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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#381

Post by sad-throwaway »

DSingularity wrote: post #261
sad-throwaway wrote: post #211

No... but I'm not sure what to do about it I spoke with a therapist, but it hasn't helped me much; he basically admitted he didn't know what to suggest. Maybe I'm weird, and need to find the right therapist, which is what people suggest when I tell them this hasn't been that useful What else can I do, HN? I feel so lonely all the time. I don't have any close friends and people only talk to me at work about work. I do…

Your life is meaningful today because a tomorrow will come where you will find what you are looking for. The future and the present are inextricably linked. I think that we all through descents in our life. Don't think less of yourself and don't give up. Look for new ways to find what you are looking for. Travel. Seriously, just pack up your bags and travel. If your job and your city aren't working for you just turn…

>Travel. Seriously, just pack up your bags and travel

I did. I went to Texas and you know what, I actually felt glad to be alive for the first time in as long as I can remember. Didn't feel that anywhere else (so it wasn't just the effects of traveling). It just felt like home ... in a way that my actual home - England - doesn't and never has for me

>If your job and your city aren't working for you just turn your back and leave

I wish I could, but how can I just up and leave when I don't have a visa? I can't live where I'd like to right now. I did some research, and I'm not eligible for any visas at the moment

I am trying to work towards eligibility, but it's really time and energy consuming

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#383

Post by fallingfrog »

Depression and anxiety are not individual problems if everyone has them. They’re a reflection of how our society treats people. Unfortunately, taking the problem seriously would involve confronting capitalist power dynamics, so instead we will simply increase funding for medications and prisons.

And the problem will get worse..

And worse..

And worse..

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#384

Post by jtcruthers »

rubicon33 wrote: post #344
schnitzelstoat wrote: post #225

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I was thinking the UK due to Brexit and austerity under the Conservatives etc.

I was thinking the US because of the viscous atmosphere between democrats / conservatives. It feels like we're sliding backwards in civil discourse and it's quite disappointing. We've lost all patience for our neighbor. It's all a black and white, right or wrong, "where do YOU stand?" environment.

That may be what its like in social media, but IRL really doesn't seem to care that much. At least in my cushy midwestern city.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#385

Post by basilisk19 »

Man I’m seriously torn in life. I’ve just graduated business school and have a great job working at an investment bank. Hours are crazy but the work is interesting and high impact. I just turned 30 and my girlfriend of 2 years wants me to propose a year from now. She’s a great girl and I’m only getting older but I just don’t know. I think we’d be happy forever but at the same time I feel like I’m still young and would be giving up optionality/flexibility to quit my job and travel or move to a foreign country (the latter of which is a life goal that would be complicated quite a bit by having a spouse). These decisions just get so much harder with a spouse in the picture. She’s also 32 and would need to start having kids in a few years which really would lock me down in one place in a big way. I’ve been stressed out about what to do for literally the last 9 months. Half of me feels that if the decision to marry is this hard then it’s a bad decision but at the same time my reasons for not wanting to be married may be ridiculous and I may never quit my job and move abroad even if I become single. I also may still feel this way five years from now and will never get married and realized I passed up a great woman who would be an awesome life partner.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#386

Post by scoobyyabbadoo »

I've been receiving threats through social media for a few months now by anonymous trolls. Kinda sucks because I never know when/if they are going to start a harassment campaign in real life. I've seen them do it to others, it can be disruptive but is not the end of the world. I kind of wish it would just happen already so I can move on with my life. It's hard to start any new projects if you don't know if you're going to run into a ton of new problems for a few months unexpectedly.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#387

Post by sad-throwaway »

carapace wrote: post #356
sad-throwaway wrote: post #211

No... but I'm not sure what to do about it I spoke with a therapist, but it hasn't helped me much; he basically admitted he didn't know what to suggest. Maybe I'm weird, and need to find the right therapist, which is what people suggest when I tell them this hasn't been that useful What else can I do, HN? I feel so lonely all the time. I don't have any close friends and people only talk to me at work about work. I do…

Like others have already said: try more therapists. And try different kinds of therapy, even weird stuff. Therapy is a very YMMV area, eh?

What are the different kinds?

I am considering psychedelics as I read Ketamine is suppose to be quite effective with depression. Might be a bit hard to do that though

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#388

Post by foxtrottbravo »

In all honesty, no I'm not. Two weeks ago I went to my GP to diagnose a light swelling / discomfort in my left cheek.

He gave me two rounds of antibiotics and it seemed to get better. Then recovery stopped.

GP sent me to the ENT. ENT also isn't sure what it is but is sure that the first suspicion was incorrect.

Tomorrow I have an appointment in the hospital for a biopsy to make sure the change in tissue is not malignant.

So I'm unfortunately not OK, I'm shit scared for what is up ahead.

Thanks for asking, since I haven't had anybody to talk to since Wednesday where I got the news that it might be something way worse than what we expected.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#389

Post by rocqua »

theanine wrote: post #116
piva00 wrote: post #80

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Start interviewing, I know that this is very often thrown around here and in other communities but absolutely NONE of this behaviour should be acceptable in any kind of professional environment. You know you are being severely underpaid (I'm assuming you are from the US even though I'm not) so finding a place paying the same or a little better just to get away from this fucking horrible situation is worth every singl…

Thanks. I have a final interview next week at a somewhat boring company, but the pay would be nearly double and I think I'd be much much healthier, so I'll take that if I can get it.

The pay difference doesn't matter one bit. You need to get out of the current job.

If they offer anything over 40k take it! You might even want to consider explaining you want to get out of your current job, and are willing to take less pay. The risk is that it could sound like you don't think you are a good fit.

I hope the interview goes well! Good luck!

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#390

Post by suyash »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #178

Call me cynical, but my guess is that no one asking the question actually cares about the answer, especially if they are prompted to do so by a PSA. It's like those assholes who show up and tell suicidal people the number to the suicide hotline. They don't give a shit, they're just virtue signaling that they care about others in the least-effort way they possibly can.

Everyone has their comfort zone or in this context empathy zone, some people are very empathetic, some don't know how to show empathy or care towards others and that is just a personality thing, we shouldn't hold that against people. Think of it the other way, most people reading here and replying at least care enough to show concern and empathy, some maybe more empathetic than others. To counter your point about Suicide Prevention People - at least doing that is still better than not giving a shit about those who need help.
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