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Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

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Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#301

Post by 123pie123 »

nerpderp82 wrote: post #220
123pie123 wrote: post #218

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can relate to most of the things you've said for me, my imposter syndrome comes mainly when I look around and see everyone working hard and struggling to do stuff well and I feel like I'm not even in 2nd gear and doing as well. So I think I feel like I'm only putting in less then 25% effort and getting 100% of the normal results (relative to others) - it feels wrong, it's like finishing a test or exam too soon and…

I am going to use this for my humble brag training next week.

I should have added:

I really do think I have ADHD and I do become obsessive about things,

my job is my hobby, so I probably put more time in to things than what i realise,

but I still do feel like an imposter occasionally (less so with getting older)

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#302

Post by the_only_law »

ASalazarMX wrote: post #251
123pie123 wrote: post #218

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can relate to most of the things you've said for me, my imposter syndrome comes mainly when I look around and see everyone working hard and struggling to do stuff well and I feel like I'm not even in 2nd gear and doing as well. So I think I feel like I'm only putting in less then 25% effort and getting 100% of the normal results (relative to others) - it feels wrong, it's like finishing a test or exam too soon and…

Used to be a midrange programmer who others thought as brilliant. It was hard to start two decades ago, but always looking for a challenge meant consistent growth for years. After five years it felt too easy, like cheating. My peers would struggle for a week with what I could deliver in an afternoon. Seeking better opportunities I migrated to web development, and boy, it's hard to be a novice again. Everyone I worked…

> Now web development doesn't pay that well, so the natural path was cybersecurity. Still learning, and I feel like this will be my last career change because it takes years to stop feeling dumb and start feeling like an impostor again.

Does cybersecurity pay better, at least in certain markets/contexts I was under the impression that doing web dev would land you several thousands more salary wise, though I'd certainly settle to work on the parts of security I'm not smart enough to lmao.

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#303

Post by andrea_sdl »

deanCommie wrote: post #77

A lot of the discussion here is treating impostor syndrome and qualifications as binary: You're either qualified or not. And your evaluation of your skills is either above your actual skills or not. But it's more nuanced than that. I'm a Principal Engineer at a FAAMNG company. I have impostor syndrome all the time. Why? Because I measure myself against 1) role models that are ahead of me in many ways - I've always do…

I feel the same way and being a 'Generalist' mostly because of my ability to adapt any environment is both amazing and terrible.

The terrible part is mostly because I got too many roles and zero help to grow (I'm often the icebreaker of a tech or role), which lead me to myself doing the actual criticism to ensure I'm doing my best.

On the other hand this kind of continuous self-doubt is stressing, so reading a comment like yours is a relief :)

Thanks for writing it :)

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#304

Post by onjectic »

mewpmewp2 wrote: post #97
vasco wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Agree, specially because everyone has above average IQ. That being said this conversation always feels to me like "are soldiers afraid before a battle" type discussion. Either they are or they aren't has no bearing on what they do. They have to be brave and get out there. Same here, just realise everyone has doubts, and instead of spending time making a big thing of it and "dealing with it", just put your head down a…

The issue in these cases is that you have a hard time not focusing on them. These intrusive thoughts come all the time, take up mental energy and time. It would be best to just focus on actually building things, but it's not always as simple. It may alleviate the thoughts if you knew for sure that you are not an impostor from a source you can trust or perhaps it will require therapy. Or maybe you can actually push th…

Having a very hard time not focusing on intrusive thoughts is a symptom of OCD.

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#305

Post by erikpukinskis »

IggleSniggle wrote: post #136
nostrademons wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I still think that the acronym should be "FN MAGA". Microsoft, Apple, Google, and Amazon are the big-4 companies, with notably larger market caps than Facebook and Netflix, and those 4 are more broad platforms/conglomerates while Facebook and Netflix are closely associated with a single app or small set of apps.

Facebook has grown into a lot of the things. It probably deserves to be grouped with the others. I honestly thing FAANG became the acronym because these companies were making big waves simultaneously at one point, and the acronym is attractive. There’s never been any good reason not to include Microsoft except that for a long time it was considered old and stodgy. Netflix doesn’t make sense in terms of market cap, an…

I think it’s because Microsoft’s market cap was stagnant for the entirety of Ballmer’s tenure as CEO.

