Thinking about the value of my time as (atleast) $50/hr. On average if I waste 20 hours per week, I lose $50000 per year. Which stops me from wasting it, and being mindful about it.
Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
331–340 of 370 posts
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#332Earlier quoted context omitted.
> people who use language in non-standard ways are often judged harshly — and silently — for it Yes. In my culture, the people who can't speak or write correctly are the ones who are uneducated - usually primary school or less. It's basically the local equivalent of rednecks.
Romania?
Yeah :)
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#333My hacks: * Productivity: every day do at least one measurable thing that puts forward your project, even if very small. * Expectations: don't care about the outcome of your work, as long as you tried to put a lot of good efforts into it. Focus on trying to do the thing instead of focusing on the result it will have, or what people will think. * Stress: instead of being preoccupied about things, try to take care of t…
I don't necessarily agree with your expectations bullet point.
I feel that human beings are inherently focused on results/value. Instead of not caring about the result, I consider what the result is (or what it could be).
In a less roundabout way -- I am always thinking about what I am getting out of the current moment. Be it measurable impact or some sort of insight/learning. That way, even the most abject failures have value to me.
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#334Earlier quoted context omitted.
Good question! Perhaps because loneliness points to the difficulty of reaching out and the lack of other people who might give you a different perspective.
I don't know if this makes. I think we live in a culture that fetishizes socialization. I've never decided on anything in my life with my friends, it even feels weird to do. I think not deciding on anything while emotional (sad, angry, happy, excited, frustrated etc) is a good idea, but ultimately a decision should be taken when alone, I think.
> I think we live in a culture that fetishizes socialization.
My personal take is that it's important to strike a balance between socializing with other people and solitude. Having said that, that balance might vary according to the individual. And I would emphasize particularly the socialization in the real world.
> [...] ultimately a decision should be taken when alone, I think.
I think I see what you're saying. I wouldn't take the A in HALT to be absolute. I'm certainly not in favor of group think when involving one individual's life. My interpretation is along the lines: Hey, it's an important decision involving a very complex situation, perhaps I should ask for a second opinion before I make up my mind. I think the preparation prior to the actual decision making, is part of the decision itself.
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#335Earlier quoted context omitted.
What if I don't want to be who I am and I want to change myself? Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don't want to be like this at all. I can't stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I'd much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.
I share in your pain. This world is openly cruel to men that don't follow gender norms, and we often have to wear uncomfortable masks to keep ourselves safe from all the jerks out there. It is exhausting to wear those masks all day, and sometimes we just can't take it anymore and have to withdraw from everyone. But there are also lots of people out there that know better than to mistreat someone for their gender expr…
> If you there is a community of nonbinary/gender nonconforming/genderqueer organizers near you, that can be a good place to start looking.
I think this is completely the wrong advice for who you're talking to. From the sounds of it he's complely, unquestionably a man who wants to present as completely, unquestionably a man too, but doesn't for whatever reasons.
It seems like you're saying "yeah you're a girly man, that's what you are now, better learn to embrace it" rather than "learn to express yourself how you want".
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#336The most effective trick is to write down whatever you are going to do. You won’t believe how effective is it before you start doing it. Just write them down. I prefer pen and paper. This is one of the things you hear a lot and you ignore it by default. Start making it a habit my friend. The second trick is to learn to write a simple decision tree. Stop comparing pros on cons on your head for all critical decisions.…
The decision tree sounds a bit like what Ray Dalio lays out in this Principles book. I haven't had a chance to construct one yet but it sounds like a really interesting project. Can you share a bit more about yours?
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#337My top 3, in order of how I try to apply them (i.e., if 1 doesn't help, move on to 2, etc.). I learned these all from reading various philosophy works, by the way, so perhaps cognitive hack #1 should be "read books". 1) Suspension of judgement (from Sextus Empiricus, Zhuang Zi, Ecclesiastes): avoid forming an opinion at all about things that are not evident. The way I do this is by thinking through an opposing argume…
0) Keeping one's mouth shut. Trying to not have an opinion until a) having enough information b) only voicing it if it is important. I am trying to spend more time perceiving instead of broadcasting.
Listening is an important skill. To avoid being perceived as passive or absent, "active listening" [1] can be helpful. Just remember that you are communicating via a shared medium (half-duplex) so sending should be kept to the necessary minimum ;-)
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#338Don't jump to conclusions (early). Remember the story of the boy and the horse: Maybe so, Maybe not. We’ll see. [1]
[1] First search result I found: http://www.drmarlo.com/?page_id=181
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#339Set your profile picture (Slack/Twitter/GitHub/etc) to something happy. You’ll see it thousands of times a day as background noise, but it will affect both your own mood and how other people treat you.
Nice.
Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?
#340Earlier quoted context omitted.
I share in your pain. This world is openly cruel to men that don't follow gender norms, and we often have to wear uncomfortable masks to keep ourselves safe from all the jerks out there. It is exhausting to wear those masks all day, and sometimes we just can't take it anymore and have to withdraw from everyone. But there are also lots of people out there that know better than to mistreat someone for their gender expr…
> If you there is a community of nonbinary/gender nonconforming/genderqueer organizers near you, that can be a good place to start looking. I think this is completely the wrong advice for who you're talking to. From the sounds of it he's complely, unquestionably a man who wants to present as completely, unquestionably a man too, but doesn't for whatever reasons. It seems like you're saying "yeah you're a girly man, t…
> It seems like you're saying "yeah you're a girly man, that's what you are now, better learn to embrace it" rather than "learn to express yourself how you want".
It's true, I am saying that. I think the root problem is how the parent comment author is being treated, rather than how he is acting, since his main motivation for changing how he acts is to be treated differently.
He's free to reject my advice, but I know that when I was a younger person going through the same thing, it was exactly this advice that helped me survive after many years of only being ineffectively told that I needed to "man up."