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Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

kapwing.com

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Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#301

Post by ABCLAW »

verroq wrote: post #265
thaumaturgy wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I am so glad someone on HN is here to enforce rigorous standards when it comes to this topic, in particular. Because there have been multiple accounts of bad behavior, both subtle and not-subtle, at tech conferences ( https://shift.newco.co/what-its-like-to-be-a-woman-at-a-tech... , https://blog.juliaferraioli.com/2014/08/do-you-even.html ), but those aren't studies, they're just isolated experiences, so we can ignor…

>I am so glad someone on HN is here to enforce rigorous standards when it comes to this topic, in particular. I am so glad someone on HN is here to tell us exactly why we aren't allowed to have a rigorous discussion when it comes to this topic, in particular. It is interesting how you immediately reframe women getting harassed as misogyny. Nevermind women likely get more attention online as well. Let's have a look at…

I like how the unstated assumption that unwashed CS nerds are obviously hostile towards women is not further examined.

Namely because that unstated premise is almost exactly the conclusion of the argument you're trying to argue against.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#302

Post by TheAdamAndChe »

jjeaff wrote: post #142
TheAdamAndChe wrote: post #111

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I hear this all the time, but I'd love some stats on this. It's not like the internet is a great place for those who don't reveal their gender.

This article had stats. Several thousand interactions with a statistically significant difference. Exactly how many stats do you need?

I don't have a precise number, but I need more than one anecdote from one website. Preferably something with data that was rigorously obtained.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#304

Post by contravariant »

It would be nice to have some labels on the bar graph.

I assume that orange represents the rude messages and blue the heckling, but for all I know it's the other way around. It's even possible that one column is for normal messages and one for rude/heckling messages, especially since I'm not entirely sure what the difference is between between rude/trolling and sexual-harassment/heckling (I'd understand if it were rude/sexual-harassment vs. trolling/heckling).

I would also be interested in whether there was any effect on the number of 'normal' messages.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#305

Post by kohanz »

alkonaut wrote: post #191

Kids who grew up in an environment where anonymous interaction is the norm (such as kids who have anonymous social chats at school, or do in-game chats etc) have grown so accustomed to it that I don't think they even see it as sexist, racist, bullying etc. Most would probably never say any of this to someones' face, not out of fear of consequences but simply because they know better. Yet in anonymous contact they don…

I partly agree, but it's also a bit of a cop out, to be honest. Anyone who has been in such an anonymous chat environment (game or otherwise) and has dished out such abuse has undoubtedly received it too and know how it feels. They do it because it illicits a reaction on the other end and they too have felt that reaction and decided they would rather be on the other end of it.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#306

Post by kirillseva »

mdpopescu wrote: post #264
rocqua wrote: post #216

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Rude people are sexist" still means we have a 'systemic' problem of sexism. In fact, one might argue that rude people being sexist are worse than polite people being sexist. Because the rude people are more disruptive over all. The statement 'sexism is everywhere' does not mean 'almost all people are sexist'. Instead, it means 'almost all women suffer from sexist attitudes in most areas of their lives. If 10% of peo…

So, you're saying that the problem is actually very small?

that's what she said

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#307

Post by staticelf »

alkonaut wrote: post #191

Kids who grew up in an environment where anonymous interaction is the norm (such as kids who have anonymous social chats at school, or do in-game chats etc) have grown so accustomed to it that I don't think they even see it as sexist, racist, bullying etc. Most would probably never say any of this to someones' face, not out of fear of consequences but simply because they know better. Yet in anonymous contact they don…

When I play online games, in this example PUBG, I think a part of the fun is to be rude and aggressive before the match starts. You're about to virtually shoot them in the head so saying something rude to random online gamers doesn't feel at all bad. Other people often respond back, just as rudely and I think it's hilarious.

It can't be just me who thinks and acts like this? Context matters a lot in my opinion.

Although, I am never rude to someone IRL or even on a more serious note outside of online gaming. It's nice to vent and I don't think other players in PUBG care at all.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#308

Post by Belphemur »

eitland wrote: post #297
jsjohnst wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you hit the nail on the head, anonymity can bring out the worst in someone, especially when they feel there is zero repercussions. It’s partly why I hate the throw away accounts here.

Disagree strongly. And HN is proof that this isn't (entirely) true. In fact HN is a lot nicer than a number of verified name forums.

We need also to compare the user base ...

The user's age on HN is in the ballpark of 25-40 years old, as it's a tech website.

The website in OP is a meme generator, and I'm sure the ballpack would be 12-18 years.

Now considering this, I agree with alkonaut.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#309

Post by newman8r »

vegardx wrote: post #197
jakobegger wrote: post #101

Amazing. The author spends a lot of time to tell us a very convincing story how sexism affects people in our industry, and the Hacker News thread is full of people rationalizing it. - it's only because people think you're a bot - it's because of your target audience - it's because chat widgets are annoying - you don't really have enough data to make any conclusions How much will it take to convince the average HN rea…

Anecdotal and not really a big problem, but it took me having to put my coke in a coffee cup to be taken seriously in meetings to really "get it".

You also have to sip it slower than you normally would with a coke, taking small sips and exhaling slowly after each sip. But I'm sure you already know that.

Re: Why I don't use my real photo when messaging with customers on my website

#310

Post by rkangel »

verroq wrote: post #105
jakobegger wrote: post #101

Amazing. The author spends a lot of time to tell us a very convincing story how sexism affects people in our industry, and the Hacker News thread is full of people rationalizing it. - it's only because people think you're a bot - it's because of your target audience - it's because chat widgets are annoying - you don't really have enough data to make any conclusions How much will it take to convince the average HN rea…

"Rude people are sexist" or "Sexist people are rude" is about the only conclusion you can draw here (maybe not even that, correlation != causation etc etc) It doesn't even come close to showing how "sexism is everywhere". For all we know the sample could be entirely edgy 12 year olds. Tell me again how this self-admittedly "non-rigorous scientific study" proves "sexism is everywhere"? It could easily be that more att…

The conclusion you can draw here is that being female will makes you the target of abuse that you wouldn't receive as another gender (or species in the case of this article). Other people have provided data that supports the case that this is a widespread problem that faces female tech-people (and even that is a subset of a larger problem).

To take it to extremes, that abuse could entirely be the fault of one single person who frequents every forum on the internet (you suggested it was "just 12 year old boys"). That the cause of the problem is only a small subset of men in no way affects the fact that there is a problem that makes being a female tech-person a less pleasant experience than being a male tech person.

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