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Having Kids (2019)

paulgraham.com

321–323 of 323 posts

Re: Having Kids (2019)

#321
post #291

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Assuming the income stays the same, I'd happily swap places. I suspect many people would. There are 2 further points: 1. I'd say the ideal setting is for both parents to work and hire a sitter even though it might financially net the same (or affordably negative) as having one stay-at-home parent. Because a human needs community and diverse things to do, not just one thing over and over everyday for years. Both of th…

granted our kids were easy, but kids don't need to sleep by themselves. see attachment parenting. we let the kids sleep in our bed which solved the sleeping problem and the feeding problem because the kids could get milk at night without my wife having to get up and be wide awake. i can't speak for my wife's experience directly, but while she complained about other issues, lack of sleep was never her problem. and the…

> kids don't need to sleep by themselves. see attachment parenting

I misused the word a bit.

I meant the kid had a hard time falling asleep. They would get cranky. They would take >30 minutes to fall asleep. They would get up and walk around wanting to play but they would be cranky because they were sleepy. Co-sleeping or not is independent of this.

Re: Having Kids (2019)

#322
post #291

Earlier quoted context omitted.

granted our kids were easy, but kids don't need to sleep by themselves. see attachment parenting. we let the kids sleep in our bed which solved the sleeping problem and the feeding problem because the kids could get milk at night without my wife having to get up and be wide awake. i can't speak for my wife's experience directly, but while she complained about other issues, lack of sleep was never her problem. and the…

> kids don't need to sleep by themselves. see attachment parenting I misused the word a bit. I meant the kid had a hard time falling asleep. They would get cranky. They would take >30 minutes to fall asleep. They would get up and walk around wanting to play but they would be cranky because they were sleepy. Co-sleeping or not is independent of this.

Co-sleeping or not is independent of this

unless the child doesn't like to be held then i believe co-sleeping does help here.

cuddling together, maybe reading a story provides an alternative to directly sleeping or playing, allowing the child to settle down until it falls asleep...

from my observation, a child not wanting to go to sleep is coming from the child needing to sleep alone.

Re: Having Kids (2019)

#323

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> people who choose to be child free are not complete human beings Hmm, this seems pretty condescending, but hopefully it is just in jest. With four kids I understand there is a unique set of skills and emotions that come along with it and I am personally grateful for, but there are also a lot skills and emotions you won't have and experience if you never go to war, never become a leader, never experience losing a pa…

I think having kids connects you to humanity in a deeply personal way and connection to humanity is at the higher level than anecdotal example of various human experiences we’ll never experience first hand.

I think there are many ways to develop superiority beliefs though.
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