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#306

Post by ellen364 »

RIDDLERTHIS wrote: post #158
deanCommie wrote: post #77

A lot of the discussion here is treating impostor syndrome and qualifications as binary: You're either qualified or not. And your evaluation of your skills is either above your actual skills or not. But it's more nuanced than that. I'm a Principal Engineer at a FAAMNG company. I have impostor syndrome all the time. Why? Because I measure myself against 1) role models that are ahead of me in many ways - I've always do…

I think I agree with your description. I'm currently sitting on three job offers - I originally thought it would be easy to choose, but I find myself absolutely paralyzed right now with an inability to make a decision on any of them because I feel as though I will be expected to know more than I think I know, or to perform at a level beyond what I feel comfortable performing at. I've had a lot of great feedback from…

I’ve found it useful to think of not-deciding as a decision. Right now you’re feeling paralysed and unable to decide. But, in a strange way, your decision is to avoid making a decision. Maybe that’s going to protect you from pain. Or maybe it’s going to close doors. Maybe it’ll do both. But thinking about not-deciding as a decision has helped me consider whether that decision to not-decide is working for me. YMMV, of course. I hope things work out for you, whatever route you take.

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#307

Post by junon »

deanCommie wrote: post #77

A lot of the discussion here is treating impostor syndrome and qualifications as binary: You're either qualified or not. And your evaluation of your skills is either above your actual skills or not. But it's more nuanced than that. I'm a Principal Engineer at a FAAMNG company. I have impostor syndrome all the time. Why? Because I measure myself against 1) role models that are ahead of me in many ways - I've always do…

Summed it up quite well.

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#308

Post by atoav »

I am not sure if this is true, there was more than one occasion where I felt like an imposter because on some level I was imposting. E.g. when as a freelancer I took jobs that felt to far out for my abilities. I still had to tell the customer that it is doable, I totally knew that I had no idea how to do it and I told them I did anyways (and I felt stressed about it).

To all fairness I managed to deliver in all of these cases, so I maybe don't fit the role of an "actual imposter" very squarely.

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#309

Post by labster »

polote wrote: post #131
deanCommie wrote: post #77

A lot of the discussion here is treating impostor syndrome and qualifications as binary: You're either qualified or not. And your evaluation of your skills is either above your actual skills or not. But it's more nuanced than that. I'm a Principal Engineer at a FAAMNG company. I have impostor syndrome all the time. Why? Because I measure myself against 1) role models that are ahead of me in many ways - I've always do…

Honest question, imagine if at your company tomorrow they decide to fire one principal engineer. Would you find it fair that the one is you? Would yo find it fair if you were among the 10% they fire? The 20%? The 30%? I ask you that because it is much simpler to answer to a binary question like, do I have imposter syndrome? Or put in other words, am I modest? You can make the link with how people see themselves. A lo…

I went ahead and did the experiment: I felt like I was contributing nothing of value at my last job after seven years and just slowed things down, so I ended up giving 5 weeks notice. My employer agreed I was useless and decided to turn that into 9 days notice.

The result: they are even further behind than they were with me, and occasionally people still contact me from the old company for tech advice. I guess it was imposter syndrome after all!

Re: Actual impostors don't get impostor syndrome

#310

Post by throw_busfactor »

andrea_sdl wrote: post #303
deanCommie wrote: post #77

A lot of the discussion here is treating impostor syndrome and qualifications as binary: You're either qualified or not. And your evaluation of your skills is either above your actual skills or not. But it's more nuanced than that. I'm a Principal Engineer at a FAAMNG company. I have impostor syndrome all the time. Why? Because I measure myself against 1) role models that are ahead of me in many ways - I've always do…

I feel the same way and being a 'Generalist' mostly because of my ability to adapt any environment is both amazing and terrible. The terrible part is mostly because I got too many roles and zero help to grow (I'm often the icebreaker of a tech or role), which lead me to myself doing the actual criticism to ensure I'm doing my best. On the other hand this kind of continuous self-doubt is stressing, so reading a commen…

And thanks for writing your comment about his comment.

I think I sail the same kind of ship as you, at work I'm like a jack of all trades and pretty isolated. Took me long to realize it wasn't my fault if management put too much on my shoulder and I have no peer to share with. It's a management issue if our bus factor is 1 on many project.

While I often get praise from my CEO the impostor syndrome is part of my daily routine.

Out of work, I'm currently in the process of finally releasing to GitHub a half-baked side-project I invested 100+ hours of personal time but was really too ashamed of to publish. It's not perfect, it'll never be and it's ok. Maybe it will even help me migrate to a better workplace.

Lot's of comment int his thread ring a bell for me!

Thank you all!

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