You know, some people say a woman mind is a mystery, but this thread is making me think that some guys simply don't make any effort to actually understand what women mean when they say something clear and to the point...
It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
41–50 of 104 posts
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#42Hmmm. I'm frustrated, because I think the author is making a very important point in a very, very poor way.
Gender issues are important. They are important everywhere and they are especially important in industries like ours where the gender ratios are so unbalanced.
That being said, I find it extremely difficult to take this author seriously. I don't think I can critique her writing in a way that doesn't either come off as mean or completely expose me as the curmudgeonly bastard that I am, so I will just say that I found her style distracting. It's her blog and she should by all means write however she wishes - and to be fair she may not have expected the attention she is getting - but it's disappointing to me to see this issue represented in this way.
Hopefully, though, people will be able to see past that and realize that it's pathetic and rude to collect someone's personal contact information under the guise of business networking with the intent of calling them later for a date.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#43You know, some people say a woman mind is a mystery, but this thread is making me think that some guys simply don't make any effort to actually understand what women mean when they say something clear and to the point...
In my opinion she's anything but clear. She doesn't explain, for example, when she gets asked out on a date (is that exactly what she's suggesting these men are doing -- it's again not clear) why can she just not say "no thanks" and leave it at that?
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#44Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think there are two different realities that fit the evidence we've been presented with equally well. One is unacceptable -- and she's well within her rights to complain; the other is acceptable -- and she's making too much of the issue. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that the following is the case: The men "hitting on" her are perfectly polite and interested in her professionally, but also want to see i…
No, I think that sounds unpleasant. Just imagine some guy you met once phoning you about business and then asking you for a date. Still think mixing business and pleasure is okay? It's also obviously totally unprofessional of the person. I mean, what are they going to say to their boss? I met the smart freelancer we're looking for, but then I asked her for a date and now she isn't returning my calls. Sorry boss. It's…
I think context is important. If she is getting phone calls from guys asking for a date straight off then sure, I'd be annoyed too.
But if you develop a business relationship with someone it seems fine to ask if they'd like to go on a date - just like you might as something in the office.
From my observation, though, the former is probably more common than the latter ;)
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#45Hmmm. I'm frustrated, because I think the author is making a very important point in a very, very poor way. Gender issues are important. They are important everywhere and they are especially important in industries like ours where the gender ratios are so unbalanced. That being said, I find it extremely difficult to take this author seriously. I don't think I can critique her writing in a way that doesn't either come…
Hopefully, though, people will be able to see past that and realize that it's pathetic and rude to collect someone's personal contact information under the guise of business networking with the intent of calling them later for a date.
Sure, it's underhand, but she hasn't said anything to suggest that they're not interested in her both personally and professionally.
This is agreement with you: she's very unclear.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#46Two things: 1. You're a woman, and men will hit on you, and that's not a bad thing; it's biology. 2. If you think SF men are aggressive, then obviously you haven't been out much. I don't think I've been anywhere in the world that's LESS aggressive than SF when it comes to dating/mating. Go to Brazil and see what aggressiveness is.
All she's complaining about is not that she gets hit on, but that she keeps getting hit on in the wrong way. She gives her contact details out to men whom she thinks want to be business contacts, who then wind up calling her for dates.
It's a simple rule: if you meet a woman and you're interested in her in that way, then hit on her properly and ask her for her number in a way that makes your intentions non-ambiguous. If you're interested in her professionally then by all means exchange business cards. If you're interested in her in both ways then... well, choose one.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#47So....girl writes a blog that is half blog, half glamour photo shoot, and is obviously trading on her appearance. Fine, it's a free country, work an advantage if you've got it. She openly admits in the "about" section of her blog that she has all of one year of experience. Then girl is shocked, just shocked, when business professionals don't take her seriously and are only interested in one thing. A superficial girl (with little experience, to boot) running into a bunch of superficial men.
Hmmm....
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#48You know, some people say a woman mind is a mystery, but this thread is making me think that some guys simply don't make any effort to actually understand what women mean when they say something clear and to the point...
Plenty of people make every effort to understand what they mean - but it doesn't work so well when the woman is saying one thing and lacing it with tons of subtext that say something else.
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#49Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is not a sarcastic question but what does that actually mean ? Anyone? I'm genuinely curious.
It's a kind of marketing. But yeah, it's bullshit. It's the new "SEO consultant".
'Doing social media' isn't necessarily bullshit. For example, it could be useful for a large company to know what's being said about them on Twitter -- maybe even to respond -- and it's not necessarily clear whose job that would be... except for the person who does social media?
Re: It Doesn’t Count Unless I Know You’re Hitting on Me.
#50You know, some people say a woman mind is a mystery, but this thread is making me think that some guys simply don't make any effort to actually understand what women mean when they say something clear and to the point...
In my opinion she's anything but clear. She doesn't explain, for example, when she gets asked out on a date (is that exactly what she's suggesting these men are doing -- it's again not clear) why can she just not say "no thanks" and leave it at that?
I fail to see how "when we’re at a business networking event, and we exchange cards? Yeah, that’s not me ‘giving you my number’." is not clear. Got the business card, don't call her for a date. It's not rocket science...
>> why can she just not say "no thanks"
You don't rant when some business contact you just met asks you if you'd like to go hit a gay pub later. You do it after it has happened for the hundredth time this month.