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The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

bbc.com

41–50 of 281 posts

Re: The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

#41
I struggle with this a lot and have been wondering recently what it is that causes it, so it's refreshing seeing such an article today and knowing it's not just me.

Seems that my hunch is at least somewhat correct, that I just want more "me time". I feel a bit bad in that I don't have a tough 12hr schedule like some but still exhibit this behavior. I think its partially due to the fact that a lot of other things I do outside of work, my mind doesn't perceive as restful/me-time. Ex. I enjoy running, but exercise still feels like an obligation more than a privilege. Combine that with other social/communal obligations and certain errands and a lot of my non-work time ends up being for fulfilling the demands of some other authority concept.

Then, I've let my hobbies wane over the years (especially in terms of what I can do inside during Covid) so the easiest thing I go to is just scrolling on my phone. Which feels like its for me but is ultimately really draining.

Trying a couple approaches to this. 1.) Anything BUT mindless browsing. Seriously, no guilt even if it's just a show on Netflix, buying one item at the store even though I "should" just batch shop, whatever as long as its self directed. 2.) Eek out that time and make it a priority, while still prioritizing sleep. Allow certain tasks that I "should" get done today to push out.

Re: The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

#43
post #15
post #5

No mention of how to get out of this unhealthy habit. I'm struggling with this myself. Some of my conclusions so far: * When I am sleep-deprived I am less productive. So I spend more time doing "work". Then I have less time for everything else I want to do (family, cooking, sport). So I take more time away from sleep. And the cycle repeats. Sleep deprivation is self-perpetuating. * What I do at night, when I am exhau…

Quit - different job. Its a management/company culture thing. Burn out, find something healthy. The fact that most wont since they need the money tells us how nasty this is.

Yes, for many, their job is a matter of survival. There is something really horrific in how a society as technologically advanced and productive as ours has almost eliminated leisure time, rather than increased it.

Re: The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

#44

As a way of breaking this cycle, I've recently been considering going to bed earlier (e.g. 9-10pm), and then getting up at 5-6am, BUT with the proviso I can do whatever I want between 5 and 8, with no pressure to be productive (e.g. binge on Netflix for 3 hours). I just need to convince my wife to do the same :) Has anyone tried something like this?

I am trying the opposite. Wake up at 7, and focus exclusively on productive work until around noon, then if I am successful (I wasn't today), I allow the rest of the day to be guilt-free whatever I choose to do.

Re: The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

#45
post #35

I mean, "me time" is not optional. How can life even be worth living if it's just a cycle of work and sleep?

Thank you.

The most surprising bit of info is how any of this is surprising.

OF COURSE I sacrifice sleep for leisure. I would be happy to sacrifice work instead, but guess what?

Re: The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

#46
I used to work tech support Midnight to 8am.

I'd get home exhausted ... but I honestly couldn't sleep unless I did some 'non work' a game or something at home away from work. I didn't feel stressed by work or anything, it was a great job with great people.... I just felt driven to do something ELSE no matter how tired I was.

Re: The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

#47
post #8

Here’s how you fix this. Go to bed early and wake up earlier. I do honestly believe that young adults naturally stay up later though. I think there’s an evolutionary reason for it, basically to keep the nights watch and ward off predators.

Here's how you fix this (and how you fix nearly any social problem): organise with your fellow workers and demand better work conditions for all workers from your government and employers, with the threat of general strike across all industries.

Re: The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

#49
As someone with a demanding job that often takes the whole day (plus now, a kid) I do this very often. I didn't even know it had a name.

The piece seems to imply it's a wrong choice, because it would be better to just go to sleep. Maybe in many cases it is. For me, that's not the case, because if I don't get some "me time", I just can't sleep well. I'd rather go to bed at 1:30 and sleep well than go at 12 and spend two hours rolling in the bed because I'm still thinking about work and haven't had time to "unwind" my mind. So I don't think it's a bad decision, and it doesn't feel like "revenge" either, just some needed personal upkeep time (like sleeping itself).

Of course, I know it would be best to remove the stress, so as to have time both for myself and sleep and not have to choose the lesser of two evils... easier said than done, though.

Re: The psychology behind ‘revenge bedtime procrastination’

#50
post #35

I mean, "me time" is not optional. How can life even be worth living if it's just a cycle of work and sleep?

That's very true.

However, the activities described in the article -- "Rao would stay up surfing the internet, reading the news and watching online videos until well after midnight" -- don't sound like the kind of quality "me time" that makes life more worth living.

I say this as someone trapped in a similar cycle. My wife and I are exhausted after both working from home and pandemic parenting/homeschooling every day. By the time the kids are asleep (10:30 for the older one) we "need" some time to veg on the couch, and end up going to bed at 11:30, when really we would have been better off going to bed 45 minutes earlier.

But the "me time" trap makes us somehow believe that the hour or so we spend on our phones is necessary for us, when in fact it's stupid, wasted time, reading about politics or being on Twitter of whatever.

(Ok, we also have been teaching ourselves the piano, and playing chess and stuff, but many nights we still feel like we "deserve" some brain-dead "me time.")

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