a "wimgman", this is not the answer. People need to meet the real you, online or otherwise, else they're going to face major disappointment later on.

This app isn't helping.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#46
post #19
post #14

This is not the future we need. Humans need real emotional connection. Hell, it’s right in the middle of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and fundamental to both self-esteem and self-actualization[0]. In order to develop true friendship, whether plutonic or romanic, there has to be a base of authenticity. Otherwise the relationship is built on deceit and will eventually erode. Obviously inserting an AI between you and a p…

But maybe if both sides are using AI bots, then the two bots fall on the same level of authenticity, and then it's not a problem. I have a feeling that shortly it's gonna be all robots talking to robots.

Black mirror episode about exactly this

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#47
post #38
post #7

Online "dating" that involves texting is just such a terrible fit. Most people either have poor reading comprehension or lack ability to write clearly, and that's the worst combo for relationship building. It's really no surprise that "dating" apps devolve into clicking a picture and hooking up for sex.

In my experience, women who don't communicate well via text also don't communicate well in person. Dyslexia is a real thing, and there are other challenges, but when I got a bad feeling from her written communication it boded very badly for a date. I don't date men, but the women I've dated often say that's their experience as well. Of course, those are women who also matched my communication style, so that may not g…

That’s true, I’ve seen examples of someone jumping to conclusions or taking the worst possible interpretation of a text, which is probably a red flag even in real life, face-to-face communication

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#48

I read a short story once, maybe by Ted Chiang of Stories of Your Life fame which inspired Arrival, it talked about how there was a similar system for dating in their world, bots writing for other bots, that eventually the AI got so powerful that it knew who your soulmate was out of everyone in the world and it would tell you. What the people in the story grappled with was, would you truly want to meet your supposed…

I don't know. If my doctor tells me I need to take a certain pill to get better when I am sick, I don't grapple with the lack of free will. I really don't want to take my chances by choosing medications myself. What would be the point of that? Especially in the hypothetical situation where the doctor is perfect, or nearly so.

This feels more like cope than anything. We are stuck in an imperfect situation and tell ourselves it's better this way.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#49

I read a short story once, maybe by Ted Chiang of Stories of Your Life fame which inspired Arrival, it talked about how there was a similar system for dating in their world, bots writing for other bots, that eventually the AI got so powerful that it knew who your soulmate was out of everyone in the world and it would tell you. What the people in the story grappled with was, would you truly want to meet your supposed…

I don't know. If my doctor tells me I need to take a certain pill to get better when I am sick, I don't grapple with the lack of free will. I really don't want to take my chances by choosing medications myself. What would be the point of that? Especially in the hypothetical situation where the doctor is perfect, or nearly so. This feels more like cope than anything. We are stuck in an imperfect situation and tell our…

> If my doctor tells me I need to take a certain pill to get better when I am sick, I don't grapple with the lack of free will. I really don't want to take my chances by choosing medications myself. What would be the point of that? Especially in the hypothetical situation where the doctor is perfect, or nearly so.

Unfortunately (in the vast majority of cases), a lot of people do. They "do their own research" and go with healing cristals/essential oils, or choose a treatment "compatible with their religion" or some other nonsense. What you're describing is rational (delegating decision making in certain spheres, within reason, to educated people in those spheres), but a lot of people aren't.

Re: AI 'wingmen' bots to write profiles and flirt on dating apps

#50
post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

why do i get downvoted here on a story that happened in real life?

Because the entire statement is exhausting to try and parse - nearly unreadable because you flip the genders back and forth at random. Whatever you were trying to say is completely lost behind it. Edit: also I have no idea where you got “get a cleaning support” from, maybe a badly literalised translation for “cleaner”? Otherwise I’m not sure what english gendered term would elicit that reaction, housemaid seems too r…

Its a german speaking country, and compared to your "housemaid" the colloqial saying here on the street is "Putzfrau" or "Putzfee".

Wording: "get a cleaning support" - you mean, it sounds like i recommend someone to go to drug-cleaning-therapy and lot of people may get it wrong? :-D

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