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Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

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Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#31

Post by comrh »

smartistone wrote: post #21

attention seeking behavior- attempting suicide and then blogging about it and then possibly posting it here and elsewhere. also not sure how this story relates to hacking, computers, etc Why didn't the college do more? Because it's a place intended for learning, not mental health rehabilitation.

The point of the post is to help other people dealing with the same thing. Colleges have populations of young people on their own for the first time dealing with new and extremely taxing issues. They have a responsibility to take mental health seriously and offer support. The same way a disabled student would be supported.

Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#33

Post by dhfjgkrgjg »

A member of our year took their life at college. None of us knew whatever was going on in their life or mind. And that is the hardest part - societal stigma prevented the person reaching out to peers and friends, and probably stopped us collectively being proactive in stepping in, in case we mistakenly labelled someone as appearing in need of help.

It transpired they had tried to reach help online, the place where most youth head these days, but instead of help they received encouragement to kill themaelves.

Cracking the very tough nut of getting people actually talking would save more lives and disrupt more attempts.

Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#34

Post by sp332 »

mentalhealth wrote: post #20
a3voices wrote: post #2

> I tried to kill myself at Penn because I felt so utterly alone. If I was the only person on Earth, I wouldn't kill myself. Life isn't about feeling happy all the time.

Suicidal ideation is, in general, not a choice a person makes. It's the result of a combination of depression and lack of inhibition, due to anything ranging from psychosis to extreme anxiety or stress. If you were sufficiently depressed and stressed from being the last person on Earth, you'd most likely commit suicide.

Exactly, so the statement "I tried to kill myself at Penn because I felt so utterly alone." is probably wrong. I mean it's probably subjectively true, and it's informative, but loneliness probably didn't cause this person to attempt suicide.

Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#35

Post by watty »

> it is that the environment here is so stressful that everyone is driven to the point where they need to be at CAPS.

I feel sorry for those who suffer from depression, I have been there myself in a rough patch of my life. It seems like the author is indirectly blaming Penn, that it causes all students to "NEED" a therapist. This simply isn't true.

Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#36

Post by carbocation »

tptacek wrote: post #6

Penn’s response? – Sending some administrator to see me in the hospital (HUP). The first and only thing that she said was, “Are we going to make this an annual pattern?” because I had been hospitalized the year before. I said “No” and she gave me her business card. My kids are going to college in a couple of years. How do I avoid sending them to places like this? People expect (and should expect) to be treated better…

I have no affiliation with Penn. However, I would be cautious before accepting the literal words of the story at face value.

I accept without reservation that this is how this person perceives the interaction with the administrator. But before accepting that this is how Penn's administrators believe they interacted with the person, or how a third party would perceive the interaction, I'd like more information. Being ill enough to be in the hospital -- even for non-psychiatric disease -- can cloud the sensorium. And this is a grave allegation.

Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#37

Post by grannyg00se »

"The night of my suicide attempt I called a friend and told him that I was contemplating suicide. He told me he was sorry and to call a suicide hotline. We have not talked about my suicide attempt since that night. "

The word 'friend' is used over ten times referring to some human acquaintance or other but it really seems like this person doesn't have a single real friend.

Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#38

Post by mrjaeger »

tptacek wrote: post #6

Penn’s response? – Sending some administrator to see me in the hospital (HUP). The first and only thing that she said was, “Are we going to make this an annual pattern?” because I had been hospitalized the year before. I said “No” and she gave me her business card. My kids are going to college in a couple of years. How do I avoid sending them to places like this? People expect (and should expect) to be treated better…

I think this very much depends on what your kids are like. Are they very outgoing and good in new situations? Then it most likely won't matter where you send them - they will find a place they fit in and have a great group of friends they can be supported by. However if they may not be as naturally personable, then looking into what the school itself offers and how your child will be able to take advantage of that is crucial.

And the other huge factor to me is what your kids want to study. A big factor in this person getting into this situation in the first place was the crushing sense of loneliness she felt at Penn due to the fact that she couldn't have real social interactions with her friends. There was always some secondary motive (studying most often) that didn't allow her to just relax and be comfortable. I went to a large state school where people certainly valued doing well at school, but where socializing and being there for each other was paramount. There just wasn't such an ingrained culture of '4.0 GPA or death' that seems to come up in these more competitive schools. I had a bunch of friends with minor to severe mental health issues and there was never any doubt about what came first - grades or friends, and this seemed to be the way I saw most people interact.

However I was also lucky to be in a field where my side-projects and initiative counted for more than anything else. If I had been trying to become a doctor, or a lawyer, or some trader on Wall Street, my choice in schools could have been a serious detriment to my career. But to me becoming a well adjusted person and learning to deal with all the world can throw at you were perhaps the most important things I got out of college. Just my 2 cents.

Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#39

Post by lutusp »

tptacek wrote: post #6

Penn’s response? – Sending some administrator to see me in the hospital (HUP). The first and only thing that she said was, “Are we going to make this an annual pattern?” because I had been hospitalized the year before. I said “No” and she gave me her business card. My kids are going to college in a couple of years. How do I avoid sending them to places like this? People expect (and should expect) to be treated better…

I suggest that you think a bit more deeply about this. It's possible that the administrator was being thoughtless, but there's another interpretation -- it's a bad idea to give suicide attempters too much attention. By responding with too much sympathy, one can become a "suicide enabler", the suicide equivalent of a narcissistic enabler.

If a person threatens suicide and gets nothing but attention and sympathy, this can trigger a cyclical, escalating pattern of threats and sympathetic responses that can sometimes trap the person into going through with the suicide.

Here's a true story -- many years ago one of my brothers committed suicide. After a few weeks, another brother told me he was compiling a list of people he felt were responsible for the suicide. My first comment was, "Is [the suicide] included on the list?" Of course, he wasn't. My next comment was that the list was dangerous -- the suicide's son would see how attentive and sympathetic everyone was being and he might begin to think suicide was a good idea. My brother didn't really understand what I was saying, the list got created and passed around, and a few years later, the suicide's son committed suicide also.

True story.

Re: Why I Tried To Kill Myself at Penn

#40

Post by josh-wrale »

smartistone wrote: post #21

attention seeking behavior- attempting suicide and then blogging about it and then possibly posting it here and elsewhere. also not sure how this story relates to hacking, computers, etc Why didn't the college do more? Because it's a place intended for learning, not mental health rehabilitation.

The word "university" has in it a form of "whole". As such, IMHO, this "place for learning" should strive toward teaching AND fostering coping mechanisms. Coping is, after all, and again IMHO, a key component to success. Tell us, without the basic will to live, what is success or "higher education"?
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