Patrick Boyle has looked at causes of decline in the total fertility rate around the world and concluded reduction in the formation of couples (married or not) is a major cause.
Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
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Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#22How many of these never-married men are in a relationship? Unmarried != single. Stats on the number of singles who have never been in a relationship would be far more valuable. Relationships, sexual or otherwise, are not subject to paperwork. The days of relationships, sex, or even reproduction being tied to marriage are long gone.
Anecdotal but my friends don’t try at all anymore or they don’t put in any effort and pretend that’s not their problem (read: you need to shower daily). It’s stupid because the combination of singles mixers, tinder, and community events make it very easy to find a partner (keeping them is another story) but nobody wants to try. I’m of the opinion that porn has sapped their will to find women, even though it’s very po…
> It’s stupid because the combination of singles mixers, tinder, and community events make it very easy to find a partner
Tell me you haven't tried to date in a decade without telling me. Dating is more in the ditches than it has ever been.
Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#23I do want to point out that never-married by looking at legal paperwork is a blunt instrument. There are reasons, especially for dual high earners, to not get a marriage license. Examples of tax-related things that don’t double when married; -Income tax brackets above about $200k -SALT cap -Mortgage interest deduction -HSA contributions (if have children) -Dependent care FSA contributions
Isn't this all solved by just filing separately, not jointly?
Nope. It's a reason some might note get married.
Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#24Earlier quoted context omitted.
Or maybe the porn gives them everything they need from a relationship and we’re seeing that there’s a larger segment that genuinely doesn’t need/want to be in a relationship.
This boggles my mind, porn only takes the place of a very small part of a healthy relationship.
For you or me maybe, but what if some people just don’t want to be in a relationship but still want that particular need (sexual gratification) to be met?
Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#25Anecdotally, among the people I know in Seattle, many people who have happily been in the same relationship for decades are not married. People are not avoiding long-term relationships, they are avoiding the baggage and fairly rigid assumptions that comes with state intervention in their relationships. There is zero social pressure to be “officially” married so people have no reason to do it for the sake of social conformity. Both men and women are subscribing to this.
I think some of this is a side-effect of many people planning to never have children.
Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#26As a single man with no desire to ever marry (but plenty of great lovers in my life), I feel like we need more context about their lives before we can assume that "never married singles" means much of anything at all.
Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#27Earlier quoted context omitted.
This boggles my mind, porn only takes the place of a very small part of a healthy relationship.
For you or me maybe, but what if some people just don’t want to be in a relationship but still want that particular need (sexual gratification) to be met?
Yes, the discounting of other aspects is my mental block.
I understand that everyone has different desires, but it is hard for me to, personally, empathize with. Hence the mind boggling.
Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#28[dead]
Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#29Seattle, meaning the city, right?
When people get married and think about settling down and maybe having kids, they usually leave high cost of living cities. They want stability, something they can own or rent long term, and usually more space, especially if kids are coming.
Sometimes they move to the suburbs, sometimes across the country.
The only people who stay tend to be rich people who can actually afford to get some space and stability in the city. Even then many of those decide to leave anyway for other reasons, again especially if they want kids.
High cost city centers are basically an extension of college dorms at this point. They are where people go to start their careers or level up, not stay.
This is like saying “study shows that most people in a shopping mall are looking to buy something” then extrapolating some larger conclusion from that.
Re: Half the men in Seattle are never-married singles, census data shows
#30Earlier quoted context omitted.
Or maybe the porn gives them everything they need from a relationship and we’re seeing that there’s a larger segment that genuinely doesn’t need/want to be in a relationship.
This boggles my mind, porn only takes the place of a very small part of a healthy relationship.
I have currently some relationship issues so I might be biased but I keep asking myself what will I miss if not in relationship except sex that cannot be supplemented with family or friends…
I've yet to find the answer.