31–40 of 69 posts
Inspired by this thread, I looked up Freud's 12 Human Defense Mechanism when negative emotions stew in our mind to look at how I delude myself on daily basis: https://kevinfitzmaurice.com/self-esteem/self-esteem-issues/... 1. Over-compensation/Projection: To overcome my greatest fear that I'm just a programmer making a comfortable living but ultimately making meaningless web apps for BigCo or for startups but afraid…
I watched a documentary about heroin addiction in a wealthy northeast U.S. town. I recall being struck at how the parents of the addicts presented in the documentary (who were all young) talked about how all of their kids were always so happy as children. Then, when interviewing the addicts, there was a clear recurring theme that they wanted to do drugs because they could not handle the pain of being off drugs. I did…
Any recollection of the title?
My google-fu is failing me.
You touch a burning stove. It hurts. You learn this action -> undesirable outcome and avoid doing it. (Sometimes it can take a few times though!)
Just that with negative emotions, sometimes it's less obvious the cause or it's an interplay between a few. And sometimes, there's a time delay between an action and the negative emotion. That's why self-awareness and introspection helps a lot in learning from your experiences.
I think the "you can choose to be happy all the time" movement maligns negative emotions too much - it can be an important warning "hey something is wrong" system in life. Also, I believe the use of the word 'happiness' often leads to misunderstandings.
You cannot be happy, the emotion, all the time. Hour to hour, day to day, we all go through different emotions.
You can however be more consistently happy, as a perspective on life and approach to life.
That I believe is what people really mean when they talk about 'being more happy'.
But a lot of people misunderstand that, thinking if you aren't feeling weeeee most of the day, you aren't really 'happy'.
(In my opinion) Negative emotions are indeed useful. Feeling sad or griping about something is not all that bad as long as it helps you define what it is in your life you don't like. The hard part is forcing yourself, after some time in the dumps, to say "OK, no what am I going to DO about this?"
Yes, this is key. For some people, it's not really surprising that they're depressed. Low opportunity, low-income, poor surroundings, poor education, stressful paycheck to paycheck existence. Of course they're miserable. Of course, adversely comparing yourself to peers is also a strategy for misery. For those of us to be lucky enough to be in reasonable shape, the knack to avoiding self-pity and depression is to acce…
Depression was a major part of Winston Churchill's life, and he used the phrase ‘Black Dog’ as a euphemism when talking to family and friends. Sometimes when I feel the negative emotions come to me (every few weeks / months), I think about that and I think about just walking alongside the black dog. It helps to remember that.
How I see negative emotion is, it's similar to what physical pain teaches us. You touch a burning stove. It hurts. You learn this action -> undesirable outcome and avoid doing it. (Sometimes it can take a few times though!) Just that with negative emotions, sometimes it's less obvious the cause or it's an interplay between a few. And sometimes, there's a time delay between an action and the negative emotion. That's w…
I watched a documentary about heroin addiction in a wealthy northeast U.S. town. I recall being struck at how the parents of the addicts presented in the documentary (who were all young) talked about how all of their kids were always so happy as children. Then, when interviewing the addicts, there was a clear recurring theme that they wanted to do drugs because they could not handle the pain of being off drugs. I did…
"So happy as little children" seems to be a recurring line in nearly ever episode of Intervention I've ever seen I usually assume that the parents are pretty poor historians Or that people aren't very good at figuring out when little kids aren't happy I have trouble believing that happy childhood are correlated with later life problems
> "In fact, anger and sadness are an important part of life, and new research shows that experiencing and accepting such emotions are vital to our mental health." Translation: "New Research": Having watched Inside Out.
There are a few issues with medication, as I see it. Should we try change a person? Are you the same person if you medicate how your brain responds to certain events? There are risks involved of course, people react differently and increased anxiety levels are often associated with some anti depressants. There is also the problem of dependence and the search for the "perfect pill" to make them feel perfectly at peace.
And finally there is the question of whether or not these negative feelings are actually a key part of who we are, and trying to lock them away, and contain them just prolongs the suffering we endure. I think sometimes you just got to embrace what you feel and go with it.
Let me stress though, I completely accept that for some people medication is absolutely vital to ensure they stay well, and for many others it can be completely life changing in a totally positive way. I just think it shouldn't be the first thing your doctor recommends when you present with depressed or anxious thoughts.
I watched a documentary about heroin addiction in a wealthy northeast U.S. town. I recall being struck at how the parents of the addicts presented in the documentary (who were all young) talked about how all of their kids were always so happy as children. Then, when interviewing the addicts, there was a clear recurring theme that they wanted to do drugs because they could not handle the pain of being off drugs. I did…
> I watched a documentary about heroin addiction in a wealthy northeast U.S. town. Any recollection of the title? My google-fu is failing me.