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Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

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Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#381

Post by Dudeman112 »

williamtrask wrote: post #204
krapp wrote: post #188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I know this won’t be a popular point, but I think we have nearly all of human history as evidence that “magical believing” societies survive more effectively than not. I disagree. "more effectively than not" is an implicit comparison between "magical believing" societies and "non magical believing" (in other words, scientific) societies. Given the latter allows modern medicine, surgery, sanitation, mass food product…

Science has given many things, and as a professional research scientist, I help it continue to do so. I by no means think science should go away. However, it also created the ability for humanity to destroy itself: the nuclear bomb, climate change, and plenty of other existential threats. Also there are plenty of non-tech tribes which display tremendous lifespans. To my knowledge, the common threads among centenarian…

>However, it also created the ability for humanity to destroy itself: the nuclear bomb, climate change, and plenty of other existential threats

Would it be better to not have any knowledge at all and be at the mercy of nature?

Acquiring power always comes together with the possibility of misuse. Maybe those who never got as far as we got would prefer to eventually get wiped out by nature (and it's gonna happen either way, what with the heat death and all that). I'd still prefer to have lived to know the electron than the alternative

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#382

Post by theGnuMe »

leonhard wrote: post #358
ChuckMcM wrote: post #235

I worry about generalizations in this regard, but consistently my daughter's peers in college who had helicopter parents were less functional. May simply be correlation of course so drawing conclusions would be bad. That said, it's super hard to experiment on kids without getting in trouble :-). As a parent unfortunately you have to pick a path. My eldest had the tendency to only learn through experiencing the negati…

How did you improve your conflict management skills and do you have any particular lessons to share?

Practice empathy and active listening. Really listen to what someone is saying, repeat back to them what they are saying and then ask clarifying questions (as appropriate).

This will deescalate conflicts and allow them to resolve.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#383

Post by skocznymroczny »

scajanus wrote: post #294
autoexec wrote: post #272

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Kids often continue to live with their parents well into their 30s. But this is mostly due to a shortage of new housing. That just seems really awkward. By their 30s people are often having kids of their own! Does italy have something like love hotels for teens and young adults who don't want to make out with their parents in the next room?

I don't think Italians are that squeamish about sex. They would have sex and then join the family for breakfast.

Living in Europe this concept always seemed strange to me. I'm Polish and here it's normal to have couples living together while the parents are in the same house and even having sex together while parents are in the same house. There's no need to "hide" from the parents, you just ask them not to be disturbed for the next hour or two.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#384

Post by isthisthingon99 »

softwaredoug wrote: post #361

I had a very smothering mother. Someone a bit too much into parenting for her own emotional needs, rather than her children’s. So you can imagine independence was subtly discouraged. At the same time my Father came from a traditionally wealthy family. While we were not wealthy, his family consisted of successful lawyers, doctors, and entrepreneurs. So there was a lot of pressure to choose a somewhat preordained path…

Your therapist, I'm sorry, is an idiot.

Your mother wasn't smothering for her own needs, she wanted to protect you. Your father didn't demand you go into a profession for his own satisfaction, he wanted to give you a good life.

Therapists and therapy will be the undoing of the West.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#387

Post by tetromino_ »

jonp888 wrote: post #309
watwut wrote: post #299

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that point is overstated. The EU universities provide housing to students too and it is not that massively different, except Greek life. And I swear overwhelming majority of these comics comes from frats who are in power play against university. Every time I dug into specific issues, it turns out being just a bunch of manipulative claims.

But is it not common to force students, as a condition of attending lectures, to live in university housing, and to eat university provided meals? And it is not the case that university housing comes with "advisers" who ensure you are living in an approved way? (And for some bizarre reason you cannot have your own bedroom, you have to share - a last ditch effort to obstruct pre-marital sex?) In the EU anything not as…

> for some bizarre reason you cannot have your own bedroom

The most obvious reason is cost. It's far cheaper to build a dormitory with 1 room per 2-4 residents than with 1 room per 1 resident.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#388

Post by cafard »

OJFord wrote: post #100
jasonhansel wrote: post #9

> Chentsova Dutton said America has an international reputation for prizing autonomy, but her study opened her eyes to a more complicated picture. American parents tend to be overprotective when children are young, acting as if kids are going to live at home for a long time, like parents do in Italy. Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college, like families do in Germany. The result…

> Yet they also expect children to live away from home fairly early for college Except American children away from home 'for college' are still exactly 'children', home with different parents. The culture of halls and canteens and the way it's funded is much more 'provided for you' than 'you're providing for yourself now'. I don't get the sense (from NA undergrads I've known, film, etc.) that much learning to cook go…

I never lived in a dorm where one was fed in the cafeteria, but rather did two years at home and two in an on-campus apartment with a kitchen. On the whole, I now think that I really didn't go to college to practice cooking.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#389

Post by bill_joy_fanboy »

solatic wrote: post #351
bill_joy_fanboy wrote: post #98

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Whenever someone uses the word "entitled", I just hear my mom. People who participate in and contribute to society are entitled to things. They should have a sufficient wage, safe housing, food and clean water. If I as a tax-paying, working member of society am not "entitled" to anything, why would I care about the perpetuation of the society? If I'm not "entitled" to anything, why should I care about anything or any…

Because in the real world, the only transactional relationships you ought to have are ones that explicitly involve money. It's difficult to learn to start to relate to people in a non-transactional manner, but it's necessary to develop genuine relationships.

It's difficult to worry about higher-order emotions when your basic material needs aren't met.

Re: Young adults and mental health: Is more childhood independence the answer?

#390

Post by skocznymroczny »

kmlx wrote: post #139
_mme wrote: post #22

I‘m 42. Here‘s my advice to someone half my age. Have conflicts. Put your heart into it. If you loose, you receive some truth. If you win you give some truth. The outcome does not matter if it means you grow. Go eat or drink together as if nothing happened.

> loose since a few years ago i’ve noticed a trend where people write “loose” (not firmly or tightly fixed in place; detached or able to be detached. "a loose tooth") instead of “lose” (be deprived of or cease to have or retain (something). "I've lost my appetite") does anyone know what’s going on?

For me as a non-native English speaker it might be a case of English having confusing pronunciations. Pronunciation of loose and lose is very similar if not the same (I probably couldn't tell them apart). One might expect lose to be pronounced similarly to words like hose, rose or pose.
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