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Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

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Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#371

Post by odyssey7 »

nradov wrote: post #368
odyssey7 wrote: post #306

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Remote work could have solved this. The higher-ups had other thoughts. There’s a parallel to sending your kids off to war. Get them away from their sense of stability, to a place where it’s too expensive to live, for years at a time, to fight for the United States’ GDP. It’s not just the young adults who are affected. In some cases their family members grieve the separation. And yet it seems like the only way to get…

Remote work couldn't have solved anything. It's a great option for some people but it can only ever be possible for a tiny fraction of jobs where everything is done online. So basically nothing in agriculture, mining, construction, manufacturing, healthcare, retail, military, transportation, utilities, tourism, hospitality, primary education, sports, etc. Even in the tech industry a lot of employees will always have…

Perhaps it’s just my bubble, but I mainly see this happen with people who do knowledge work which could definitely be 100% completed online.

Even if this is just a “tiny fraction” of workers, allowing them the liberty to easily pursue their career while also maintaining close relations with their family would be good, not merely something to write off as negligible. Every human life matters.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#372

Post by stackghost »

motorest wrote: post #241
grumpy-de-sre wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Anglo cultures kids aren't usually moving away from home until they are at least ~18 years old. This is not a factor in teenagers feeling isolated. Suburbia and the decline of third places probably play a far greater role in this demographic. It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive a…

> It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive advantage of the Anglo cultures for centuries, eg. moving for opportunity (improved social mobility), ability to connect with outsiders, couple pairing across cultural/geographical boundaries, prerequisite to a high trust society, etc. That line…

>It boils down to "everyone might be miserable, but someone else is getting rich so it's good."

Aren't Scandinavian people statistically the happiest? That's not anglo culture.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#373

Post by jimbokun »

dsign wrote: post #230
grumpy-de-sre wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Anglo cultures kids aren't usually moving away from home until they are at least ~18 years old. This is not a factor in teenagers feeling isolated. Suburbia and the decline of third places probably play a far greater role in this demographic. It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive a…

> What really needs to happen is we need to figure out ways of facilitating friend formation/maintenance in this brave new world of the internet and atheism. We are going to need some new social technologies to really combat this. I wonder how in your opinion atheism enters in the picture? My first guess (of your reference) is that certain religions frighten people into remaining in a marriage they would otherwise no…

People who marry and live in the same home with their biological children are by far the happiest and most successful by all kinds of measures.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#374

Post by elAhmo »

This is such a great text!

In my home city, many houses around are my family and childhood friends, and I wish I could replicate that with my other friends too. If I ever become a billionaire and can buy a small village and make everyone move there, it would be a dream coming true!

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#375

Post by derefr »

dlisboa wrote: post #71

Coming from a Latin American the idea of re-starting your life across the country for college and then again for work (multiple times sometimes) while away from family and friends is very foreign. A lot of the conversation around modern American youth feeling isolated, lacking socialization and not building strong relationships seems that stem from this drive. Another thing that’s really weird and related is another…

When Americans are motivated to move out of the small town they were born in, it's often because that "small town" is a dying and depopulated hollow shell full of awful, racist, jobless, drug-addicted idiots who are mostly only surviving off of some kind of long-term disability insurance.

Often, with these kinds of places, they aren't a place your family has lived for generations, and nor are they a place you have the opportunity to form any good connections in; rather, they're somewhere your parents had to move to when they lost their jobs/went bankrupt/etc, and so could no longer afford to live anywhere with higher land values.

Everyone living in these places encourages anyone who has any potential at all, to get out as soon as they can.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#376

Post by jimbokun »

Dalewyn wrote: post #246
dsign wrote: post #230

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> What really needs to happen is we need to figure out ways of facilitating friend formation/maintenance in this brave new world of the internet and atheism. We are going to need some new social technologies to really combat this. I wonder how in your opinion atheism enters in the picture? My first guess (of your reference) is that certain religions frighten people into remaining in a marriage they would otherwise no…

This is going on a tangent, but I would like to point out to you that Atheism is itself a religion: It's a belief in no god(s), a belief in refuting god(s). I'm Japanese, we (Japan) consider ourselves Non-Religious when we choose to celebrate newborn life at Shinto Shrines, weddings at Christian Churches, and funerals and graves at Buddhist Temples with no dogmatic attachment to any of them as an institution as we go…

The Japanese traditions and customs and social systems you describe are really the part of “religion” atheism lacks. There has been no successful attempt to recreate the social bonds and community of religion in an atheistic context.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#377

Post by jimbokun »

rauljordan2020 wrote: post #150
dlisboa wrote: post #71

Coming from a Latin American the idea of re-starting your life across the country for college and then again for work (multiple times sometimes) while away from family and friends is very foreign. A lot of the conversation around modern American youth feeling isolated, lacking socialization and not building strong relationships seems that stem from this drive. Another thing that’s really weird and related is another…

I’m from latin america. The world is a vast, beautiful place with stunning, clean cities full of opportunity and serendipity. Either I can explore the world and live in these places, or go back to my dangerous, dirty city to spend the rest of my life there because family lives there. Sometimes it isn’t worth the tradeoff

The trouble is those clean cities full of opportunity devolve into dangerous dirty cities when the high trust bonds of community break down.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#378

Post by diordiderot »

steve_adams_86 wrote: post #358
grumpy-de-sre wrote: post #212

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Anglo cultures kids aren't usually moving away from home until they are at least ~18 years old. This is not a factor in teenagers feeling isolated. Suburbia and the decline of third places probably play a far greater role in this demographic. It's a common trope on here to lament on how the Anglo cultures don't value family ties strongly enough. I'd argue not overly valuing family ties has been a big competitive a…

> In Anglo cultures kids aren't usually moving away from home until they are at least ~18 years old. This is not a factor in teenagers feeling isolated. But it’s more than a single generation thing. If you live for 18 years in a family that has only recently put down roots in a new place, you won’t have family around, unlikely to have as many family friends around, etc. Community will likely be sparse and colder. You…

In the American South community is as easy as picking a church and going to your kids public school sporting events.

Are there problems, of course, like all societies. But it's easy and it works.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#379

Post by jimbokun »

lioeters wrote: post #250
ustad wrote: post #220

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“Though the roads may wind far and wide, And cities gleam with promises bright, The heart will always turn to the soil, Where the roots of our ancestors lie. No matter how distant the dream may be, Home will call, and there we shall be.” – Mariana Ruiz del Valle

We need a poet who sings about having a "dangerous, dirty city" to call home, and the yearning of the heart is to escape to somewhere better and never returning.

Not hard to find. Most modern artists value leaving home and tradition in pursuit of the novel and transgressive.

Re: Should more of us be moving to live near friends?

#380

Post by diordiderot »

the_gastropod wrote: post #322
nox101 wrote: post #279

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>The good news is that we have the social technology of ... affordable safe high density cities, with parks and high-rises (plus the obligatory blackjack and hookers too!) ... where people can be next to their new and old friends at the same time ... oh my! No such cities exist in the USA

Except for Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Madison, San Antonio, Buffalo, Memphis, …

> Memphis

They said safe my guy

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