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Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

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Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#281

Post by RickS »

chess44 wrote: post #226
antirez wrote: post #117

My hacks: * Productivity: every day do at least one measurable thing that puts forward your project, even if very small. * Expectations: don't care about the outcome of your work, as long as you tried to put a lot of good efforts into it. Focus on trying to do the thing instead of focusing on the result it will have, or what people will think. * Stress: instead of being preoccupied about things, try to take care of t…

What if I don't want to be who I am and I want to change myself? Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don't want to be like this at all. I can't stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I'd much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.

The other reply about "best self" is apt. It is perfectly reasonable, and at times even necessary, to not want to be yourself.

For example, if the OP advice of "let your inner person go out in every occasion in order to immediately push away people that don't like you" leads to a bunch of mean shit that alienates women, that's probably a thing worth changing.

The advice in that sentence is more for people who have fears like "I don't want to talk about my hobbies because I'm scared people won't respect me". All advice isn't right for all people, here's one of my favorite articles about that: http://slatestarcodex.com/2013/06/09/all-debates-are-bravery...

My advice is to examine why you don't want to be yourself: if you're living in a way that's incongruent with your values, or values that you want to have because you believe they would make your life and the world genuinely better, then yeah, start making changes in pursuit of those values.

If people are treating you badly for ways that you are, and, were you not being mistreated, you'd be okay staying the way you are? And nobody claims to be harmed by the way you are (highly unlikely, from the sound of it)? Stay you. Find new people. It is crazy how varied, and how sandboxed, groups of people are. The subculture switching cost is very nearly zero, and you'll never bump into the last batch once you make the jump.

Feel free to email me if you ever want to chat, it's in my profile.

Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#283

Post by thisacctforreal »

barbs wrote: post #240
Hoasi wrote: post #139

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I found a simple 3 columns list to be useful to visualize tasks. | To Do | Doing | Done |

Wouldn't this be hard to move items if it's written down? Unless you're using some sort of program like Trello?

A wall and some sticky notes might be a good method.

Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#284

Post by stevenkovar »

nothrabannosir wrote: post #215

“If I’m getting upset, I’m probably wrong.” It’s a specific kind of feeling, when my brain starts protecting itself against information that proves me wrong. Kind of like a real threat. It feels like I’m under attack, and I’m losing. I get subtly upset (because I’m a know-it-all and I want to be right), which is itself quickly reframed as anger, probably by that same mechanism. Probably much easier to admit that I’m…

Relevant: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance, https://www.simplypsychology.org/cognitive-dissonance.html

Similarly: if you are getting upset in such a fashion, it can help to take a literal step back from the situation (or idea) causing it—go for a short walk. From a long-term perspective, getting upset over one small thing is not worth the mental anguish and lost time.

Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#285

Post by metamicah »

chess44 wrote: post #226
antirez wrote: post #117

My hacks: * Productivity: every day do at least one measurable thing that puts forward your project, even if very small. * Expectations: don't care about the outcome of your work, as long as you tried to put a lot of good efforts into it. Focus on trying to do the thing instead of focusing on the result it will have, or what people will think. * Stress: instead of being preoccupied about things, try to take care of t…

What if I don't want to be who I am and I want to change myself? Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don't want to be like this at all. I can't stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I'd much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.

I share in your pain. This world is openly cruel to men that don't follow gender norms, and we often have to wear uncomfortable masks to keep ourselves safe from all the jerks out there. It is exhausting to wear those masks all day, and sometimes we just can't take it anymore and have to withdraw from everyone.

But there are also lots of people out there that know better than to mistreat someone for their gender expression. There are people out there that even find it worth celebrating. If you there is a community of nonbinary/gender nonconforming/genderqueer organizers near you, that can be a good place to start looking. And maybe someday, with enough help from your community and possibly therapy, you can learn to celebrate yourself for how you express yourself too. You are worthy of it.

Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#286

Post by cxhandley »

The concept of "software for your brain".

You choose the apps you want to use. You download them with practice by developing skill.

Common ones I use are:

- Scanning. Scan for good, bad or better, or whatever way you choose.

- Clear. Write down everything, unload.

- Other point of view.

There are unlimited ways to think. You just need to learn how to design/copy and download it to your brain.

Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#287

Post by Retra »

nerpderp82 wrote: post #183
cdicelico wrote: post #78

My top 3, in order of how I try to apply them (i.e., if 1 doesn't help, move on to 2, etc.). I learned these all from reading various philosophy works, by the way, so perhaps cognitive hack #1 should be "read books". 1) Suspension of judgement (from Sextus Empiricus, Zhuang Zi, Ecclesiastes): avoid forming an opinion at all about things that are not evident. The way I do this is by thinking through an opposing argume…

0) Keeping one's mouth shut. Trying to not have an opinion until a) having enough information b) only voicing it if it is important. I am trying to spend more time perceiving instead of broadcasting.

A corollary: if something is true, but not relevant, then why should anybody care if it is true? Know when you're putting your efforts into things that can't pay off.

Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#288

Post by cybersol »

chess44 wrote: post #226
antirez wrote: post #117

My hacks: * Productivity: every day do at least one measurable thing that puts forward your project, even if very small. * Expectations: don't care about the outcome of your work, as long as you tried to put a lot of good efforts into it. Focus on trying to do the thing instead of focusing on the result it will have, or what people will think. * Stress: instead of being preoccupied about things, try to take care of t…

What if I don't want to be who I am and I want to change myself? Apparently I am a very feminine man and I don't want to be like this at all. I can't stand how people treat me. When I am being myself I'd much rather not socialize at all than try to meet people.

Remind yourself that you deserve to take up space as much as many people. Confidence and owning your space are some of the most manly traits. When you're confident, you can also be ok with whatever amount of alone time you need.

Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#289

Post by bookofjoe »

pmarreck wrote: post #141
cozuya wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would add to write done where you are when you are done for the day or switch to something else. I have an incredibly hard time picking up where I left off without something like this as apparently I'm able to compartmentalize more easily than some of my peers.

Some mornings it's just hard to get started. A trick I use is to start something "easy" towards the end of the day, but not finish it . That makes it easier to get the ball rolling the next morning.

To that end, Hemingway would stop writing for the day when it was going well, in the hope that resuming the next day would see a continuation of that ease.

Re: Ask HN: What are your “brain hacks” that help you manage everyday situations?

#290

Post by heyimherelol »

crawfordcomeaux wrote: post #178
cdicelico wrote: post #78

My top 3, in order of how I try to apply them (i.e., if 1 doesn't help, move on to 2, etc.). I learned these all from reading various philosophy works, by the way, so perhaps cognitive hack #1 should be "read books". 1) Suspension of judgement (from Sextus Empiricus, Zhuang Zi, Ecclesiastes): avoid forming an opinion at all about things that are not evident. The way I do this is by thinking through an opposing argume…

I'd say another common theme in these is language hacking (I'm assuming the different thinking modes come with their own language constructs). And that's the big thing that's changed my life around. Specifically, how I pulled off the first two was with a practice I'd do when I'd hear a word with an antonym. I'd shrug and say "meh... ... ...meh." I came up with this practice because I wanted to learn to suspend/minimi…

Would love to check out your book whenever you release it! I think a lot of what you do is similar to the Hindu/Buddhist approach of accepting the moment for what it is, and figuring out what you can learn from every moment and experiencing it without too much emotion attached to it. But you seem to have more practical advice on how to accomplish that, which I look forward to hearing.
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