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Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

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Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#331

Post by baryphonic »

bitmunk wrote: post #192
tiahura wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Girls must be protected from being asked out at all costs because they are strong and independent future girl-bosses.

Let's change the subjects from "horny upperclassmen" to "MLM representatives that want to get new suckers". Would you be fine with going to a class where a significant percentage of people are trying to get you to sell Amway products? And they don't give a damn about the class?

> Would you be fine with going to a class where a significant percentage of people are trying to get you to sell Amway products? And they don't give a damn about the class?

Yes?

I'm capable of saying no, even aggressively when people don't get the hint. I've even done it in the past, numerous times.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#332

Post by weakfish »

nhchris wrote: post #292
jhanschoo wrote: post #198

I'm appalled that so many other commenters don't see an issue with such behavior in class: > number of female students have approached me, noting they are disgusted and uncomfortable with the amount of leching taking place > It's also demoralizing several of them, since we routinely have cases where a young man is leading open labs as if they're a teacher themselves (in order to "wow" their female classmates, offer "…

Less attractive girls get less male attention no matter what. Why would it be any more demoralizing if that attention comes with tutoring? Why would it be distracting? It seems everyone is complaining except the girls getting tutored. And if they did complain, if some guy was pushy or wouldn't take no for an answer, then deal with him the same as any other such guy - that they're attending a class for the sake of dat…

It would be demoralizing because your attractiveness shouldn’t factor into whether you can get academic help

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#333

Post by cpach »

lazide wrote: post #237
elil17 wrote: post #149

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It’s disrespectful because it ignores the fact that the women are not there to date, but to learn. The men are getting in their way by showing off and offering disingenuous tutoring.

Why do you assume the women aren’t as interested in dating as the men? Seems pretty sexist frankly.

The guys mentioned opted to audit the class with the explicit purpouse of flirting.

I think we can assume that most freshmen did not share that explicit purpose for taking the class.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#334

Post by ambyra »

One of the reasons people go to college is to find a partner. It’s a good place for meeting new people, and getting a good idea of their personality/intelligence.

Maybe the college could prioritize students that actually need the class, limit the class size, and not let so many random seniors in.

I also think it would be good for us nerds to take a few art classes now and then :)

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#335

Post by ZephyrBlu »

ImaCake wrote: post #315
ZephyrBlu wrote: post #288

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect. If this isn't a respectful attempt, can you explain what is a respectful attempt? You go to a class, offer to help a girl and then at some point later (End of the class, etc) you ask for her number. If she says no at any point you leave her alone. What's disrespectful about that if you're genuinely helping her? Of course if you're leering and won't leave a girl alo…

>Effort is generally a pretty good proxy for respect My example above says otherwise. >can you explain what is a respectful attempt? One done in good faith. Which is a slippery and vague concept. The ambiguity would explain the state of this comment section. >taking a class and offering help to attractive girls isn't inherently disrespectful I, and others, would consider the crucial point here to be "taking the class…

Generally.

If men have to pursue women in "good faith" and not purposefully try to position themselves then I have news for you, 99% of men are 'disrespectful'.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#337

Post by type-r »

texaslonghorn5 wrote: post #272
troupe wrote: post #223

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Richard Feynman choose to learn Portuguese instead of Spanish because there was a pretty girl in the Portuguese class line.

considering what we know about Richard Feynman's personal life, I'm not sure this is the great example you think it is.

what do we know? genuinely asking

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#338

Post by ShredKazoo »

quickthrower2 wrote: post #271
ShredKazoo wrote: post #251

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>Not the same thing because of the power imbalance (older students, that teach labs) The average marriage involves a husband who is taller, older, and wealthier than his wife. Is that power imbalance problematic? Shall we pass a law that men cannot marry women who are shorter, younger, or poorer than they are? >obvious intent there is the threat of unwanted advances Not obvious to me. What incentive is there for coer…

It depends, I made a sister comment that say joining a yoga class or whatever is ok, but team leading a lab full of women to hit on them is not. Tutoring women to hit on them or even “see if I get lucky” is not. It is a conflict of interest clearly. Even just having a bunch of guys in a class they have no intention of studying for or completing just to get lucky is clearly off. Yes people meet each other in jobs and…

>Tutoring women to hit on them or even “see if I get lucky” is not. It is a conflict of interest clearly.

A "conflict of interest" arises when someone is incentivized to act in a way that conflicts with their professional responsibility. E.g. if a surgeon gets paid for a surgery even if the patient doesn't need it, that's a conflict of interest.

There is no professional responsibility for someone auditing a class.

>Even just having a bunch of guys in a class they have no intention of studying for or completing just to get lucky is clearly off.

If it results in an increase in students mastering the material, I'm not sure I see the problem.

>Yes people meet each other in jobs and school etc. but usually by chance not engineered to this degree.

The underlying message seems to be: "people can meet each other, but it has to be done in an inefficient and time-consuming way". Is that what you mean?

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#339

Post by wilsonnb3 »

8note wrote: post #222
quickthrower2 wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Think of it closer to a company where the interns are girls, the team leaders are boys (who took the job to chat up the interns) and are now in a position of power and can legitimately ask for time with the girls (in 1-1s). They don’t do anything illegal or even hit on them overtly but it is creepy as hell.

Are they actually in positions of power? They are not marking papers, and nobody is required by their course to attend said 1-1s

The whole reason they chose these specific classes is because they are in a position of power in the class via already knowing the subject matter.

It's not like they picked random classes that have a lot of girls in them.

Re: Need help with students who've turned my class into a dating service

#340

Post by jeromegv »

jimbob45 wrote: post #233
hsn915 wrote: post #146

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That will not lead to a drop in fertility. Infact, that's exactly how high fertility societies operate. At least the Islamic ones, like Afghanistan for example, where the population doubled since 2001. Fertility has been dropping since the 80s, long before anything to do with wokeism or meetoo or whatever.

Fertility has been dropping since the 80s, long before anything to do with wokeism or meetoo or whatever. So nobody was woke in the 80s? Feminism and homosexuality just sprang up out of nowhere in 2010?

Not sure what your point is exactly? Feminism and LGBTQ rights did not start in the 80s either.
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