Live data from Hacker News

Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com

31–34 of 34 posts

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#31

As a father of a two month old (and acknowledging the article goes in a different direction of my fears) this somehow reflects some of the questions that appear to me on decision taking that affects my child. And one of my main doubts is how to deal with the tradeoff finance/time spent with the baby. Should one of us quit from work? Maybe part time? Nanny at home vs daycare? Part of myself says it is obvious that the…

My 2 cents. Dad of 5 and 1.5 year old girls. Work at startup. Wife in PE.

Time with kids is important for sure. Many commenters rightly point that out with their own anecdotes. But, equally important is time to deal with yourself, the good, the bad, the etc.

Something that happens is your anxiety spikes. So, you're determined to spend time with your kids but also anxious about logistics or where/how to fit that time in relative to other demands.

So, you're anxious with and around your kids. That doesn't help them much either. In fact, I think lots of anxious moments in parenting would be better left ignored. In other words, your time with them is sort of good and bad - anxiety is contagious. They benefit from your presence but feel the stress like you do too.

Long story short: just focus on enjoying your time with them, and worry less about what you're doing, how much time you're spending, and certainly cut a lot of the overthinking.

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#32

As a father of a two month old (and acknowledging the article goes in a different direction of my fears) this somehow reflects some of the questions that appear to me on decision taking that affects my child. And one of my main doubts is how to deal with the tradeoff finance/time spent with the baby. Should one of us quit from work? Maybe part time? Nanny at home vs daycare? Part of myself says it is obvious that the…

Don't delay daycare for too long. The best teachers for your young kids are often other kids. I have friends who left / kept their kids too long at home either caring for them themselves or with a nanny, and the kids were developmentally behind. No I don't believe it was permanently, but it is amazing to see how fast your kids learn to crawl, walk, talk as soon as they see how other kids do it. Everyone finds their o…

[dead]

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Out of curiosity, in what countries is a three year long parental leave common? It just seems untenable, especially if the leave is compensated at full salary.

Based on what I’ve seen, there is no state sponsored parental leave program anywhere that is compensated at full salary, except perhaps for very low salaries.

I'm unsure what you've seen. Most countries in the world compensate at full salary: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave#By_continent

Re: Developmental costs associated with early maternal withdrawal (2022)

#34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Based on what I’ve seen, there is no state sponsored parental leave program anywhere that is compensated at full salary, except perhaps for very low salaries.

I'm unsure what you've seen. Most countries in the world compensate at full salary: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave#By_continent

it is usually only for the first part, but not for the whole time, unless the whole time is short. i haven't seen any that pay full salary for more than a year. and 3 years pretty much always had some time unpaid.
Post reply on HN