Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being • Hacker News Board

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#41

Post by bluetwo » Sun, Nov 06, 2016, 10:37 PM UTC

ageek123 wrote: post #34

watmough wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, this is key. For some people, it's not really surprising that they're depressed. Low opportunity, low-income, poor surroundings, poor education, stressful paycheck to paycheck existence. Of course they're miserable. Of course, adversely comparing yourself to peers is also a strategy for misery. For those of us to be lucky enough to be in reasonable shape, the knack to avoiding self-pity and depression is to acce…

If the things you listed "Low opportunity, low-income, ..." actually caused depression, then most of the people in Africa, the Middle East, and much of Asia would be depressed, but this is obviously not the case. The causes of depression are complicated and aren't directly related to being poor in an absolute sense.

I don't think watmough was using the term depression in a clinical sense. What we are discussing would be more accurately called learned helplessness if we want to be technical.

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#42

Post by wsinks » Sun, Nov 06, 2016, 10:42 PM UTC

ada1981 wrote: post #36

Sapph wrote: post #33

How I see negative emotion is, it's similar to what physical pain teaches us. You touch a burning stove. It hurts. You learn this action -> undesirable outcome and avoid doing it. (Sometimes it can take a few times though!) Just that with negative emotions, sometimes it's less obvious the cause or it's an interplay between a few. And sometimes, there's a time delay between an action and the negative emotion. That's w…

Yes. If you want to be more happy, be willing to feel more sadness ;)

As someone who is starting a new relationship where we are literally 10,000km away, this is my new normal. I feel intense jealous, anger, sadness when we are away, and we are close I am filled with pure bliss. Pure emotion.

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#43

Post by edblarney » Sun, Nov 06, 2016, 11:23 PM UTC

ChefDenominator wrote: post #10

I watched a documentary about heroin addiction in a wealthy northeast U.S. town. I recall being struck at how the parents of the addicts presented in the documentary (who were all young) talked about how all of their kids were always so happy as children. Then, when interviewing the addicts, there was a clear recurring theme that they wanted to do drugs because they could not handle the pain of being off drugs. I did…

A) Most children are happy.

B) 'The pain of being off drugs' - for opioids is a deeply physical thing as well. Once they are 'hardcore' it's no longer a matter of 'getting high' it's 'getting back to normal' - i.e. they need heroin to operate normally. The body adjusts to having opioids, and when it doesn't get them it 'feels' miserable. That's the trap, apparently.

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#44

Post by altonzheng » Sun, Nov 06, 2016, 11:24 PM UTC

Sapph wrote: post #33

How I see negative emotion is, it's similar to what physical pain teaches us. You touch a burning stove. It hurts. You learn this action -> undesirable outcome and avoid doing it. (Sometimes it can take a few times though!) Just that with negative emotions, sometimes it's less obvious the cause or it's an interplay between a few. And sometimes, there's a time delay between an action and the negative emotion. That's w…

The issue with depression is I think this emotional signaling can be entirely miscalibrated, and sometimes, you do you have to figure out a way to override those signals.

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#45

Post by edblarney » Sun, Nov 06, 2016, 11:26 PM UTC

I think PC culture is maybe a problem here.

I worked in an F50 and for political reasons ... emotions are just not allowed.

I personally don't mind a little bit here and there. Someone gets angry, argues, whatever. It's life. As long as it's not personal.

I worked at startups and we used to debate, hardcore, all the time. No harm done. At the F50, it was too politically costly - everyone is trying to 'one up' one another, so it's about making as 'few social mistakes as possible' - and getting the occasional 'win' and making sure you kiss your boss's butt.

That's it.

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#46

Post by oarla » Sun, Nov 06, 2016, 11:45 PM UTC

ageek123 wrote: post #34

watmough wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, this is key. For some people, it's not really surprising that they're depressed. Low opportunity, low-income, poor surroundings, poor education, stressful paycheck to paycheck existence. Of course they're miserable. Of course, adversely comparing yourself to peers is also a strategy for misery. For those of us to be lucky enough to be in reasonable shape, the knack to avoiding self-pity and depression is to acce…

If the things you listed "Low opportunity, low-income, ..." actually caused depression, then most of the people in Africa, the Middle East, and much of Asia would be depressed, but this is obviously not the case. The causes of depression are complicated and aren't directly related to being poor in an absolute sense.

Exactly! A lot of people in developed and developing countries are depressed because they thought that wealth and materialistic possessions would bring them happiness, when all it got was more things to worry about.

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#47

Post by CuriouslyC » Mon, Nov 07, 2016, 12:05 AM UTC

I look at negative experiences (not emotions) the same way I look at lifting weights. It is a stimulus that can cause you to grow stronger. Much like you have to lift weights with proper technique to avoid injury, you have to learn to respond to negative events with the proper cognitive strategy to avoid suffering.

I don't think negative emotions are necessary, however. The benefit comes from learning to process negative events constructively, which people (sometimes) learn to do in order to avoid the pain.

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#48

Post by [deleted] » Mon, Nov 07, 2016, 12:17 AM UTC

CuriouslyC wrote: post #47

I look at negative experiences (not emotions) the same way I look at lifting weights. It is a stimulus that can cause you to grow stronger. Much like you have to lift weights with proper technique to avoid injury, you have to learn to respond to negative events with the proper cognitive strategy to avoid suffering. I don't think negative emotions are necessary, however. The benefit comes from learning to process nega…

[deleted]

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#49

Post by Neeek » Mon, Nov 07, 2016, 12:24 AM UTC

thesagan wrote: post #17

notliketherest wrote: post #8

Depression was a major part of Winston Churchill's life, and he used the phrase ‘Black Dog’ as a euphemism when talking to family and friends. Sometimes when I feel the negative emotions come to me (every few weeks / months), I think about that and I think about just walking alongside the black dog. It helps to remember that.

Same for me, I try not to fear my black dog, my good 'ol friend. Instead I try and take it as a sign that I might have some growing to do, or some grieving to finish, or that some change is needed and that I should start thinking of possibilities for that. I become introspective. My life, and most other peoples' lives, have seasons, and those seasons can add meaning in very strange ways that are difficult to replicat…

> I might have some growing to do, or some grieving to finish, or that some change is needed and that I should start thinking of possibilities for that. I become introspective.

This really resonated with me, going through it right now and I've always had difficulty expressing it adequately to the people around me when they ask.

Re: Negative Emotions Are Key to Well-Being

#50

Post by xvedejas » Mon, Nov 07, 2016, 1:21 AM UTC

ada1981 wrote: post #35

notliketherest wrote: post #8

Depression was a major part of Winston Churchill's life, and he used the phrase ‘Black Dog’ as a euphemism when talking to family and friends. Sometimes when I feel the negative emotions come to me (every few weeks / months), I think about that and I think about just walking alongside the black dog. It helps to remember that.

Often, depression is actually an avoidance of the underlying emotions -- very often anger. Unexpressed anger goes inward and is directed toward the self, which becomes experienced as depression.

Is this an accepted psychiatric phenomenon, or just some Freudian bullshit?