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Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

seattletimes.com

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Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#31

Post by inglor_cz »

pfdietz wrote: post #21

Patrick Boyle has looked at causes of decline in the total fertility rate around the world and concluded reduction in the formation of couples (married or not) is a major cause. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ispyUPqqL1c

See also "The Global Collapse of Coupling and Fertility"

https://www.ggd.world/p/the-global-collapse-of-coupling-and

I wonder if the ultimate cost (in lives never born) of technologies like smartphones and Tinder will be. If a significant part of the entire youth cohort never learns to interact with the other sex in the real world, we might be looking at a pandemics of loneliness - and at subsequent global birth deficits in eight to nine figures.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#32

Post by jfengel »

rileymat2 wrote: post #20
parpfish wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or maybe the porn gives them everything they need from a relationship and we’re seeing that there’s a larger segment that genuinely doesn’t need/want to be in a relationship.

This boggles my mind, porn only takes the place of a very small part of a healthy relationship.

Many people do a lousy job of looking after their own health, including their mental health.

Having all of your sex come from porn is like having all of your meals come from McDonald's. And that's a choice you can make. It's probably not the best choice, but a fair number of people do in fact make it.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#33

Post by linotype »

rileymat2 wrote: post #27
linotype wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For you or me maybe, but what if some people just don’t want to be in a relationship but still want that particular need (sexual gratification) to be met?

Yes, the discounting of other aspects is my mental block. I understand that everyone has different desires, but it is hard for me to, personally, empathize with. Hence the mind boggling.

It was for me as well, but the more I’ve worked in tech, the more men I’ve met that simply aren’t capable of a relationship.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#35

Post by parpfish »

aacid wrote: post #30
rileymat2 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This boggles my mind, porn only takes the place of a very small part of a healthy relationship.

I have currently some relationship issues so I might be biased but I keep asking myself what will I miss if not in relationship except sex that cannot be supplemented with family or friends… I've yet to find the answer.

I wouldnt be be surprised if there’s already a “relationship free” movement/group/trend similar to “childfree”.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#36

Post by spicyusername »

Aurornis wrote: post #16

My anecdote: We had offices in the Pacific Northwest (Seattle and Portland) at a previous company. A lot of young people worked in those offices. It was basically a rite of passage for them to move just outside of Seattle around the time they were getting married. This was so widely understood that it factored into decisions about where to locate office buildings and influences remote and hybrid policy. If you wanted…

I mean, people who get married typically plan to have children next. At a minimum they tend to stop participating in many urban activities, night life, etc.

Having children in an urban area is more expensive and the schools tend to be worse.

I don't think this is a uniquely Seattle phenomenon. It's pretty common to emigrate from the city center to the suburbs when planning to start a family or otherwise "settle down".

In most cases it's just simple economics.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#37

Post by guitarsteve »

toshinoriyagi wrote: post #18
georgeburdell wrote: post #4

I do want to point out that never-married by looking at legal paperwork is a blunt instrument. There are reasons, especially for dual high earners, to not get a marriage license. Examples of tax-related things that don’t double when married; -Income tax brackets above about $200k -SALT cap -Mortgage interest deduction -HSA contributions (if have children) -Dependent care FSA contributions

Isn't this all solved by just filing separately, not jointly?

No, for taxes, married filing separately is a different category than single. Married filing separately results in a higher tax bill than married filing jointly for most couples.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#38

Post by lazide »

rileymat2 wrote: post #20
parpfish wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Or maybe the porn gives them everything they need from a relationship and we’re seeing that there’s a larger segment that genuinely doesn’t need/want to be in a relationship.

This boggles my mind, porn only takes the place of a very small part of a healthy relationship.

That assumes people think they can find a healthy relationship.

The dating world is incredibly messed up right now.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#39

Post by jfengel »

aacid wrote: post #30
rileymat2 wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This boggles my mind, porn only takes the place of a very small part of a healthy relationship.

I have currently some relationship issues so I might be biased but I keep asking myself what will I miss if not in relationship except sex that cannot be supplemented with family or friends… I've yet to find the answer.

You can indeed have a perfectly healthy life with friends as your closest companions. It's really helpful to have a small number of partners who can take the primary position in an emergency, and it helps if they are in fact very close to you (ideally, cohabitating). There's no reason those people need to be sex partners, though it can be convenient.

You can construct your family in a lot of different ways. Having a lot of friends, some very close friends, and zero lovers is a perfectly valid one.

At least, it was becoming such. Legally, there is more and more push back against structures other than one male and one female, who are each other's sole and perpetual means of support.

Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows

#40

Post by forgotTheLast »

russell_h wrote: post #14

Without looking at any data I’m guessing part of this is that married men end up with kids and can’t afford a home they want to raise kids in there. Edit: also, school quality.

I'm from a different major North American city but the only married men I know who live within city boundaries either bought their residences 20+ years ago or were born/married into wealth. Everyone else moves to the suburbs once they get married or have kids because real estate in the city is unaffordable if you want 2+ bedrooms.
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