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Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

reuters.com

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Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#331

Post by lotsofpulp »

watwut wrote: post #289
ravenstine wrote: post #207

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm 30, and I only know one person in my peer group whom owns a home, and he can only afford it because it's way out in the boonies. If people my age find things like home ownership out of reach, having children becomes a roadblock and therefore becomes undesirable.

Having home should not be requirement for having children. You quite literally don't need it.

People are unhappy when reality doesn’t meet expectations, and so if you grew up with the expectation that your children will grow up in a house and backyard and whatever else, and you can’t attain it, then you will be unhappy.

Technically, you can raise children in a war torn country, since it obviously has happened for many millennia. But with the advent of birth control, it’s much easier to choose.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#332

Post by Animats »

mettamage wrote: post #268
tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I'm seeing a trend in the replies here of the parent that might show an implicit bias towards a particular feeling of powerlessness in getting sex + companionship. If this is you, then know the following: in most cases, one is able to get an abundance of intimacy [1]. I know this because this was one of my life goals in my mid teens to early twenties. It was my first big achievement in life, for me anyway, I worked h…

It's not hard. The whole "pick-up artist" thing did work. The classic book, by the way, is "Scoremanship", by Frank Grey. He was a salesman who'd had formal sales training, and realized that standard sales techniques could be repurposed for dating. That's less silly than the later stuff like "The Game".

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#333

Post by ryandrake »

eigenvalue wrote: post #43
tharne wrote: post #12

They buried the lede here. > Sexual activity was largely unchanged among unmarried women, along with no notable decline among gay men, researchers reported. Basically sex is following the pattern of wealth. Men as a group aren't having less sex, instead there's a winner take all effect where a small number of men are having a lot of sex with a lot of women while a large number of men are having little to no sex. It'l…

I think this is exactly right. Apps like Tinder that normalized online "dating" (before the apps it was much less common among younger people) have allowed the "apex predator" men with good jobs/looks/personalities to have sex on demand with virtually unlimited numbers of women. This has also been made possible because a lot more women are now willing to be in non-exclusive sexual relationships at the beginning when…

I've heard it put succinctly (from more than one person): "I'd rather have 25% of a winner than 100% of a loser". Absent any artificial pressure for monogamy, the data and outcomes described in this thread don't seem too surprising.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#334

Post by mellosouls »

toomuchtodo wrote: post #262
mellosouls wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

men are content to date down, women are not This misses a fundamental point that has been made clear since the advent of Tinder and the like. The terrible experience and loneliness of men not in the top 20% on those apps is because the women on them are not content to date on their level , or even below several rungs above them. Let alone "date down". I've seen this happen with multiple friends of mine, decent (not n…

Society can't "wake up", this is what it wanted. Women being equal, but not interested in "lesser" partners, causes a natural imbalance. You can't "fix" the imbalance without removing free will from market participants.

The history of social constructs and law has been about constraining and enabling "market" participants. Free will doesn't come into it unless you live in an anarchy.

Sometimes those social changes have good results, sometimes bad.

Here there is a clear social ill that has been dismissed for years whenever it is raised in edge fora - perhaps with studies like this being publicised in respectable publications we will begin to look at what we can do to improve the lot of a significant marginalised group.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#335

Post by newguy1234 »

monkeyfacebag wrote: post #233
codingslave wrote: post #50

This is a widespread societal change that I think most people are completely unaware of. The majority of women are sleeping with the top 10% of men, sometimes only the top 3-5%, with the rest barely getting any at all. the sexual revolution was never about free love or sexual freedom, it was about womens rights to sleep with the few men they are all attracted to. The lower 80% of men instead saw their sexual freedom…

I feel like I'm missing something here. If you're in the top 3-5% of men, why are you sleeping with the bottom 50% (or lower) of women?

They just use them for free sex basically. Hump and dump is the motto.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#336

Post by Meekro »

derefr wrote: post #164
monocasa wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think the modern idea isn't that there's no longer a space for dating and sexual encounters; it's that this space isn't work. Work is for work, not finding a wife or mistress or staring at breasts. The club and dating apps is where you go for that. If you and someone you work with both swipe right, then it's fair game. But there's an affirmative, out of work step to getting there.

> The club and dating apps is where you go for that. If you and someone you work with both swipe right, then it's fair game. And then the awful question arises: how do two people meet who would enjoy one-another, but who mutually abhor immersing themselves in a pool of strangers (i.e. clubs, hook-up culture, etc.)? How do socially-anxious introverts meet other socially-anxious introverts? (Certainly not in meet-up ev…

Church really was a major answer to your question-- and still is, in certain subcultures and parts of the country. If you're going to be born as a socially awkward nerd, being born to a God-loving family in a red state is probably a blessing (as far as long-term dating and marriage goes).

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#337

Post by michaelmrose »

ponker wrote: post #95
eigenvalue wrote: post #43

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think this is exactly right. Apps like Tinder that normalized online "dating" (before the apps it was much less common among younger people) have allowed the "apex predator" men with good jobs/looks/personalities to have sex on demand with virtually unlimited numbers of women. This has also been made possible because a lot more women are now willing to be in non-exclusive sexual relationships at the beginning when…

Still could be a powder keg. Lack of sex will drive young men crazier than lack of wealth. “Incel” terrorism is already much more common than class terrorism where poor people just start killing rich people.

Them being defective is a problem we can only address by making mental health services more available not by fixing imaginary social problems.

If you have ever talked with someone like this every one of them is someone who you would want to spend 10 seconds with their problem isn't done defect in women or society.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#338

Post by SwiftyBug »

bjl wrote: post #232
thewarrior wrote: post #167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

But the data also shows that for women the figure is unchanged.

Because the men that are willing to put in the effort are still having sex. Its not hard for a man to become attractive: eat right, exercise often, groom regularly, dress well, develop a compelling personality, cultivate relationships with interesting people. The fact that people who don't even try aren't able to have sex doesn't seem surprising (or bad).

That does not sound like "not hard".

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#339

Post by dimitar »

Isn't the best way to have regular sex is to be in a committed relationship, either a marriage or living with a partner? These are on a decline. Statistically women date/marry and live with older men, so I think it would be expected that they are having more sex in the ages of 18-24.

Re: Young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century, study shows

#340

Post by SwiftyBug »

bjl wrote: post #325
quasarj wrote: post #313

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Its not hard for a man to become attractive Proceeds to list the most difficult things in life.

None of the things listed are difficult at all. They take willpower and time, of course, but they aren't rocket science.

having willpower and time are two of the most dificult things in life.
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